Jackie Chan Adventures · Season 3
Tohru, you did not tell Uncle you invited Spider-Woman! [Jackie, succumbing to the snake venom, groggily falls into Uncle's arms] See? Even Jackie moans with displeasure at her arrival.
Uh, Jackie? Are you alright? Jackie? [holds up fingers] How many fingers do you see?
Uhhh... what's a Jackie?
[gasp] Jackie has been bitten by snake!
These strange men, they appeared out of thin air!
They used to be men, now they're card-carrying members of the Forces of Darkness.
Stop them Tohru! [Tohru growls, ready to fight, only to be held back by his mother]
My baby will NOT fight Forces of Darkness!
Uh, maybe we should get Jackie to a doctor.
We must find snake before Dark Forces do, then Uncle will cure Jackie.
Ah, do not worry, I once television program about cobra poisoning. Jackie only at stage one: very slight dryness of mouth.
[affixing cloth to his forehead] Y'arrr matey!
Stage two?
Stark-raving madness.
Yo-ho-ho! [begins dancing]
Luckily stage two very brief.
Mother means well, but sometimes I think she forgets that I am a grown man.
Uh, very grown. When she gets in your face, tell her to give you some space.
She would just take it the wrong way. [sigh] I love her, but sometimes I wish mother would just disappear.
[eavesdropping while invisible] Oh? Be careful what you wish for, Tohru.
[holding the imposter snake] I know three Dark Warriors who are finally about to make Daolon Wong a happy wizard.
Let's not be hasty. This snake can make us invisible.
We can sneak into any movie we want for free!
[clears throat] If old crazy eyes can't see us, we can sneak up and stomp the Chi out of him.
And force him to turn us back into our normal old selves!
Yeah! [they grab the snake]
Talisman power, on!
[nothing happens]
Hey, I can still see you guys.
Uh, 'cause we're all invisible?
Ohhhhh...
I was never any good at science.
Tohru Nobody touches my mommy!
Bah bah black sheep, have you any magic?
Big-D!
Hiya!
We're pumped for round two!
I have no further use for those who allow themselves to be waylaid by unconscious livestock!
So... we're free to go?
[in a shepherd's dream]
Tasty grub you're serving here laddie, though it's not as filling as the real McCoy. Say, what's this I hear about shaving me in winter?
[surrounded by Shadowkhan] Uh, you wouldn't hit a guy wearing glasses, would you?
[surrounded by dream Shadowkhan]
Might I request bagpipes be played at our dream funeral, lassie?
[gets an idea] Oh no! The Loch Ness Monster!
[a purple monster suddenly appears and defeats the Shadowkhan]
Didn't think that thing existed.
[finding Jackie and Jade's unconscious bodies] Jackie! No sleeping! [cuffs Jackie to no response] No "Ow"?
Uncle! We're right here!
Hello? He can't see or hear you!
Then how will he know where we are?
[gasp] Daolon Wong now possesses the power of Astral Projection which he has inflicted upon Jackie and Jade and then applied a finishing spell so that they cannot return to their bodies!
... And you doubted him.
[in possession of Jackie's body] Uncle you rock! Now let's find Daolon Wong and kick some shriveled- Aah! [noticing her body] Why are there two of me?
[in possession of Jade's body] Why is your voice coming out of my body?!
[both scream in shock]
I told you Spell complicated...
[in possession of Jade's body] There is only one way inside. [coming to a dead end, he tries to wall-jump up to a window, but his short stature holds him back] Eh, I forgot who I wasn't...
[in possession of Jackie's body] Trying to do this, Jackie? [wall jumps up to the window with ease] Cool, huh?
Jade is better at being you than you, Jackie.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
