And what did he mean, "You'd rue the day"?
Yeah, what does rue mean?
I got it, right here. "Roux: A mixture of fats and flour used to make sauces and soups."
[perplexed] Nevel called you a fat flour?
Try spelling it differently.
Okay, here. "Rue: To regret. To wish that something had never been done."
You know what this means.
Of course. He's gonna make me regret shoving tapenade in his face by trashing iCarly on his stupid website.
[shrugs in despair] We're dead.
[touches her cheek] I'm gonna go scrub his creepy lip residue off my cheek.
Hey, why isn't it cold in here? Toasty the Baker. GOOD GOD! [runs to his sculpture along with Sam and Freddie and screams] TOASTY!
[about Spencer's melted butter sculpture] Gross, it's like a giant baby threw up.
I told you not to turn the heat up!
It's too late for apologies.
It's OK. It's OK. I just need a mop and a bucket and 20 more pounds of butter!
Mrs. Benson. Freddie, your mom's here.
I came over because I heard screaming. Freddie, are you all right?
He's fine. But I really got to
Do you know he's allergic to fruit?
[sarcastically, to Freddie] Aw, who's got a fruit problem?
Not me. I am not allergic to fruit!
Well, what if you were? He'd probably give you an orange and then your face would puff up.
Look, I gave him no fruit. Now, please, I'm out of butter--
False! I saw you come home yesterday carrying grocery bags filled with butter.
No, I just happened to be glancing through my peephole.
That butter's gone and so am I.
What have you done with all that butter? Freddie, I want you to take a bubble bath tonight. Spencer!
I didn't give him any fruit!
[Sam enters the building listening to music]
Ohh, great! She's gonna see my costume and insult me nineteen different ways.
[Sam walks up and sees Freddie in his witch costume. She takes the earphones out of her ears and looks up and down at Freddie's costume. Freddie looks at Sam as if saying "Well?" However, she shakes her head.]
Well, we're sorry we went in here without permission. But when we saw this furniture…
We thought it was too old and gross for anyone to actually use.
Okay, wait. Something still doesn't make sense. Why did Lewbert tell us that no one lived here?
LLewbert
Cause I'm a jerk! Ha, ha, ha, I got you kids good! Score one for Lewbert! Happy Hannukah!
[Lewbert splutters incoherently]
[Spencer walks in Apartment 8-C, drenched with pumpkin guts from the pumpkin]
And this is Carly's brother, Spencer.
Any words for our viewers before we sign off?
[Spencer walks toward the camera]
[to camera] Never forget to buy candy on Halloween.
Now, I'm going to show you the latest piece of equipment that's going to blow you guys away.
You buy yourself a robot girlfriend?
I don't need a robot girlfriend. Because in 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be Carly's second husband.
What happened to my first husband?
It's a teeny video camera disguised as a piece of pie! [takes out a giant plastic piece of pie with a very conspicuous camera lens on it. Carly and Sam laugh]
Yeah, who wouldn't that fool?
Yeah. Like a real piece of pie with a camera lens on the side!
Look, it comes with a giant fork! [holds up the fork]
Give it! [snatches fork back] This is a quality piece of spy equipment!
My Aunt Maggie's boobs look more real than that. And they're ridiculous.
[Spencer persuades his date Connie to juggle, who starts to do so just as Freddie catches his attention with the fake pie]
Don't mind me, I'm just a guy having some pie!
Hey, is that one of those pie-spy video cameras?
CConnie
Oh, yeah, they were talking about those on the Food Channel... Or was it the Spy Channel?
You know, I think it was the Spy Channel.
I don't know what you guys are talking about! This is just a normal piece of pie that doesn't record anything!
But there's a big lens on the side.
[frustrated] Oh, just forget it! [goes back upstairs]
[Carly and Freddie are spying on Ms. Briggs with the fake pie in tow at her house and decide that she is boring, so they decide to leave, but just as they turn to walk away, a bee flies around them]
[waving his arms to shoo the bee away] Hey, go away! Get out of here!
You don't understand; I am extremely allergic to bees! Get out of here, you stupid bee! I think he wants my pie!
That is a stupid bee. [Freddie hands Carly the fake pie, runs, falls over, gets up and runs for the entrance to Ms. Briggs' house to flee from the bee] Where are you going?
I can't get stung! [he goes inside]
Are you insane?! Get out of Ms. Briggs' apartment! You can't just... [the bee continues to fly all around her as she waves her arms to get the bee to fly away] Get away! It's a fake pie! Can't you see the big lens on the side?! [she drops the pie and runs inside] It's a fake pie!
Leave me alone, Sam! Sam? What are you gonna--? [Sam pushes Freddie out of the room. He crawls to the other room, while Carly and Sam follow him. He gets up] That was assault!
Why are you quitting iCarly?
Well, 'cause-- 'Cause maybe I don't like the way Sam treats me!
Yeah, she's always putting me down, and calling me mean names, and every time I get an ice cream cone, she takes it and she licks it! She just licks it all over the place, just to bug me!
Great. Now what's the real reason?
Okay. Valerie wants to do a web show, and she asked me to be her tech producer.
So you're just gonna ditch iCarly for another web show?
That's competing against us?
Valerie's my girlfriend. What am I supposed to do?
[bluntly] Dump the chick! How about that?
You know, you guys were the ones who talked me into going out with her in the first place, and now I'm the bad guy?
Look, Freddie, you better just--
Stop. He's right. He should help his girlfriend.
Thanks. And I wasn't gonna leave you guys with no help. I got you guys a new tech producer. If you want him.
He's really good with the tech stuff.
Uh... We were down for about 4 seconds.
Well... that's not a problem, right?
MMarilyn
I'm sorry, guys. To break the world record, your webcast had to be continuous.
[Carly, Freddie and Sam complain]
Haven't you ever heard of the five second rule?
MMarilyn
That's for eating food off the floor.
Well, I feel that that rule could apply here nicely.
MMarilyn
I'm really sorry.
Freddie, what do you think went wrong?
I'm not sure, but I'd bet my whole month's allowance that all of my equipment was working perfectly!
Ooh, you'd bet a whole $8?
Your mom only gives you $8 a month?
She's afraid that if she gives me more, I'll buy a bus ticket and leave her.
