[to Jerry] You are a moron of epic proportions!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Lorna Thompson (to Shelly Cecil): SHUT! UP! Marsha is dead. Do you understand that?
SCShelly Cecil
Oh, so that's why she's not answering my emails.
OCOliver Cecil
Shelly!
SCShelly Cecil
Of course I understand! I killed my best friend! I saw her lying there. My life is over! I can't go back to school, I can't even walk down the street. I'm a murderer! So do whatever you want with me, okay? Put me in jail for the rest of my life. Make her happy because it's all over! I'm already dead!
Miss Cecil. Shelly. Look at me. Okay, okay, then just listen to me. We're going to get through this, all of us.
OCOliver Cecil
[Whispered] We'll get through this, okay?
It's not over.
[to herself in the mirror, wearing Graciela's jacket and cap] You betta step off before I hafta open up a can o' whoop ass.
If this social worker thing doesn't work out, maybe I can work as a carpenter like, uh, what's-his-name.
Jesus?
I was thinking Harrison Ford, but...
RRob
[discussing Amy's solution to the "paper war"] How rad, sticking it to the man!
She IS the man.
RRob
Well, then who are we sticking it to?
My point exactly.
[to the State Attorney] You can have your transfer, but you can shove your apology!
DDiesel
I call this piece "Bars."
APAnother Prisoner
[laughs] Where'd you come up with that one, Dawg?
I was actually going to skip that exercise and slap a bunch of name tags on you, but I thought slapping you might be bad for me.
[telling Lauren what she can't do] ...no pink hair or any other color that is not a spawn of this gene pool!... and the only piece of metal that's getting pierced through your body is a tracking device I may get surgically inserted into your neck!
I've bought cheesecake!
Did you buy non-dairy?
Oh, honey, Grandma doesn't do non-dairy.
You are the best mother of the world and Amy knows this. She has learned everything from you. And I'm proud to be in your family.
Everyone else's mother's always look good.
You came!
You called.
IDInterior Decorator
Usually I'm so perceptive of people. Come on… what's changed?
Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I've cut my hair.
"Never wear fire for a hat"… I haven't any idea what it means. I read it in a bathroom stall once and it stuck with me.
By the way, I'm getting married a week from Saturday. I expect you to be there.
A week from Saturday? Maxine, why are you getting married a week from Saturday?
So I can have sex, Sean. Why else would anyone get married?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Judging Amy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.