Kid Batman quotes from Justice League Unlimited

Circe

You're both beginning to remind me of Sisyphus after a hard day pushing his boulder up a mountain. But me, I could keep this up all night.

Wait. It seems that magic always has a price.

Circe

And your point is...?

What would I have to give to make you lift your spell on Diana?

Circe

Well, now you're getting interesting. I want something from you that's very precious. Something you've worked very hard to conceal. Something when gone, you can never regain. Something so shattering...

[singing] Am I blue? Am I blue? Ain't these tears in my eyes telling you... Am I blue? Am I blue? Ain't these tears In my eyes tellin' you? Am I blue? You'd be too If each plan That you had done fell through...

[singing] There was a time I was Your only one...

But now I'm the sad And lonely one...

Circe

Beautiful.

Zatanna

And you'll keep your part of the bargain?

Circe

A deal's a deal. He can stop now.

Zatanna

Not on your life!

[singing] I should say...

Wonder Woman

Circe.

Remember when Penguin tried to kidnap that singer?

Zatanna

Ricky what's-his-name? So?

I spent a month on stakeout. Must've heard that song a hundred times.

Zatanna

[to Batman, after he leaves the stage] Is there anything you can't do?

There's one thing I've never been very good at. Saying "thank you." [they share a smile]

Wonder Woman

And, truthfully, it's all still pretty much of a blur to me. Did I miss anything?

Not really. The important thing is you're safe.

Wonder Woman

Yeah. Of course, that's not the only important thing.

Sir, according to my thermal sensor readings of Dr. Simmons, you just missed a prime opportunity to... well, I believe the phrase is, "kiss the girl."

Kissing girls is for heroes, Skeets.

Nice work, Elongated Man.

Green Lantern

That was just about the slickest move I've ever seen.

Hey, it was a team effort. I'm just glad I stretched in the right place at the right time.

Back to normal, huh?

Mordru's magic was nullified when he lost consciousness. I thought I told you to stay on crowd control.

I know, but... there was this... I mean, you wouldn't believe it... it almost.. [pauses on seeing Batman narrowing his eyes] ah, forget it.

You and I are gonna have a little chat later. [walks away]

[sarcastic] Looking forward to that.

The new Bermuda Platform's under attack. If it collapses, we're gonna have the worst oil spill in history on our hands. I've told those idiots to stay out of my ocean.

Superman

ETA is three minutes, Aquaman.

Wonder Woman

Right behind you, Superman.

See you there, Diana.

These geniuses dug right into the Earth's magma. Never occurred to them there'd be anything living down there.

Not to worry, fellow heroes. The Ultimen are here.

Not them again.

Now, is that nice?

You know, Juice, Superman was my hero when I was a lad. It's not his fault he's getting old.

Superman

"Old"?! [breaks free]

Old but spry, sir, old but spry!

It's, uh, really an honor to be working with you, Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman

Thank you, Long Shadow.

Lend them a hand, Brother?

Absolutely, Sister.

Flood!

Sea serpent!

Don't be afraid, Wonder Woman. It's only me, Shifter.

Wonder Woman

Any chance you could warn me before you try to drown me?

We were only trying to help.

[surrounded with Aquaman by Lava men] Can you make telepathic contact?

Do they look like fish to you?

Don't despair, old chum.

I didn't know you could do that.

Neither did I. Finding new sources of fuel for an energy starved world is truly a worthy endeavor. But in man's quest to better himself, he must respect all of the world's creatures, including those poor beasts whose homes you've disturbed. It's imperative that we learn to share our planet if Earth is to survive.

He's certainly... earnest.

Superman

I think the word is "corny."

Wonder Woman

Our paths keep crossing, and our goals are very much the same. Isn't it time you accepted our offer?

All right!

We're truly flattered, Wonder Woman, but we're simply not ready yet. All of you in the Justice League stand as shining examples of what true heroism is. I only hope that one day-- the Ultimen can live up to your legend.

Superman

Oh, for crying out loud.

Wonder Woman? I... I think it'd be terrific if one day we could join the League, but--

Wonder Woman

Maybe you could come with me on patrol sometime.

Oh! Oh, that would be--

Let's go, Romeo.

This is incredible. Every atom of it is filled with books' worth of information, it is beautifully simple, it—

Save it for the autopsy.

Wonder Woman

By all means, you first.

Green Lantern

Diana's carrying a grudge.

She'll get over it. How 'bout you? Carrying anything?

Green Lantern

What? Shayera? We're cool. We're giving each other our space. I'm seeing Vixen, now. [pause] I'm very happy.

