You know that special feeling a guy gets for a girl?
Yeah... I got that for you.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[To his date] Keep drinking, it'll make it easier...
Don't be stupid! No man has EVER had a good time with me...
[Reading his note to Laverne while he sits on her legs] Shut up, sit down, listen to me! It took me a long time to work out what I had to say so be quiet until i'm finished! You lied to me, you hurt my feelings, you got me punched out, and you got mustard on my best jacket!
Is that it?
Yeah! Unless you could think of something?
Laverne Get off my legs okay.
[Gets off of Laverne's legs and gives her the note] What do you think?
[Looks at the note] You spelled mustard wrong.
[Looks at the note with Laverne] Too many O's, huh?
Do you know whats playing down at the new view?
What?
Godzilla on Monster Island!
[Grabs Lenny's shirt] You wouldn't lie to me would ya Len?
In Toho scope!
[Laverne and Lenny getting up] Well what are we sitting here for? What are we sitting here for?
I don't know but come on let's move!
I love when that baby Godzilla goes mama mama mama.
Yeah and there's Gigan, and uh Rodan and ghidorah and I think Mothra makes a rare cameo appearance.
Oh I loved that movie!
Yeah me too!
Love is blind.
Yes, but deaf, dumb, and unable to smell?
And remember - it's your hell, please keep it clean.
Just think, Laverne. We get to spend eternity surrounded by the good and the pure!
Hello!
I demand to speak to the vile and loathsome creature that runs this wicked inferno!
Hello!
Laverne: Shirl, where you gonna find a pair of pants big enough to fit over that big ol’ fat thing? [About Shirley's Hubba Hubba Hiney]
Can I borrow one of yours?
[Reciting the poem she wrote about Shirley, titled "My Friend"] My best friend is Shirley Feeney, the best in all the land. Whenever we're in trouble, we face it hand in hand. We laugh when we are happy, we cry when we are sad. We talk when we are lonely, just to know her makes me glad. If I had one wish in life, I know what it would be. I'd have Shirl as my best friend, for all eternity.
Lord, I swear, I'll never do another bad thing if you just send me some help.
Hello!
Okay the deal's off!
The bald man may get me, but he ain't gonna get this! I know what to do!
[Walks purposefully into the bathroom, we hear the toilet flush.]
Okay, now that's done. Now what am I going to do with this? [Pulls out film canister again]
I'm a bald killer. I follow two dames into the dining car. One is a knockout - a long-legged beauty whose tall, senseless body makes me forget my miserable childhood. And with her... a friend. I follow the girls back to their compartment - if only the pretty one was there alone. But no such luck. The stump is in there with her.
WWinnie
Mind if I join you?
[disguised as an old man] Why, am I coming apart?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Laverne & Shirley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.