Kenny quotes from Kenny vs. Spenny

Kenny

I'm sure Spenny is downstairs talking about the gorilla and the plight of the gorilla. Well, fuck the fucking gorilla. I am a human being and it is our mission to destroy all other species. So if you see a gorilla, you know what you fucking do? You take a fucking axe and chop its head off, and sell its paws as ashtrays.

Kenny

MY BALLS ARE achin', my legs are shakin', I wish I was Jamaican.

Kenny

[After recently purchasing a bag of crabs with the intention of throwing them at Spenny] 'Tis hot out today. I have a feeling he's in a "crabby" mood.

Kenny

The air is "electric", isn't it, Mr. Rice?

Kenny

I have an "eeling" you guys will be "shockingly" friends.

No more robot dance, that's all I ask. Do not robot dance anymore.

Kenny

I'm a robot kazoo. I love you. I'm a robot kazoo.

Kenny

Let me see... [snaps and throws the batons] You idiots!... Yeah, that'll be perfect. I'll take a couple of those.

I can't believe you just did that.

Kenny

I gotta make sure that they work.

Kenny

I'm just gonna climb up on top of Mother Nature and bust her bronco like the little bitch that she is.

First of all, you don't call Mother Nature a "bitch".

Kenny

She is a bitch.

Well, I don't agree with that.

Kenny

I'm gonna take care of her, froggy style.

Look, the more crazy he talks, the more scared he actually is.

Kenny

I'm goin' primitive, man. I'm goin' primitive on your ass! I'm goin' primitive on you, Spenny!

Oh, Jesus...

Kenny

I'm goin' Apocalypse Now on you! And you better watch it.

I'll give him 10 hours, tops.

Kenny

11.

Kenny

I've got itch-ass.

Did you use leaves?

Kenny

Yeah, but I used okay leaves. But it's still fucking itchy.

You used like, leaves to wipe, and you don't know what the leaves... they could've been poison ivy.

Kenny

Oh my God... you gotta...

What are you doing?

Kenny

I'm making you look at my ass. If there's a rash or...

I'm not looking at your...

Kenny

You have to see if there's a rash.

I am not looking at your ass.

Kenny

Look at my ass.

No!

Oh, God! Urgh... I don't know, man. I'm colour blind so it's hard for me to see.

Kenny

I, uh...I feel pretty good...pretty good... Spencer, umm...Spencer, how are you feeling?

How am I feeling? I've been up for 6 hours. I don't even want to be shot now. People are gonna wanna see me after I've been awake for 24 hours. This is ridiculous. I'm not even gonna be tired until 3 or 4 in the morning, so we're just wasting tape.

Very funny.

We're at the sleep disorders clinic at the Center for Sleep and Chronobiology with Spenny and Benny.

Kenny

Kenny.

Kenny.

[laughing] Kenny and Benny.

Kenny

You need some sleep.

Kenny

So what are ways that I can stay awake?

What we do! We pull our hair [pulls hair] ow, ow! And we clench our anus, haha!

Kenny

You want anything?

Yeah, don't come back.

Kenny

I may be back, I may not. You may not know - when I'm here or when I'm a shadow. When I'm a ghost or when you're alone. You may never know again. You may never know...

What is going on? You're peeing on the -

Kenny

Well I'm nervous get away!

You're dribbling like an old ma - You're getting it all over the floor!

Kenny

[Laughing] It's just pee!

Kenny

I'm peeing - are you trying to get a look at my dick?!

[Laughing] It's not - that's not your dick what is that!?

Kenny

[Laughing] It is my dick! It's my dick! Don't look!

[Laughing] Oh my God! Disqualification! Disqualification! What are you insane? What the hell is that, is that piss?!

Kenny

It's too salty. Did you put four cups of water in it?

Go to hell.

Kenny

Thank you. Bastard. It's your fault I have a broken leg!

Get a nurse! AND A NANNY!