Uh-huh.

Green Lantern

Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?

Nothing. She's a respected colleague.

Green Lantern

Uh-huh.

I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow any distractions. Diana's a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend, she's... [realizes] ...standing right behind me, isn't she?

Wonder Woman

[indeed she is] Don't let that stop you. [leans over Batman, flirtatiously] Keep digging.

David Clinton

Aah!

Who are you? How did you get in the watchtower?

David Clinton

You weren't supposed see me. Stay away! No one's supposed to know I was here.

Green Lantern

Everybody okay?

Wonder Woman

Where are we?

"Where"? I think the question is "when"?

I have to confess. You're about the most colorfully attired individuals I've ever bushwhacked. You circus folk?

Wonder Woman

Not exactly.

I don't care what you are, long as you pay the toll.

Wonder Woman

Toll?

Welcome to Elkhorn, Oklahoma, ma'am. This here is Tobias Manning territory.

Wonder Woman

You want tribute? Money?

Why in particular... That fat gold chain will do just fine, unless you got somethin' else you want to give--

Wonder Woman

Those are the biggest, slowest bullets I've ever seen.

You're letting them go?

Wonder Woman

Hm? Oh, no.

I was afraid of this. The Elkhorn Gazette. It's either an amazing forgery, or it's less than a month old.

Wonder Woman

So?

Look at the date. [reading]: June, 1879.

Green Lantern

I have mentioned how much I hate time travel.

Wonder Woman

If we don't find our sneak thief, we're stuck here.

Green Lantern

Let's head for the nearest town. See if we can find him.

We can't go anywhere dressed like this.

Wonder Woman

No. We can't.

We need to get out of here.

Leaving so soon? You didn't even take any party favors.

Incoming! That's not gonna hold.

Where do you think you're going, sugar?

Look, Dee Dee, another Green Lantern. He's much cuter than the last one we killed, don't you think, Dee Dee?

Green Lantern

How'd you?

Ow.

Hold still so I can pound you.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Hey! What's the big idea? You shouldn't ought to have done that.

We're getting out of here now. Not a chance. Hold the line.

Wonder Woman

He's right. We're the Justice League. We don't run from a fight.

I don't remember putting this up for a vote.

Green Lantern

Keep your head in the game. There's always a way. Virgil! I need some cover.

They're gone, Dee Dee. Bet I know which way they went, Dee Dee.

After 'em!

Green Lantern

I think we've lost them.

Wonder Woman

Where are we headed? The Watchtower?

Not exactly.

This is Justice League headquarters?

For now. We're all that's left of the League.

You've traveled about fifteen years into your future.

Green Lantern

Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for a man your age.

The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty.

And the Watchtower? :Batman II: It's gone. We lost a lot of good people that day.

Wonder Woman

You mean, Superman, J'onn, all the others? :Warhawk: Yeah. You too.

And the bat cave? :Old Bruce Wayne: This is all we have left now. Deal with it. Surprised to see me?

A little. I'm more surprised that I lived so long.

Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?

[in unison] Not now.

Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?

This is a little weird for everybody. I'm Warhawk. Rex Stewart.

Green Lantern

Your mother. Who is she?

Kind of obvious, don't you think?

Even if it isn't, leave it be. You don't wanna know too much about your future.

Trust me, you really don't.

In the Caribbean, the San Baquero volcano went active during the night, sending a cloud of ash miles into the air. Geologists predict a devastating eruption sometime within the week. Sources report the Justice League has offered to help the Baqueran authorities with the evacuation.

Amanda Waller

Yeah, have the car ready in 20 minutes and get all the division heads in for the meeting an hour early.

Closer to home, the political world is still reeling from Lex Luthor's surprise announcement of his candidacy for President of the United States. Overnight polling among likely voters shows Luthor to be within striking distance of both major party candidates.

Get dressed. It's time we talked.

Amanda Waller. Born in St. Louis, Rhodes scholar, PhD in Political Science. Served in Intelligence, under three administrations. Disappeared from public life, four years ago.

Amanda Waller

[deadpan] Am I supposed to be impressed? Maybe I should rattle off your resume now? Y'know, I could blow the whistle on you any time I want...

Fine, why don't we step into the light together? I'm sure the American people will be just as interested in your activities as mine - Secret weapons, illegal cloning experiments, bypassing Congress...

Amanda Waller

What do you want!?

I want to know what you think you're doing.

Amanda Waller

Did Superman ever mention that to get Luthor's pardon, he had to tell us about your parallel universe adventure? All about it? We started to wonder what would happen if you took the same action that the Justice Lords did, so I had my people run some computer simulations. If the Justice League ever went rogue, what do you think would be the result?

