Mike Logan quotes from Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Logan

So how does a girl like you end up with a Willie or a Skater?

Not pretty enough for TV stars.

Logan

Sure you are. One of those guys didn't even have a shower.

Skater. He went to my place to shower. Sometimes we would shower 3, 4 times a day.

Logan

[grins] That's a lot of showering.

[seductively] I like to shower.

Logan

Please don't tell anyone about this for now.

Don't worry. He doesn't deserve the publicity.

Wheeler

What does your hooker intuition say?

Logan

"Hooker intuition"? I didn't even know they're using BlackBerrys.

This is so unethical.

Logan

Unethical? Josh, the guy killed a busboy after paying him 2 grand to spike your sour cream.

Capt. Ross

We've been ordered off.

Logan

By who? The Feds, or Israel? On this one, are you a Jew first and a cop second? Is that the story?

Capt. Ross

[angry but controlled] We're done here, Logan. There are good guys and there are bad guys here. We're dealing with car bombs, terrorists. Hamas, PLO - they blow people up, in shopping malls, cafes, buses.

Logan

Come on! You really think Sarah Mier is the first innocent the Israelis have killed?

Wheeler

[placating] Captain. Logan.

Capt. Ross

Thank you for your help, detectives. We're off this case.

Logan

Do yourself a favor, Seamus, don't tell Twitch we're looking for him.

You have my word.

Logan

Somehow that doesn't comfort me.

[about the Holland sisters' lawsuit] Lorelai wins, she gets 90%. 900 million. The sisters will just have to get by on 100 million.

Logan

Life is tough.

Logan

I used to dream about Lennie, he was my old partner. And in the dream, he'd always say to me, 'I'm not dead, Mike. I'm not dead'. Then I'd wake up, and he'd still be dead.

Maybe not, if you dreamed about him.

Capt. Ross

[about the victim, whom Logan briefly dated] How well did you know her?

Logan

We took a ride in an old convertible once.

Logan

I know it's your day off, but it is what it is.

Trust me, I'll take a crime scene over playing a clown at the neighbor's kid's birthday party any day.

Capt. Ross

How're things working out with you two?

Logan

Workin'.

Capt. Ross

Falacci's not really a… people person.

Logan

Yeah. But she's a closer. Besides, I wanna take a shot at being the diplomat for once.

Did he say that I'm not a people person?

Logan

I'd let it go.

Logan

[Looking at the elaborately bound victim] Wow. Somebody spent a lot of time tying her up before they strangled her.

Didn't just tie her up. Kinbaku. Erotic Japanese bondage with natural jute rope.

Logan

Whatever you say, Falacci.

[when she enters the room where Judge Burns sitting on his chair] Hey! What's he doing in here?

The Judge wanted...

He wants you to hose down the crime scene? Get him out of here, he's a suspect! [Campesi looks at Logan] Don't look at my partner – he's got my back, not yours.

Logan

It's all right, Campesi, go on, get him out of here. [to Falacci] Take a cigarette break, would you, Falacci? The last thing you wanna do is to piss off a Supreme Court judge.

I don't need anybody telling me..... [Logan chuckles] What?

Logan

I'm just not used to being the voice of reason.