Fin quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Munch

One of the perps was a 6-foot tall white man. Makes you a viable suspect.

This is bull!

Fin

No, that's racial profiling. Sucks, don’t it?

Fin

Okay, you live like a monk, how come somebody wouldn't have any pictures or nick-nacs around?

Munch

Some of us appreciate simplicity, others of us lost the nick-nacs in the divorce settlement.

Munch

If an overbearing mother and a distant father cause homosexuality, how come I'm not gay?

Fin

Maybe you're in denial.

Munch

That would explain a lot.

Munch

He could've been the member of some cult. In ancient Rome, priests of the goddess Cybele would castrate themselves to achieve divine status.

Fin

How d'you know that?

Munch

The Internet.

I didn't do anything.

Fin

Sure you did. You obstructed justice, hindering prosecution, plus you're a lying piece of crap, but we're not gonna charge you with that one.

You've come to beat me again. I am not afraid of you.

Fin

You should be afraid of her.

What can a woman do? Claw my eyes out?

Deport you. Your passport's been revoked.

Benson

Meet Nigerian Under Consul Kema Mabuda.

I have a few friends home in Nigeria. Perhaps it is time I paid 'em a visit.

Have them visit you, at Kirikiri Prison, while you await your execution.

Benson

They use a firing squad there, right?

Fin

Yeah. And the warden thinks that's too easy, so he ties you to a pole in boilin' sun, then he has his firing squad start on your ankles and work their way up real slow.

Stabler

How soon can we get him on a plane?

[scared] If I tell you what you want to know...?

[nods] I'll ask for leniency.

There's a truck arriving tonight.

Munch

Dodge ball?! Haven't they outlawed this barbaric practice yet?

Fin

I loved this game.

Munch

Yeah, well, you were a sadist. You know, I literally weighed 98 pounds. I can still hear them, "Break the pencil!" I was a walking bruise.

They yanked us off the air before the best part.

Fin

Something heavy fell on B.J.'s head?

Fin

Who's the best at undercover in your squad?

I'm your guy.

Fin

No offense, but my grandmother wouldn't sell an aspirin to you.

Fin

Cold pills?

Yep, and matchbooks.

Fin

Thousands of them.

You need both to cook crystal meth.

Fin

Well, that explains the pole-cams and the booby-traps. Meth makes you paranoid.

Beyond paranoid. I once collared a heavy tweaker who shot his dog because he was afraid he was gonna rat him out to the cops.

That sequence was an easter egg.

Fin

A what?

Munch

That's a hidden treat players can access for extra fun.

You're not as old as you look.

Every cop has a weakness, you just gotta know how to exploit it. They treat you like you're an imbecile; if you're not careful, you start to believe them. It's a game for them, they get off on it. They got these huge egos, that's their biggest problem. All you gotta do is let them know who's in charge. Not them, you. They used to call FBI agents “gangsters with badges”, one step away from being the worst criminals in society. Stabler's like that, big time.

Fin

Who's Stabler?

Jarhead detective.

Fin

You know Stabler?

I do, and he knows me too. He's been thinking about me for a long time. They try to hang you with your own words. Catch you in a lie. You're dead when that happens.

Fin

So what do you tell him?

The truth will set you free.

So, Elliot screams at him for a few hours, and what's the plan after that?

Fin

Don't know. That was the end of the plan.

Stabler

Cause of death?

Heroin trip.

Fin

This girl didn't OD.

No, I mean she tripped on the subway stairs because she was high.

Fin

Callahan's either a great guy or an unpredictable bastard, depending on who you talk to.

Benson

That's helpful.

Fin

It's better than Munch's "evil twin" theory.