There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you're both!
Wow, That's my dad everyone!
“The Gang Runs for Office” · Season 2, Episode 8
In this episode: Dennis Reynolds (2), Charlie Kelly (1), Mac McDonald (1), Sweet Dee Reynolds (1), Frank Reynolds (1)
LLady
Are you going to take care of the crime problem here?
Absolutely, I say we put them on buses and ship them over to Iraq.. make them fight the terrorists.
LLady
You're very handsome.
Thank you ha ha.
This is going very, very well man.
I know people are really responding to me.
They love the bone structure.
[walking up to them] I've been looking for you guys everywhere...Look. I've been thinkin'...and I feel like I could be a real asset to you guys. I wanna help.
What? Wait, wait, so first you wash your hands in politics and now you want back in? That's called flip-flopping, Mac! That's what Democrats do.
Hang on a second Charlie, let's give the guy a chance to prove himself.
Yeah, yeah. Give me a chance...what should I do?
"What should I do"? Strike one, buddy.
You gotta bring something to the table, Mac.
All right...ah...check this out. [Goes up to woman pushing her baby in a stroller] Excuse me, hi. I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby.
WWoman
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, I was wondering, [stopping the stroller from moving] if you wouldn't mind if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it.
WWoman
Excuse me?
Yeah...oh. I'm sorry. He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool.
WWoman
You know, I'd rather not.
[stopping the stroller again] Yeah, well you know...it's...good for him and it's good for you, so I think you should maybe just give me the baby.
WWoman
You know what? Please leave me alone.
OK, lady. Just give me the baby and I could get it over with as quickly as possible.
WWoman
I said no!
Goddammit, just give me the baby! [tries to unbuckle the baby out of the stroller]
WWoman
Somebody help me!
This is campaign suicide, dude...
Let's get out of here.
Charlie You got that script that I wrote? Grab that script.
I've been meaning to speak to you about this. I can't read these words. They're not in the right order.
Charlie It's good.
I think you might be dyslexic, bro. I'm not reading this.
Charlie No, no, no, please read it.
I think you might be dyslexic bro.
Charlie Just read the script once.
Okay you want me to read the script?
Charlie Yes. And action.
I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower. Son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do." This doesn't make any sense!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.