“The Jade Monkey” quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Drew

Hey Jade, is your Uncle Jackie gonna wow the class about... [chuckles] the secret agent business?

Jade

You bet, Drew. And the truth is gonna blow your mind.

Drew

Oh, you mean the truth about ninjas, magic talismans, that four hundred pound giant named Tofu?

Jade

His name is...[Tohru suddenly burts through the wall] ...Tohru. [Ratso and Finn follow Tohru holding a bound and gagged Jackie and Uncle] Jackie! Uncle!

Tohru

Jade, hand over the talismans.

Finn

Or we chop down your family tree.

Jade

You guys are the ones going down. [kicks Finn] Hyah! Hyah! [punches Ratso, Tohru charges her and is kicked to the floor] Hyah!

Drew

I'm sorry I doubted you, Jade!

Ms. Hartman

No homework for the rest of the year! [the kids cheer wildly]

Ms. Hartman

Jade! Jade! Jade!

Ms. Hartman

If you're through daydreaming, could you tell us the capital of Italy?

Jade

Uh...Pizza? Heh, heh.

Drew

[To Jade] So much for "Secret Agent" man.

Jackie

Uh, question?

Jade

Jackie, tell us about the time you whooped a bunch of Shadowkhan on the roller coaster at Melvin World!

Jackie

That's a bit off topic, Jade. [Jade groans] Now, once an artifact is unearthed-

Jade

Really! He tanned their ninja hides! He's got amazing reflexes! Watch! [Takes an apple from her lunch and throws it at Jackie]

Jackie

Ow!

Ms. Hartman

Jade has quite an imagination, doesn't she, Mr. Chan?

Jackie

Heh, heh. Yes, she does. And a good throwing arm too.

Jade

Oh, Jackie! [holds up the Talisman]

Jackie

You've gotta be kidding me.

Jade

It's the Monkey Talisman! Must be a Sea Monkey!

Jackie! Jackie! [Jackie wakes up] Jackie, you are shipwrecked.

Jackie

[dazed] Yes, Uncle. Shipwrecked.

One more thing. Jade has the Monkey Talisman.

Jackie

Jade's a good girl.

One more thing. Bad men are chasing her. She needs your help. Now! [whacks him in the head]

Jackie

Jade? Jade? Ja-? [Notices a feeding giraffe] A giraffe? We drifted all the way to Africa?!