Meldrick Lewis quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Lewis

So remember kids: don't just say "no" to drugs, say "no, thank you"!

Lewis

New rule. If we have a suspect in custody, it's murder. And if the suspect is unknown, it's the worst case of suicide I've ever seen. Huh? That's my new rule. I think it's going to make us all very happy.

Lewis

If a Jamaican drug dealer falls in an alley and there's no one there to hear him, does he make a sound?

Lewis

No way, no how, nobody's gonna beat my partner down like that, take her weapon, and use it to shoot up my lid. I ain't gonna hear that.

Lewis

[Addressing a dance club full of West Indians] I'm Homicide. I'm workin' on a murder of a young brother who was killed this afternoon in an alley off the Heights. Now, I know what the talk is. I know a lot of people 'round the way are sayin' that maybe the police did this, maybe the police killed that boy. Well, I'm here to tell you right here, right now, I think that just might be true. And because I think that might be true, me and my partner was up on a house on Homeland Avenue lookin' for a witness, we were lookin' for somebody to tell us what might've happened to Paxton Smart. And if that witness up and puts in a police officer for killin' that young brother, then so be it. That's what we was workin' on when my partner got her ass kicked and her gun took. That sister was beat by a black man. And she's up in a hospital right now, coughin' up blood. Now one of two things can happen here. Number one, that gun comes back. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but tonight. And number two, we ain't never gonna see that weapon again. And if that's the case, every policeman in the world is gonna come down to lower Park Heights, and y'all gonna wish you had never heard of Baltimore, Maryland. That gun comes back to me, or my crew is gonna give y'all crew a real reason to riot. Hear me, I want that gun.

Lewis

[to Sheppard] I got you covered. [Hands her her gun]

Lewis

[to Bayliss] You've been around this dump for seven years and you still ain't learned the key to good murder police, which is this: Whatever you see, whoever's around you; you keep them at a distance. But not you. You come up on a crime scene, the first thing you wanna do is put a chalk outline around yourself.

Lewis

If I could just find this damn thing, I could go home.

Crosetti

Life is a mystery. Just accept it.

Lewis

You're in your own world Crosetti.

Crosetti

The quest for life…not finding…looking. I read about it in this book.

Lewis

Now since when did you ever read a book?

Crosetti

I read this book…an excerpt in this book.

Lewis

You said you read a book but you didn't read nothing but an excerpt.

Crosetti

It says you never find what you're looking for because the whole point is looking for it. You find it, it defeats its own purpose.

Lewis

Y'know you're in your own little world because don't no one wants to live in there with you.

Crosetti

You try to explain everything, but there are things you cannot explain.

Lewis

Y'know what you are? You are a little fat head guinea. A little Italian Salami-brain.

Crosetti

You'll regret that.

Lewis

Man, let's c'mon back tomorrow and look for this projectile.

Crosetti

All right.

Lewis

What's that?

Crosetti

I... it's a rosary, alright? I'm praying.

Lewis

Praying because you didn't break your hand?

Crosetti

I'm praying for Chris.

Lewis

Well that's fine praying for Chris, but you didn't even pray for yourself when you got shot.

Crosetti

You got toilet paper over there?

Lewis

No.

Crosetti

You got five ones for a five?

Lewis

I know this probably doesn't say much for me; but you're probably the closest thing I have to a best friend. So without further ado, I want you to see my baby.

Crosetti

Ohh, Meldrick.

Lewis

She's a beauty, huh?

Crosetti

I think she looks like an engine.

Lewis

Not just an engine, Crosetti. It's a high-riser, 427- overhead V-8 with dual Holley carbs. 600 horses of power, baby, she flies like the wicked witch of the West. I'm gonna hafta move to Nevada.

Crosetti

Hold on, let me see it again. Where are the doors and the tires?

Lewis

See, this is the petty-minded details. What you have in your hand is the heart and soul of the Cobra that I am building.

Crosetti

Let me tell ya. That doesn't play with me, see when you buy a house, you don't buy a pile of dirt with a toilet on top of it. You get 4 walls which constitutes a dwelling. You - if you look very closely - have squat here.

Lewis

See, you're makin' fun of me and I appreciate that; but what I have there is the foundation of a classic sportscar. What you have on your tie there is ink. [phone rings] Homicide, Detective Goodwrench.

Lewis

[Crosetti thinks a shooting death is a suicide] There's no note.

Crosetti

Maybe he wasn't the literary type.

Lewis

Alright, John. I got a couple of questions for you and I want you to answer absolutely and honestly.

Munch

Of course.

Lewis

Question #1. Have you ever been arrested for a felony or a misdemeanor?

Munch

No. Next.

Lewis

C'mon John. Think back. Think way back to the hazy days of the summer of love. Your callow youth.

Munch

Oh, yeah. -- No.

Lewis

John, this is very important, ok? The liquor board gets the report from the state police, so if you have any demons in your closet, now is the time to set them free.

Munch

Are you implying that in my college years I was engaged in activities of a criminal nature?

Lewis

Yes. Everybody knows you were a major pothead. C'mon, man. I don't care if you smoked the stuff, I don't even care if you sold it. What I need to know is, were you ever caught?

Munch

Never.

Lewis

Okay. Great.

Munch

Can I go now?

Lewis

I have a few more questions for you.

Munch

Can I have an attorney present?

Munch

This is just a stupid formality. We gotta go all the way down there just so some bureacrat, some puny bureacrat who's overfed and probably got bad skin, so he can feel important?

Lewis

Don't open your mouth.

Munch

Me? Open my mouth?

Lewis

No, no. Promise me. I gotta hear it from you. Say, I'll be good.

Munch

I promise I'll be good.

Lewis

Oh, and there's one other thing. Don't wear that tie with the little bhuddas on it. It's ugly.

Munch

And what's wrong with that tie?

Lewis

I wouldn't give directions to a guy wearing a tie like that.

Munch

Well, guess what? That just happens to be my lucky tie. I love that tie. Felicia gave me that tie.

Lewis

Well, there you go. I rest my case.

The other guy should be here.

Lewis

But we don't have to reschedule. I called ahead.

But it seems we have a little problem here.

Lewis

No, we don't. What you have there is everything. Signed, sealed and delivered.

Your pal has a conviction. Misdemeanor gambling from '84.

Munch

I don't... Wouldn't I remember that?

It's this other guy, Bayliss.