A character in It's Pony
Played by Josh Zuckerman
It's Pony · 56 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in It's Pony: in 43 of its 56 quotes
Most scenes with: Annie Bramley (39), George Bramley (11), Heston (4)
[Ramiro is shopping for chocolates]
Okay, there she is. Just go ask her.
PonyNo, he can't do that. Haven't you ever seen a romance movie? It has to just happen. [to Gravlax] Go bump into her, and then when you're helping her pick everything up, gaze in her eyes and ask her out.
Okay, if you say so.
I don't know about this, Pony.
PonyTrust me, Annie. In all my vampire romance novels, the vampire always gets the girl.
Ah. Kids, I got to tell you, this rope is giving me quite the wedgie.
PonyNow glide! Glide like the fog glides across the marsh on a dark October morning.
When am I supposed to ask her out on a date?
PonyYes. Good. Do that.
[Henrietta walks to Annie and Pony.]
Please don't say anything. I feel bad enough.
About what? I owe you an apology. I loved your dad's speech. So inspiring. Now I know what I wanna be.
A farmer?
No way, I wanna be an internet sensation like your dad. [shows her a video of George, acting like a wild animal] It's got like a zillion hits.
[video] Pointy, pointy, pointer.
[Henrietta walks off]
PonyI told you I make everything better!
We’ve got to scare them off.
PonyScaring isn't the answer. Let’s be friendly.
I don’t have time for this. I have a party to set up.
Pony! Hey, Pony! The crow’s left the balco-
PonyShhh! We're trying to watch something in here.
What?!
PonyShhh!
What are they doing in here?
PonyI invited them in. See? No more crows on the balcony, and no scaring needed. Just the extended hoof of friendship. That one’s the leader. I call him Russell. They promised they’ll be out of here as soon as they finish watching Buddies. It’s their favorite show.
You're watching the Buddies marathon. Every episode of Buddies, ever. All 12 seasons, nonstop. All week long.
PonyOh.
No, no, no. We need them out of here before people show up for the party! Come on crows. Out! Uh! [grabs the remote] Give me that.
PonyMy last shot. Gotta make it count. Hey, Russell!
Oh, you did it! They’re gone!
PonyProblem solved. All it took was the hoof of friendship… and every one of Dad’s pumpkins.
PonyHow many more?
Don't ask. Just scrub.
Pony[Reading a comic book zoomed in] Once, there was a city riddled with crime. Boom! Aah! [starts speaking in a criminal-like voice] "Hey, let's do crimes and stuff! Yeah! Take that, lady! But–" [gasps] Who's this? [normal voice] He's a cop. He's a dad. He's Cop Dad! On his rocket-powered llama.
[The scene zooms out to normal]
Cop Dad doesn't ride a rocket-powered llama.
PonyHe does in the comics.
Okay, sure, but he doesn't in any movies.
PonyHe might in the new one.
Yeah. (That's right.) It starts in half an hour. We should probably go.
Pony[holding a paper] Cop Dad is so cool.
Imagine having parents that cool.
[George can be seen coming in the kitchen wearing a robe with a pickle sandwich in his hand, the pickle drops out and falls on the floor. Annie and Pony stare at him.]
[looks] What?
Nope, never gonna happen.
You sure about that?
[Annie and Pony turn around to find Helen dressed in a neighborhood watch vest. Annie and Pony gasping happily.]
It's our slow season, so I thought I'd find some excitement and danger. This city needs a hero, and that's me, dishing out justice and mopping up crime.
It's the neighborhood watch, Helen, not the SWAT team.
Oh, you're just jealous I got the gig and you didn't.
Jealous? I've got a hot bath and a pickle sandwich. What could be better than that?
See you later, kids. I've got streets to keep clean. [steps out the room and then pops back in] Clean of crime in case that wasn't clear.
Pony[amazed] Wow. Okay, let's go to the movies.
No, no, no, no, no. Why go see "Cop Dad" when we've got the real thing?
Officer (Pony)[off-screen] It's over, Half-Pint Harry and Noodleneck Ned! Come out with your hands up!
Harry, we're surrounded. We're coming out!
What? Who's out there? [Noodleneck Ned opens the door]
There's everything, Harry. There's cops. There's cops in cars. Cops on rocket-powered llamas!
Rocket-powered llamas? Cops don't ride rocket-powered llamas. It's a trick! [Ned squints his eyes and begins to see the cops as just graffiti, Harry then stares at them on the wall] They're all just lousy pictures. What's the matter with you?
I don't have my glasses. They wouldn't fit over my mask.
[Facepalms] Ugh! Come on, let's get outta here.
[Both of them attempt to run off, but they both pulled by some tape used by Helen, and fall to the ground]
Wow!
[Singing] Cop Mom!
Annie?
Hey, Mom. [They both run to each other]
Wow, Annie. Your mom really is cool.
I never needed to fake anything to show how cool you are.
Well, maybe now you'll realize parents can be cool.
[runs away] That's what you think! You'll never take me in, Cop Mom! [tries to run off, but ends up slipping on the pickle from earlier]
[can be seen coming in pick it up] Ha, ha, ha! [puts it back in his sandwich, sighs, about to eat it, but stops suddenly] Huh? [Everyone glances at George in the distance] What? (Why are you guys looking at me like that?)
Come on, you're taking forever.
PonyFound it.
That's the first one you tried on.
PonyOh, maybe. I should–
No, no, no. That one's perfect.
PonyOkay.
Come on, let's go.
PonySnow fun, here we come.
Ha, it's Pony. What's he doing?
Who (knows or) cares? Load up. Hey, Pony! Eat snow!
PonyCold thunder!
Look at that. I'm telling you, this is going to be a disaster.
PonyOh, squirrel. They have feet?
Don't be mean, Henrietta. You can't just appear out of nowhere being all negative.
I think I just did. [clapped back]
Well, you shouldn't. Pony doesn't always mess up. He's my enthusiastic buddy who– [a bunch of squirrels and cement fell on Pony]
You were saying?
[annoyed] Ugh, do you mind?
PonyYes, could you please go back to Chapter 1?
No, get your own copy.
We tried! Pony used the money for a harmonica and now they're sold out!
Not my problem.
Come on, I'm desperate to read it. I'll pay you. How much?
I don't want your money.
You must want something! What about a trade?
[Pony gets out his harmonica, but it has slobber on it.]
Ugh, no!
PonyWould you trade it for a pony ride? [whispers to Annie as she rolled her eyes] You may have to dress up like a pony.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Pony pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
