You're a grown man!
And she's a groan a minute!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(a little tipsy) I do hope, your Lordship, that someday you'll give me the pleasure of entertaining you at one of my candle-lie slippers. We shall most deferably be having a glass or two of the Dowager Lady Ursula's home-goose wade-berry mine.
(drunk) Don't turn left, Richard. Strrraight on!
Why?
I want to take a little gift to Daddy: a bottle of the Dowager Lady Ursula's gomemade wooseberry hine.
Hyacinth is harassing a man in a phone box. Richard decides enough is enough
Hyacinth, stop that at once and GET INTO THE CAR!
MIMan in phone box
Well done, sir! In wartime, you'd have got a medal for courage like that.
Why is Onslow reading the Financial Times?
I like to keep an eye on the economy. A bloke in my position has to wonder how long the country can afford him. If we don't get the economy right, people like me are gonna be in trouble! It's the duty of all of us to be concerned about the shrinking pound.
And when I married him, I thought he was just a sex symbol.
Now, what shall I wear to answer the telephone?
You have one last task to perform.
What's that?
To go back into Number 24a.
Why, for goodness' sake?
To get Daddy out!
(on the phone to Daisy) I need volunteers. My other people didn't turn up. Everybody seems to be ill. There's an epidemic doing things to grandmothers you just wouldn't believe!
(to Richard) Please make sure Onslow wears a tie at the funeral.
VVicar
It was just a bump on the head, Mrs Bucket.
Tell God it's Bouquet!
It's my sister, Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony.
Oh, Richard!
I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial, it's bound to be someone important.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Keeping Up Appearances pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.