Why don't we have a second honeymoon?
I remember what happened the first time.
Me too. I remember what happened the first time.
We argued the all the time.
Nearly all the time. I couldn't get over that confession of yours!
Well, I thought it was only proper. If we were starting married life, we shouldn't have any secrets.
But what a time to spring it on a bloke. On his wedding night! I barely got started on all your new underwear and then you told me.
I thought it was a bit much, you getting straight up and going out for a long walk.
I had to think about things. I had to decide if I could live with it.
I can't think what was so bad about it!
You should have come clean about it before we got married.
You wouldn't have married me.
You were lucky I didn't divorce you.
It's not grounds for divorce.
Being a Liverpool supporter!
You look up at the sky and you think 'That's nice.' Little do you realise it's full of black holes! They can suck you in. Compress all your matter.
(looking at his stomach) It could do with a bit.
Look, if it's going to upset you, you have to stop watching Open University.
I wish we could afford a new car.
I wish we could afford this one.
I'll be up there, looking for icebergs and growing a beard.
I believe I could get used to this; going places and not having to drive. (to himself) Not that I ever do drive. I just steer and follow instructions.
You'll pay for this, Richard Bucket! (realises her mistake) ...Bouquet!
The Bucket residence, the lady of the house speaking! No, you cannot have a number 41 with noodles instead of rice. Do I sound like the Green Lotus? What do you mean "sounds more like the Green Dragon"? Look, I must warn you, you're speaking to a white slimline telephone within the precincts of a clergyman. And a very merry Chinese New Year to you, too!
When you have to choose between Angel Gabriel Blue and Lucifer Grey, you need the spiritual advice.
I had to have the Vicar's confirmation that this is Angel Gabriel blue.
A strange man in the house.
(looks at Onslow) There's been one here for years.
Well, I know what I'm gonna do. (hits the TV and sits down)
Onslow, you can't just sit there watching telly when there's a strange man in Father's bed!
You can't! He's got a receipt!
(on the phone to Sheridan) Your car needs a respray? Oh, but I thought your friends liked that lilac colour.
Richard did not enjoy playing Mark Antony at the last ball
Oh no dear! I couldn't let you loose as a Roman again!
Hyacinth is dismayed to see that she is not the only guest dressed as Queen Boudica
Home, Richard! I will not share my throne with those impostors!
It's my sister, Violet. She's the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.
(on the phone) Look, Rose. If you need somewhere private, bring him here. Then I can keep an eye on you, and Richard can show him his skis!
Miss Pilsworth (Seeing Hyacinth coming) Oh, Lord. It's the Candlelight Queen.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Keeping Up Appearances pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
