Mista quotes from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

That's great. Could you please heal me? I'm dying.

(stabs Narancia and smashes his face into the table for getting an answer wrong) MEASLY LITTLE PUNK-SHIT! YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH ME?! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP TEACHING YOU THIS LESSON?! YOU DENSE CAGACAZZO!!!

Uh-huh, now he's definitely gone off the deep end. Hey, Abbacchio, you gonna eat the rest of that cake or what?

AAAAAAAAAAGH! (pulls Fugo away from a shocked Trish after the former got knocked into the latter's bust) Please, miss, you gotta forgive Fugo! He didn't mean to come off as an over-eager horn-dog! I know it seems like we hit the brakes so my man here can peek at those jaunty jiggle-sacks, but I give you my word that's not it! Blame his weakness in the face of boobs!

Fugo

Just shut up, would ya!? I was bracing for impact, and you're making it sound like I was trying to cop a feel!

JUST PROMISE ME WHATEVER YOU DO YOU WON'T TELL THE BOSS!!!

Guess being stuck inside a turtle has its drawbacks. It's kinda muggy. Hey Narancia, you want a drink, too? Hope you're good with it being cold. There's cola and mineral water, sparkling water, and apple, orange, and pineapple juice. [noticing that Narancia's gone deaf] Hey, are you listening to me at all?!

Narancia

Huh? You say something, Mista?

I asked if you wanted something to drink! Though you might wanna try getting some shut-eye! You've seen better days there, man. I'll keep an eye on the ceiling while you rest.

Narancia

Sounds like a plan! I'm actually starting to feel a little achy, anyway. My back and shoulders are killing me, so I think I'll cop a squat. Something warm would sure hit the spot right now, but nothing too heavy.

For the last time, all we've got in the fridge are cold ones! Come on! Does your brain shut down when you talk to people!?

Narancia

In that case, banana, it is. Yeah. [reads the magazine] Gardens like these really soothe the soul. Your stress just melts away. So heavenly. Man, oh, man, what I'd give to bask in that Garden of Eden's warm sunshine, just daydreaming about the good old days.

Narancia

Huh? You're saying I did what now!? There's no way! You're crazy!

You're, uh, drooling pretty bad there, man. That is so freaking nasty! The heck is that!? Hey!

Narancia

I was craving this banana, but it's no good. I mean, just look at it. It's like a piece old stale beef jerky.

That's funny. You're really having cold in there, Narancia? Don't scare me like that. It almost looks like that thing coming out of your mouth is a real tooth. I appreciate the commitment, but I think you're taking a bit too far. Just what is that dangling thing made of?

Narancia

Huh? You say something again, Mista? Speak louder. Stop whispering, would ya? I can't hear what you're saying.

Oh, and there's one more thing: Since I'm not actually healing your body, you're still going to have a bit of residual pain.

GAH! WHAT THE HELL! Do you have to be so rough, Giorno? Take it easy on me, I'm injured!

I already told you, there's nothing I can do. Settle down and take it like a Mafioso. Besides, there's about 18 more to go, and you'll have to strip it if you want this to work.

AAH! GIORNO!!

Narancia

Ah, there they are! Mista! Huh?

(in a very awkward positioning with Giorno) Would you stop doing so hard?! Ah, leave my damn clothes on, it's too intense! Gah! Woah! OOH!

Narancia

(GASP!)

Narancia? Did you find them?

Narancia

Huh!? Why, u-uh... No? But...Argh! There's something in my eyes! (covering his eyes) It's so hard to see in this early morning light! I'll keep after it, though!

Ah, Giorno! No! Stop! Agh! I can't take it anymore! NOT SO ROUGH, DAMN IIIIIITTT!!!!

(To Giorno) Listen, Bucciarati is smart as they come. No way in hell he couldn't take on an opponent he couldn't beat. We're gonna be rolling in sweet lire, amico mio.

Fugo Pannacotta

Mista! Not you too!

(after Narancia spilled wine on his suit) What are you gonna do about this, you little shit!? You think you can pay for this!? This suit cost four million lire! Let's take this outside!!

Narancia

(smacks the guy with a wine glass) Then you must be the enemy!

What!? (He and Narancia proceed to stomp on the guy after he hits the ground, joined by Abbacchio after taking a slip of his wine while watching them.)

Abbacchio

(Stops kicking) Hold on, Narancia, Mista. I don't think this one's an enemy. He's unconscious. He's most definitely not an enemy.

Narancia

Wha!? Seriously!? Crap, what do I do now!?

Yep, the stain's going to be hard to clean. One single drop of red wine on a white suit really stands out.

Narancia

I can't pay for this shit!

Well, the location of the stain might make it look like a button. If he puts a button here, he can hide it.

Abbacchio

(feeds the guy their meals) While we're at it, let's get him to make sure there isn't any poison in our food...

