Okay, Carmine, how much do you need?
Five thousand bucks.
[Flipping through the bible] Five thou-
[Laverne stops flipping the pages, closes the bible, and bows her head]
Let us pray.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
No, no, you don't understand - I only need a wife for one night.
Get out.
No, no, no, it's for the money.
Then why don't you just call Ready Betty Wazaluski?
Both of you, get out of here!
[To Laverne] Boy, you just stepped straight off the bus right into Filth Town, didn't you?
Ooh, the swimsuit competition! I'm gonna turn down the sound so we can see it better!
Alright, so maybe we are pickleheads! BUT WE'RE THE BEST DAMN PICKLEHEADS IN THE STATE OF MILWAUKEE!
[Stuck in a dress] Somebody get this dress off me!
[Lenny & Squiggy barge through the front door.]
This looks like a job for a couple of pickleheads!
I treat my body like a temple, Laverne. You choose to treat yours like an amusement park.
[Referring to a fur coat] This is the second best thing I've ever felt!
[After seeing the guys gawk over a hot girl] Now I know who God gave the rest of my body to...
WWoman
[Speaking about Laverne and Shirley] You know the old saying - girls without looks make the best cooks.
If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you slap us, do we not swell up? If you spit on us, do we not get wet?
The answer to all these questions is yes.
Well, it could get hot in their kitchen.
Not if you don't take this it won't.
We've got a date with a couple of veterinarians.
Never trust men who don't eat meat. There's something fishy about them.
Nobody wants anything that's been chewed up and spit out.
Hello!
Aren't you gonna help me clean up this mess?
I can't...I'M TOO CRANKY
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Laverne & Shirley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.