Shirley Feeney quotes from Laverne & Shirley

Shirley

Those pills do not make her perky, they make her jerky!

Shirley

I'll be as loose as I ever am on a first date. A little of this, a little of that, but no petting.

Shirley

Hair all grungy, full of goo, shake and brush out, Quicky Poo!

Shirley

My scalp is all itchy, I feel like I have athlete's head!

Shirley

Darn it! Thou Shall Not Kill is missing! I can't wear THIS!

Shirley

Does anybody have any hobbies they'd like to share with us? stamp collecting? coin collecting? Flying large aircraft?

Shirley

Laverne, you can't marry a man you don't Love! ... Something bad will happen... you'll grow restless.... .... You'll start calling the milkman Joe!

Shirley

A man with peanut butter beckons and off you go?!

Shirley

By all rights, that should have been MY date.

Shirley

I hate to go down to unemployment. It's embarrassing down there. Everybody down there knows you don't have a job.

Shirley

[To Laverne] Boy, you just stepped straight off the bus right into Filth Town, didn't you?

Shirley

I treat my body like a temple, Laverne. You choose to treat yours like an amusement park.

Shirley

Don't be stupid! No man has EVER had a good time with me...

Shirley

Can I borrow one of yours?

Shirley

You mean to tell me that the ball in a ball game is made from a pony?!?