Trish

(looking at a mirror) Oh, no. Am I...? Did we...?

Trish

WHAT HORRIBLE CURSE IS THIS!? I LOOK HIDEOUS! (smells herself) Damn... My armpits stink! Dear Lord, JUST KILL ME NOW!

Oh, come on now, Trish, that's just rude! We've got bigger things to worry about than the smell of my pits! Like the Stand that attacked us, this doesn't look like the handiwork of King Crimson, which can only mean we've got another bad guy out there trying to mess with us!

Trish

KYAAAAH! You've got to be kidding with this, right?! Do you ever clean under your damn nails?! And sheesh, your knuckles, too! It's called basic hygiene, look it up! (sniffs Mista's hand) Every part of me stinks! Couldn't I have switched with someone who showers!? Why did it have to be Mista!?

Well... I don't know. Maybe because we happened to pass out right next to each other. That aside, you know words can hurt just as much as Pistols sometimes. (sniffs Trish's hand) It can't be that bad.

Trish

Hey! Whoa there! What exactly do you think you're doing with those fingers!? (looking at Mista, scratching Trish's groin)

Whoa, i-it's not what you think at all! I wasn't trying to cop a feel, I swear to God! It's just the elastic is itchy, you know?!

Trish

YOU BETTER KEEP THOSE HANDS OUT OF MY PANTIES!

All right, sorry!

Trish

If I catch you touching anything else, I'll bury you alive!

Fine, jeez, I get it! I'm just saying these panties feel like a bunch of rubber bands racing to see who can split my ass in half first! And your bra's a real hugger, too!

Trish

(shaking Mista in Trish's body) Listen, dick, you even think about going anywhere near my skirt again, I'll kill you! Do you hear me?! There will be nothing left of you! (cries over into "Narancia's" chest) Narancia!

Tch. That's not Narancia, you idiot.

Trish

Huh?

You pay no attention, but I'm the dope, right? (spits)

Trish

(in a ridiculously high-pitched and whiny yell) CUT THAT OOOOOUUUUUUUUUT!

(in Diavolo's body) Narancia, how does our perimeter look? Are you able to detect anyone coming? Narancia?

(in Trish's body) Please. I'm begging you. Just one more bullet. Please just drop one more! You're driving me nuts!

Trish

(in Mista's body) What the hell? Why couldn't I feel his soul like I usually do? It doesn't make any sense!

(in Narancia's body) Out of the way! Move! Let me through! Now!

Damn it, no! That's impossible! How on Earth could he have---?!

(in Diavolo's body) Mista, scan the area right now! Make sure there's no one around!

(in Trish's body) Narancia! Bucciarati, hurry up and get him down from there! Don't just leave him like that! Do something, goddammit!

(in Narancia's body) You need to settle down! Let me handle this!

(in Diavolo's body) Please, stay focused and keep your gun at the ready! He'll attack again! We have to find him before he does, quick! (summoning Sticky Fingers) Go, Sticky Fingers!

(in Trish's body) Heal him! Hold those damn bars out of there and get to work now!

Trish

(in Mista's body; monologue) (The people outside the colosseum are waking up, so where is he? I can't sense him at all. It's like he's gone. What else could have happened? There's no way in hell he just up and vanished like that!)

(in Diavolo's body) King Crimson's range is two or three meters at most. How then did he attack us from way over there?

(in Trish's body) Well, all right! You did it! Narancia's awake! Welcome back, you little bastard! How are you feeling? Geez, you really scared us.

(along with his spirit) I'm sorry, Mista. There's no one left in here. It's empty. The physical wounds he suffered have healed, but still, Gold Experience couldn't get to him in time. He was... He was already gone. Narancia's... not here...

(in Narancia's body) His form... he's just an empty vessel now. I can't find him. His soul has left. There's nothing here, try as I might, I can't bring him back. I wasn't fast enough. My soul could just slip right back in if it wanted, it could inhabit both bodies without a problem, not even one. He's that empty...

(in Trish's body) NARANCIA!!!!!!!!!!

It was all so sudden... None of us could have guessed...

Stay put, okay? We’ll be right back. You’ll be safe here. I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I promise. And don’t you worry. When it’s over, we’ll bring you home.

Guys, I'm totally serious! Just hear me out!

Narancia

(impatient) Aww, geez! For the last time Mista, no one gives a shit!

No, listen! This is a good one. I promise you. Gentlemen, let me ask you all, do you think human flesh would taste like crap or would it actually rock?

Fugo

Could you maybe not ruin our appetites?

Narancia

(furious) What the hell goes on in that messed up head of yours! That's it!! Go sit at a dipshit table!

(to Mista) Next you'll say: "Uno, due! Die, cazzone! I expect an honest answer!"

Uno, due! Die, cazzone! I expect an honest answer! (gasps)