Now, I want you all to write a 10-page essay on the Louisiana purchase.
Um, we haven't even gotten to that chapter yet.
Too bad! Sometimes, things happen you're not prepared for!
But how are we suppose to write an essay on something you haven't taught us about yet?
I don't need your sass, Carly Shay.
Sass? Look, it's not fair to make us write 10 pages --
Let's make it 15 pages, yeah, that's right! Ow... I'm gonna go get some aspirin. Start reading chapter whatever. [leaves]
Her boyfriend must have dumped her hard.
No kidding. The lady is losing it.
Sometimes I'm bold, but I'm never sassy!
Freddie, why aren't you reading chapter whatever?
Oh, um, 'cause I dropped my textbook in the bathtub last night.
Of course. You men are all the same. You lose interest in your textbook and then you just dump it in your filthy bath water!
Ms. Ackerman, you don't need to yell at Freddie in front of the whole class.
Oh, look! More back talk from the sass master!
I am NOT the sass master! And it's wrong for you to be mean to Freddie just 'cause your boyfriend broke up with you!
Wow, Carls. Maybe you are the sass master.
Now you go straight to the principal's office!
Oh, hey! I uh, just got the new cable for the-- (sees Ms. Ackerman in her red dress) Whoa!
Hey, Freddie, what are you doing here?
I was just uh, coming over to help work on the web show... with Carly... WHOA!
Okay, why don't we go upstairs before you start drooling. (pushes him upstairs)
(while being pushed, he repeatedly looks at Ms. Ackerman) Sick.
And if the vote says that we shouldn't be together... [to Spencer] THEN I HATE YOU! AND THE INTERNET! [she angrily takes her purse, opens the door, pushes a small vase on the floor and leaves]
Okay. What was the point of all this? Now she's just gonna be mean and vicious to you guys at school.
Lot of people watch iCarly.
We make sure certain specific people watch.
[suspiciously] You guys are up to something, and [alarmed] I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT IT IS! [runs off]
[camera swaps to Lauren's classroom]
I hope you haven't made any plans for this weekend, 'cause you're all gonna be up to your eyeballs in homework.
And today you will write 1,000 words on why men are dirty, rotten, stinktaitious, ungrateful, aw-- [she gets interrupted by FBI Agents]
F1FBI Agent 1
Lauren Ackerman?
Yes? Who are you, people?
F2FBI Agent 2
You're under arrest. [he grabs her hands to handcuff her]
F1FBI Agent 1
For 500 counts of illegally downloading music on the internet.
[the iCarly gang smiles]
F1FBI Agent 1
Yes, we do. Ma'am? [Carly throws the pear pod to him, and he shows it to her teacher] I believe all the proof we need is on this pear pod.
F2FBI Agent 2
And you admitted it last night on those kids' web show.
F1FBI Agent 1
Which we recorded.
[the FBI agents take her away and the class cheers while the iCarly gang high fives each other]
Yeah, we should probably tell principal Franklin that our teacher's been arrested.
Or we could go ice skating! [the class cheers and pack up as they go outside their classroom]
Is everybody okay? What was that crash?
We're fine. The elevator just dropped nine floors to the basement.
HHal
Yeah. How would I get down there?
[sarcastically] I don't know. I guess the stairs.
HHal
Can you show me the stairs?
Yeah, if you promise not to fix 'em.
Did you feel his arm muscles?
You didn't feel his arm muscles!
[speaking very fast] Yes, I did, too! He told me that he can beat his dad in arm wrestling, and I said, "No way," and he said, "Oh, no, it's true," and I said, "Wow, you must be really strong," and he said, "Well, I work out a little bit," and I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yeah, you wanna feel my biceps?" And I said, "Sure, I do," and so I felt them, and they felt awesome.
I have a date with Shane tonight!
What's that supposed to mean?
Why don't you ask your new helping bra?!
(gasps) That's it! I'm out of here! (Carly walks out, walks back in) This is my house!
(Sam walks out)
(defensively) There's nothing wrong with a little help.
This has nothing to do with Consuela!
Yes, it does! And I'm not leaving this room until you-- (sparks come out of the computer) AH! I'm going downstairs! (she runs, the computer sparks again, she screams and she goes out the door)
Carly... (sparks come out again) AHHHH!
I did what you said. I shaved, I took a shower, I mailed that movie back to Webflix, I-
[The elevator opens to reveal Sasha Striker]
Who's the girl in the sexy purple tank top?
