IZombie · Season 1
[first lines]
[Liv talks to Ravi on the phone while organizing his house] I'm here, Ravi. You were late so I let myself in with the hide-a-key. I did the living room, but I can't tackle the kitchen or the closet until you get back from the store. How bad is traffic? Okay you better hurry, because this Type A brain won't last forever. No, this is all wrong, I need to break this down by genre. Bye.
Questioning. You know how this works. You work for the police.
The people I work with usually don't speak much.
I can bring you a brain in return in a couple days.
[Don E. smiles] It's not brain friends, Liv, it's brain business.
You did hear the part about the apocalypse, didn't you?
Sure did. That's what's called leverage. I'd think preventing the end of the world is worth 25 grand.
So, these victims aren't even dead? Major didn't kill them?
And he did all this to protect Liv?
Yeah.
So Drake is still alive?
Frozen and, as discussed, a zombie, but yes...
The bodies. Where are they? [Major remains quiet] Brooding expressions don't show up on tape. Use your words.
You think I killed these people? Why would I? You think I'm some sort of kill-the-rich nut-job?
I don't know. Are you?
You saved both of our lives.
Maybe we don't report it. And we, uh... We, we smuggle the body out, and dump it in the bay.
Is that what you do? Dump it in the bay by the cover of darkness?
Wait. No... Right. I'll just turn myself in.
[Brant Stone chuckles] Detective, I don't even know where to begin. The constitution, maybe? Arresting my client again after he's just been charged? That is textbook cruel and unusual. I mean, look at him. Look at my client. He looks like a... day-old dog dump. No offense.
That's come up a lot. Brains. Missing brains. Brains in people's freezers. Here's my theory. There's some kind of weird brain cult out there. They killed some of your kids, you went after them.
[Brant Stone chuckles before looking over to Major] Okay, can we just get Jules Verne in here? Because I'm only licensed to practice law in this dimension. What the hell is he talking about? Don't answer that.
Brant Stone. You can call me Mr. Stone, or Washington State Defense Lawyer of the Year Brant Stone, or don't call me anything at all, since... It'll be me doing most of the talking. This case is Oscar the Grouch's dream house. It's a pile of garbage, okay? A serial murder case with no bodies. Ha! So, best case scenario, I call my good friend Federal Judge Danny Hersh, the ol' Hershey bar, he throws this case into the Puget Sound.
Worst case?
[Stone whispers] Depends. Did you do it? [Major doesn't answer] Naw, I'm kidding.
What can we expect? A new generation of Super Max fueled super-soldiers, making the world's hotspots safe for capitalism, hmm?
Don't worry your pretty head about it. I'll sign over the billion dollar check as soon as I'm sure that the product isn't getting blamed for a certain serial killer's actions. I don't want your dirty laundry becoming my dirty laundry.
Always with figurative language, this one.
Your case seems pretty damn solid. Wonder twin powers?
[as the two lock fists together, smiling, imitating explosion noises as they pull fists away]
Tell us where we can find the bodies. Give the victims some closure.
He can't tell you that. My boy has no idea. And you have 30 hours to either charge him or let him go. Guard! Now if you don't mind, I need to get back to my office and rub ointment on my Shiba Inu's ass, 'cause some breeder sold me a $1000 dog with mange. So, if you're looking for a real criminal to go after... Take my client back to jail.
[Ravi clears his throat] I... actually... wanted to ask you about, a um... video game thing.
Video game?
I'm playing that zombie game we play? And I'm stuck. Um, and I have to get to the, uh, frozen zone... Where everything's frozen.
What game is this?
Zombie... Town?
[Major looks at the guard over his shoulder] Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Zombie Town.
Yeah. I need to find the frozen zombies to beat the level, but I don't know how to get there.
Right. Right. Um, the frozen zone. Okay, what you have to do, is go to the edge of water... world.
Edge of Water World?
Yeah. On 15th. Level. 15th level.
[Blaine looks through his fridge for brains to lend to Liv]
Brains. Brains. The magical food. The more you eat, the more less brood.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's IZombie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
