JAG Season 2 quotes

When awkwardness goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Bud's head.

Aw, Harm, it just takes him a little while to get warmed up.

Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac.

How would you know?

Admiral Chegwidden thinks I'm a pain-in-the-ass bureaucrat who should never have involved the Marines in the first place. And he was right.

Taking the blame, Webb? How unlike you.

If I hadn't involved the Marines, my ass would not be hanging over a very deep chasm right now, no offense, Major.

None taken. I hang asses frequently in my profession.

I flew with the CAG. I understand you earned that Distinguished Flying Cross saving his six.

I was saving my own six, sir, the CAG just happened to be in the same aircraft.

What they say about dress whites and gold wings?

Yeah?

Very overrated.

We'll see.

A little late, aren't you?

30, 35 seconds. Sorry about that.

He's only got 46 minutes.

How do you do that?

It's a Marine thing.

Major, the file you're looking for is…

I know where it is, Bud.

Yes ma'am, but its already..

It's 0939 and the flight doesn't leave until 1100, we have plenty of time, so relax! You're so nervous.

Yes ma'am. I'm just trying to point out to you that file you're looking for is...

There it is! For heaven sakes' Bud, it was right in front of you.

Yes, ma'am. How about that.

You'd follow Captain Koonan to hell.

And back, ma'am. He'd get us back.

I got to admire your restraint, Gunny. You held off decking that jerk for a good two, maybe three seconds.

Man, I don't remember it hurting this much.

Don't tell me you're out of practice, Gunny?

You know, it's getting harder and harder to find a good bar fight.

There is only one thing I want to know.

Sir?

How did the men perform?

Outstanding, sir.

How can that be, Gunnery Sergent Post? My men ended up in the brig. Did you see any rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?

Not one Ranger, sir.

Rangers are in sickbay, sir.

I see. How do you feel about that, First Sergeant?

I'm appalled by their conduct, sir.

The First Sergeant and I are appalled, Gunny.

Yes sir I thought you would be sir.

It is the custom to salute an officer.

(salutes) Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship.

Not as much as you're loving your new infantry career.

How do you train men for war, Mac?

You can't have a war if your Marines are dead before the damn thing starts.

Sometimes it's better just to put an old guard dog down. He's more trouble than he's worth once he's outlived his usefulness.

You can always find some way to be useful, Chief.

And what am I supposed to do, sir? If I don't want to be a mercenary, what am I supposed to do? I can kill a man 18 different ways with my bare hands. I can break down 43 different assault rifles. I can jump out of a chopper going 30 knots 30 feet into a freezing ocean and swim all night to a submarine. But what am I supposed to do now?

"I hope I got the ribbons right."

Bud, if you were a girl I'd kiss you.

(laughs) Red light, Commander. Does this mean I get my Game Boy back?