Sonny quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Sonny

So, your friend Rita, huh? I think she grew another dorsal fin during quarantine.

Benson

Oh, it was always there. I think that she just had it sharpened.

Sonny

Congratulations on the promotion. Head of the Civil Rights Unit, that's a big step up.

Well, after the riots, they needed someone who, how did my boss say it, checked every diversity box.

You people in Manhattan really live in a bubble, don't you? The world has changed. You have no idea what you're dealing with. You keep this up, I'll see to it you're disbarred. You get lucky, maybe the NYPD will take you back. You can do traffic stops on Staten Island.

Alright, we're done here...

Something they can't teach you at Fordham? How to belong. People on the eighth floor who nod at you in the elevator, they can smell the flop sweat and the garlic coming off your cheap suit.

Sonny

Keep goin', judge.

What do you wanna hear, you dumb dago? You wanna go?

Sonny

I'll take you out right here!

Benson

THAT'S ENOUGH! Let's go, Carisi.

No need. You're in so far over your head, you don't realize your career's dead and buried.

Judge Lewis

Are you ready to allocute, Judge Gallagher?

I am. Today I plead guilty to sexual misconduct. What I thought was consensual I now understand was perceived as coercive and hurtful actions.

Judge Lewis

I understand there's a deal?

We've agreed to the DA's offer of one year to be served under house arrest.

Judge Lewis

Mr. Carisi, are you comfortable with this?

Sonny

My office is satisfied, Your Honor.

Judge Lewis

Well, I'm not. Judge Gallagher, you come from a good family, a fine home, and yet despite all those advantages, upon achieving power, you abused it habitually. So in the interest of true justice for the women you've abused, I hereby order you to serve your one year sentence in a jail cell.

What?

It's fine.

You can't do that. We had a deal!

Judge Lewis

You did. And as you well understand, the bench has inherent powers in these situations. The long arm of the law can work both ways. You're remanded.

Could we stop using the expression, "He said/She said"? It sounds like, "There's no evidence, and there's nothing we can do". And why is the "he" always first?

Sonny

Kat, a jury understands "no means no." They have a harder time with, "Yes, but I want you to slow down" and "Even though you didn't stop, I'll still have a nightcap with you afterwards."

Every time you say a jury is going to have a hard time, I think you mean you.

Sonny

I gotta babysit Kat at a controlled meet. You got any tips for how to deal with her? Because everything I do makes her angry.

Fin

Then don't do anything.

Sonny

How's your friend Stabler doing?

Benson

I've talked to him a few times, but... you know.

Sonny

He's had a rough road.

Benson

Yeah. I'm worried for him.

Sonny

I don't know if it's the healthiest thing for him to investigate his own wife's murder.

Benson

Do you wanna tell him that?

Benson

[about Lonnie] What's his prior?

He's on parole for the sex assault of a teenage girl.

Fin

He claims it was a Romeo and Juliet story.

Isn't that possible?

Sonny

You'd be amazed how many statutory rapists use Shakespeare as a character witness.

Fin

Why'd you pick this girl?

It wasn't my idea. I did it for Antonio. That's my half-brother. Our mothers raised us together.

Sonny

Please don't ask for a lawyer.

Fin

For Antonio, why?

His PO was gonna send him back to Attica for some nonsense unless he did the girl and framed Lonnie. I was just trying to help him.

Fin

And then he rats you out.

I know, man. No good deed.

[on the phone with her father] Dad, we're already at the place. [pause] No, and no! [hangs up] He wants me to bring him a six-pack of Bud and a carton of cigarettes.

Sonny

[chuckles] He must be feeling better.

How much longer can this go on?

Sonny

I tell my mother, it's not endless, but it's indefinite.

Ready? A lot riding on this...

Sonny

And if all goes well, my bosses will take all the glory.

And if it doesn't?

Sonny

Maybe we open up our own agency.

I know the law better than anyone. Not that I haven't done anything I regret, but you'll never be able to prove any of them.

Maybe not. But the Southern District?? We have the resources to conduct a full forensic investigation into every detail of your life for the last 10 years.

Sonny

And you know what a living hell I can be.

You can abuse your power, that's true. So maybe it's time for me to offer a deal. My line of work, I know where a lot of bodies are buried.

Sonny

Yeah, because you buried them.

Let me give you two a tip. I'm offering you something. Change your affect. Lean in. Feign interest.

Sonny

[pause] What are we talking about?

An ex-president. An ex-president's relatives. Hollywood royalty. Real royalty. Silicon Valley billionaires. What's your pleasure?

I'm on my own. I should have known. [leaves]

She's not wrong.

Sonny

By which you mean she's right... and we're wrong.

Benson

So the boys are backing each other up. That's not a surprise.

Sonny

No, it's not, but this is a "she said, then deleted what she said, and then backtracked what she said".