Johnny Test quotes

Hugh

Why is using your manners at the dinner table so difficult for you?

Because dinner is so boring.

Hugh

How would you know? You never sit still long enough. 1 night. Is that too much to ask. Ha! I bet you couldn't even do it for 1 night.

I totally could.

Lila

Yeah, I don't think so, sweetheart.

Hugh

You think you can just sit there and not spill, burp, mini vomit, make a gross comment or destroy anything at tomorrow's dinner? And eat whatever's put in front of you?

Piece of cake. And if I do it and win the bet you have to do my homework for a week and buy me ten new video games.

Hugh

And when I win you clean your room for a year and yell from the rooftop for everyone to hear that you love my meatloaf.

Deal!

I need your help to win the bet.

Susan

And what do we get out of it?

Can't you just help him because you're brother and sister?

Susan

No.

Lila

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS INSANITY!!

He started it!

Lila

I don't want to hear it. You're both responsible. Johnny, would it be too much to keep your elbows off the table, excuse yourself after burping and ask for things instead of reaching for them?

(awkwardly) No.

Lila

And dear, we're not sitting with the Queen of England can you not be such a stickler about manners? Lighten up a little. And maybe choose ingredients for your Around the World Meatloafs that this family would actually enjoy eating?

Hugh

(awkwardly) Yes.

What's behind your back?

Nothing!

Where're we going in the car?

To the Squeaky... Toy... Hotdog... Roller-Coaster Store.

That doesn't sound like a real thing. What's behind your back?! [Reaches behind Johnny.] A leash! Wait a minute... Dad in car, boy hiding leash, the smell of deceit lingering in the air... (gasps) you're trying to take me to the vet!!

It's just a checkup. Don't be a scaredey cat.

Watch it, mister! I'm a scaredey dog! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go run in fear.

Dukey, nobody likes going to the doctor, but it's something we all have to do. Like homework or holding in gas at the dinner table.

I need your keys.

Huh?

He locked the front door.

How does a dog...

HE'S AN IMPRESSIVE DOG, OK?!

Really?! You're gonna laser me to the vet?!

It's for your own good!

This is how you convince me to not be scared?!

Will you just hold still so I can laser you!?

You'll never take me alive!

You might have heart worms!

I might not!

You might have fleas!

I haven't scratched in weeks!

That's a lie and you know it!

(singing) # With a swish, swish here and a scrub, scrub there. It's time to clean up everywhere. So say goodbye to filth and grime, I'll clean this mess in double time. (Whistles) Well, it used to be a chore, but it isn't anymore when you've got the secret to a super clean floor. Now the dirt's all gone and it didn't take long when you sing along to the clean up song. (Whistles) When you sing along to the clean up song! #

Great job, son. And now that the house is clean I'm gonna prepare a cleaning day feast.

Well, say all you like, but you gotta admit the song was catchy.

And now it's stuck, stuck, stuck in my head, head, head! ARGH!

Ok! Calm down, down, down! It'll wear off.

(singing) # And it's my dog I grab and I take him to the lab!#

Kitty!

No Johnny, That's not a Neighbor's Cat, That's a Garbage Truck. Johnny, Kitties are Fluffy, And Evil, And... [Dukey looked Shocked] Where's Johnny? Johnny?

Kitty! Kitty!

You had to Erase his Brain.

Susan

We were Trying to HELP!! Now Run, Dog, RUN!!!

Susan

The Theme-O'meter utilizes harmonic sequencing combined with brainwave alteration to evoke various cinematic atmospheres.

Can I get a science to English translation?

It's melodic frequencies adjust brain perception to create various filmic styles within reality.

Can I get an English to Johnny translation?

Susan

It makes real life just like a movie.

Well, Dukey, guess it's time for our last words.

Does horrified screaming count?!

I'm gonna go with yes.

Ok, so we need an ending. How do Horror movies end?

Everybody dies!

Romantic Musical?

Kissing!

I've had a good life. Let's stick with Horror.

(singing) #Johnny, what's going on? We're grooving to a crazy song! How long is it gonna last? I hope this movie theme moves fast! #

(singing) #We need a kiss to break this trance. Susan, won't you take this chance. Kiss Gil! #

Susan

Kiss Gil?! (singing) #No, I don't think I will. I'd sooner might choose death. Argh! Coz Gil's got werewolf breath!#

Well, there's gotta be a kiss soon. Coz I can't take much more of this corny musical... (singing) #Listen, Bling-Bling, here's my plan; kiss my sister be a man! #

Should've gone with the werewolf breath.

Whoa! That kid should deliver pizzas.