What are you doing?
T.L.C., eh, Tender Loving Care for my new plant.
Oh. Well, could you put a little TLC into a list of every burglary in eh, in the last two years?
“Deliver Us Some Evil” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Lt. Theo Kojak (3), Det. Stavros (1)
[chuckles] You're trying to convince me that the story you're telling is not a beautifully engraved $3 bill.
KSKenny Soames
Hey, what's that squeaking, Wendell, you or the gate?
WWendell
[laughing] It's the gate, you bum. I keep myself better oiled!
FMrs. Farenkrug
[to Kenny] Here you are, the only thing in pants with two lonely women. [laughs]
[apprehends thief] Shut off your motor. Haven't you heard of the energy crisis?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kojak pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.