I don't know, maybe I should just pick a bar, down some shots and do some cowboy.
MarshallUh huh.
Marshall
If you feel like you need to get something out of your system. If you need to go do some cowboy.
Marshall
You've done the cowboy. And when you weren't doing the cowboy, you were the cowboy, like with Raph. You don't need to let off steam, what you need is I get that you don't like messy, but maybe messy is what you need. Maybe instead of just anyone you should be looking for someone. Someone who challenges you, who calls you on your BS and gets in your face and makes you think. [pauses] What?
I've got a going away present for the priest. I've got the gift of Gabe!
Marshall
Hilarious. You know, giving gifts to witnesses isn't really allowed.
Yeah. A) No kidding, B) Gabe opted out of WitSec, and C) What's it like for a pussycat to walk around in people clothes?
Marshall
I'm impressed.
Marshall
You seem to be following a direct order.
[scoffs] I always follow a direct order. Unless, you know, it's stupid.
Marshall
I'm also impressed you seem to be rolling with change. It's not something at which you are adept.
Hey, I'm adept at change! I mean, did I not go on vacation with Faber? No one, including me, thought I could vacate, and I vacated!
Marshall
During the so-called vacation you convinced Faber to go make things work with his ex-wife and kids, which proves my thesis that you prefer a known situation that's deeply flawed to an unknown situation potentially free of flaws.
[stroking a car] Oh, man, it's the same color!
Marshall
Angry aubergine.
I searched for it far and wide. Found it at a used car dealer in Resolute, Kentucky. The dealer didn't want to sell it because he said he believed in God and he was sure it was a sin to make money off this, and I'm quoting, chariot of Satan.
Marshall
It has one hundred and forty thousand miles on it!!
It's road tested. Durable!
Marshall
Or as seen through another lens, a candidate for the junkyard!
Look, Mary, there's no reason for you to regress back into a Probe. Let me put you into a new loaner.
The only reason I'm back in the loaner is because of Mr. Headroom, here.
Marshall
The Probe is a known situation that is deeply flawed.
Or, seen through another lens, bite me.
Marshall
Your claws are showing.
They don't retract. I gotta tell you, I am both annoyed and impressed that you kept this little relationship a secret from me.
Marshall
Keeping secrets is part and parcel of our chosen profession.
Only the cheerleader doesn't seem your type.
Marshall
I defy you to categorize the women I've dated as belonging to one specific type. If anyone, it is you who has a deeply ingrained pattern to your romantic involvements.
Right. Yeah. Okay. Dominican ball player and divorcee FBI agent. Peas in a pod, those two.
Marshall
Both Raph and Faber believe that no matter how tough and independent a woman is, underneath it all, she wants a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. That's why you didn't marry Raph and Faber went back to sort things out with his ex-wife and 2.5 kids.
What are you saying? My type is guys that don't get me?
Marshall
In point of fact, your type is guys that you don't get don't get you. But this only applies to long-term relationships. Short-term, you will your words, not mine drop jeans with just about anyone.
Marshall
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
Don't talk like that. What's your point?
Marshall
Your mom is well ensconced at teaching ballet, your sister is engaged, and despite your underlying belief in her guilt it turns out she was free of complicity in the car theft. The questions is, what does the protective lioness do without anyone to protect?
All right, fess up. Is something going on between you two? You having a fling or something?
JJimmy
I'm not having a fling.
Then, what? Don't tell me you've been in love with her since high school or something.
JJimmy
No. Since I was nine, actually.
[...]
Marshall
Let me get this straight. Your whole life you've loved one woman?
JJimmy
It's not like I didn't date. I had girlfriends. I even almost got engaged once. But ever since that first kiss in Winnie's bedroom window, no one's ever measured up.
Of course no one's measured up. You never got together. It's all just fantasy. Moonlit nights and ice cream cones. What actual girlfriend stands a chance?
JJimmy
It's not fantasy. It wasn't. I know this girl. We grew up together. We did homework together, we went to movies opening day, we shared a limo to the prom. I was even in her wedding.
[...]
Hey, what'd you mean before, you were in her wedding?
JJimmy
I was the man of honor.
Man of honor? That's not an oxymoron?
Marshall
Technically, no.
Hmm. Okay. It's a something-moron, though, I'm pretty sure.
Guy spends his whole life devoted to one woman who, P.S., married someone else. You know what we call that?
Marshall
Classically romantic?
DPDelia Parmalee
I'm with Marshall. Sounds like the best romantic comedy ever.
Marshall
Don't get her started on rom-coms!
Don't get me started on rom-coms! Talk about a waste of time. Hey, Harry! Hey, Sally! Opposites attract! We hate each other, but not really. Yeah, I get it. Just save me the two hours of 'I'll have what she's having' and fess up now so I can get one with my life and back to the grownups table.
DDelia
It sounds like someone could use a trip from Mr. Cupid.
Marshall
Don't get her started on Cupid.
I hate that fat little Valentine's baby.
Six?! Six sessions?! I got abducted and I was back in four, and one of them was lunch!
Marshall
Shelly thinks it's related to how protective I am of the women in my life.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. She said that? [watches as Marshall nods] Oh, boy.
Marshall
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that?
Come on, Marshall. All those dates you and Finkle went on?
Marshall
We had a date, it was coffee, and her ex called in the middle weeping, so technically.
She just got out of a messy breakup.
Marshall
Gordon. Delia is seriously dialed in.
And now she has you on the couch for wall to wall sessions and some not so subtle romantic recon. Wake up, pal! You're not a patient. You're her hostage.
Marshall
She does seem to focus on you and Abigail a lot.
Yeah, speaking of, how the hell's you go from slumber party pillow-talk to breaching the veil of WITSEC?
Marshall
Nobody breached the veil of WITSEC. Abigail is a detective, a good one. She detected. And, as I recall, you told Raph.
Yeah, and, as I recall, we were engaged. He was my fiance, not some JV cops-and-robbers play date.
Marshall
I didn't tell her.
Marshall
Fine.
Marshall
So, come on, what do you think?
I think this is the beginning of the end of a beautiful friendship.
Marshall
Mary, I need you to know something.
What? What do you need me to know?
Marshall
You run around, passing notes back and forth, you got 'em in a room together, you got 'em into WITSEC together. You don't hate cupid. You are cupid.
Marshall
And so what begins?
Extreme Makeover: The Marshall Mann edition. She zeroed in on what needs fixing, I'm telling you. Don't get me wrong, I like Abigail, I do.
Marshall
You hide it well.
But you know the type. She's a fixer. Trust me, aside from late night cramming for her SATs, that girl will not rest till she's completely changed you.
Hey, how'd you meet Abigail?
Marshall
Good morning.
Marshall
At the Joint Task Force briefing.
Exactly. See? You just gave me the headline, not every single detail like Karl and Sharon did last night.
Marshall
You saying it was rehearsed?
I was just with Delia and the others, and across the board they matched Sharon the drug dealer with Sharon the PTA mom. That little beauty mark is killing us.
Marshall
We've got to stop that documentary from airing.
I was thinking the exact same thing, but not to worry. I got this.
Marshall
[smiles] John Wayne mode.
[laughs] Ha! Even better! Godfather mode.
You wear many hats?! Don't tee up the bald jokes for us, Stan. It takes the fun out of it.
In Plain Sight · 332 quotes