That's moot.

Amanda Waller

[Dryly] Humor me. In every single scenario, you beat us. Badly. But that was before Cadmus. Now we have the technology to defend ourselves.

[Threatening] Whatever you think you're doing, if you present a threat to the world, the Justice League will take you down...

Amanda Waller

[Angry] If we present a threat!? You got a spaceship floating over our heads with a laser weapon pointing down! In another dimension, seven of you overthrew the government and assassinated the President! We're the good guys, protecting our country from a very real threat: you.

What's to stop us?

Me! Those guys went overboard because their Flash died. So as long as you all focus on keeping me alive, that'll never happen here.

Let's put a pin in that theory to explore another time.

I've got the Question looking into it and-

Not that kook!

Wonder Woman

[Joking] You'll do anything to avoid monitor duty...

Sent him [Doomsday] off to the Phantom Zone, didn't you?

Superman

He left us no choice.

Spoken like a true Justice Lord...

Superman

[Offended] What!? Come on!

Passing judgment like gods... With our super-powered army and our orbiting death ray... Cadmus is right to be scared - the human race wouldn't stand a chance...

Superman

We'd never go there! It isn't in our nature and nothing can change that!

Nothing? What if Luthor does become President, like he did in their world? What would stop you from doing what that Superman did!?

Superman

There's always that Kryptonite you carry around...

You don't get to joke! Not today! [Points at him] I just took a bullet for you!

Superman

I'm sorry, Bruce. You're right. But you don't have to worry about the Justice League. Trust me. You know me.

Yeah, I do.

Superman

Get some rest.

J'onn! We're in trouble!

Are you asking for help?

Yes!

You never ask for help.

Just get us some reinforcements!

Superman, you needed.

Superman

I'm in the middle of something. Can it wait?

Unfortunately, no. It's the Parasite.

Superman

Give me half a minute and I'll be right--

Good work.

It was nothing really.

Hey, I think he's blushing. Don't be modest, kid. I don't even think Superman could have done a better-- Wait... We were just talkin' about you.

Superman

And you are?

Oh, that's right. You were on a space mission when we recruited him.

I'm Captain Marvel, sir, and it is an honor. You're my biggest fan.

Superman

Excuse me?

I... I mean, I'm your biggest fan. Sorry, sir. It's, uh-- It's a little overwhelming meeting you.

Superman

It's a pleasure, Captain, a real pleasure.

Gosh. Take it easy, folks one at a time okay.

Lois Lane. Captain Daily Planet. How does it feel to be part of the Justice League?

How does it feel? Like I've waited my whole life for this. I mean, being on the same team with Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman. I still can't believe they actually let me join.

What is it you value so much about the League?

Golly. I guess it's all the good they do. Not just helping people which is great. I mean, that's the reason we're all here in the first place, right? But they really make a difference they change the world.

How so?

Well, just look at Lex Luthor. He used to be a supervillain for pete's sake and now he's one of the good guys. I think it's terrific that he's running for president, don't you?

Uh, are you moving to Metropolis from fawcett city.

No, ma'am. I help where I'm needed, but I'm a fawcett boy at heart. Sorry, folks, but I really gotta go.

You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?

Superman

I thought I was the Boy Scout?

I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel. [at this point, the villains all lie defeated around them] What did these guys want, anyway?

Superman

To take over the world. Or rob banks, I forget. But back to Captain Marvel: why are you... why is everyone defending him?

We like him. He's... sunny.

You want me to what?!

Wonder Woman

Turn yourself over into U.S. custody, along with the rest of us.

Yeah, that makes sense, okay.

Superman

Meet us at the coordinates I’m sending first. We should all go over together.

This is the single dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. If you’re feeling guilty, clear your own name. Don’t stand on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to do it.

Wonder Woman

We’ve already voted. Five in favor.

Six.

Wonder Woman

You have to come with us, Bruce.

I don’t have to do anything. I’m a part-timer, remember? [Hangs up]

Wonder Woman

Actually, he took it a lot better than I’d expected.

Someone took over our fusion cannon by remote control. There are maybe three people on Earth smart enough to pull that off. Two of them were already on the Watchtower. And that leaves...

Amanda Waller

Luthor. That's where you're trying to lead me, right?

You're too smart to trust him.

Amanda Waller

Who says I do? He provides off-the-books funding for Cadmus. As far as I'm concerned, that's all he's good for.

Then you must know he's got his own agenda.

Amanda Waller

He wants to be President. That's agenda enough for anybody.

Almost anybody.