Steve Crosetti quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Crosetti

Either it's murder, or this library has a very strict overdue policy.

Lewis

If I could just find this damn thing, I could go home.

Crosetti

Life is a mystery. Just accept it.

Lewis

You're in your own world Crosetti.

Crosetti

The quest for life…not finding…looking. I read about it in this book.

Lewis

Now since when did you ever read a book?

Crosetti

I read this book…an excerpt in this book.

Lewis

You said you read a book but you didn't read nothing but an excerpt.

Crosetti

It says you never find what you're looking for because the whole point is looking for it. You find it, it defeats its own purpose.

Lewis

Y'know you're in your own little world because don't no one wants to live in there with you.

Crosetti

You try to explain everything, but there are things you cannot explain.

Lewis

Y'know what you are? You are a little fat head guinea. A little Italian Salami-brain.

Crosetti

You'll regret that.

Lewis

Man, let's c'mon back tomorrow and look for this projectile.

Crosetti

All right.

Lewis

What's that?

Crosetti

I... it's a rosary, alright? I'm praying.

Lewis

Praying because you didn't break your hand?

Crosetti

I'm praying for Chris.

Lewis

Well that's fine praying for Chris, but you didn't even pray for yourself when you got shot.

Crosetti

You got toilet paper over there?

Lewis

No.

Crosetti

You got five ones for a five?

Lewis

I know this probably doesn't say much for me; but you're probably the closest thing I have to a best friend. So without further ado, I want you to see my baby.

Crosetti

Ohh, Meldrick.

Lewis

She's a beauty, huh?

Crosetti

I think she looks like an engine.

Lewis

Not just an engine, Crosetti. It's a high-riser, 427- overhead V-8 with dual Holley carbs. 600 horses of power, baby, she flies like the wicked witch of the West. I'm gonna hafta move to Nevada.

Crosetti

Hold on, let me see it again. Where are the doors and the tires?

Lewis

See, this is the petty-minded details. What you have in your hand is the heart and soul of the Cobra that I am building.

Crosetti

Let me tell ya. That doesn't play with me, see when you buy a house, you don't buy a pile of dirt with a toilet on top of it. You get 4 walls which constitutes a dwelling. You - if you look very closely - have squat here.

Lewis

See, you're makin' fun of me and I appreciate that; but what I have there is the foundation of a classic sportscar. What you have on your tie there is ink. [phone rings] Homicide, Detective Goodwrench.

Lewis

[Crosetti thinks a shooting death is a suicide] There's no note.

Crosetti

Maybe he wasn't the literary type.

Giardello

Adena.

Crosetti

Hey hey hey.

Felton

Gee.

Giardello

Felton?

Crosetti

We've been waitin' for you.

Giardello

Crosetti?

Crosetti

Have a seat. [starts dealing cards] Okay, jack of spades for Mr. Beau Felton, a ten of diamonds for my esteemed Lieutenant, and a whole lot a' nothing for the little Italian salami-brain.

Giardello

What are we playing?

Crosetti

Five card stud.

Giardello

Who's the fourth chair for?

Felton

We don't know yet. But they'll be here sooner or later.

Giardello

Anybody I know?

Crosetti

Maybe. It's not like it's written in stone, it's not preordained or anything, Lieutenant.

Giardello

I suddenly got worried. My son, he's a cop. I thought maybe-

Crosetti

I wouldn't worry, Lieutenant. Life is short, but once you're dead, you're long time dead, if you know what I mean.

Felton

Your son?

Giardello

Michael.

Felton

He's a good kid?

Giardello

Yes.

Felton

You taught him well?

Giardello

I tried my best. I wish -

Crosetti

Gee, no regrets, huh?

Felton

You know what the best thing about this place is? All the worries and cares that you had in life? They don't matter anymore. "Rest in Peace" means what it says.

Crosetti

Lieutenant, do you want a cup of coffee?

Giardello

[with a dawning smile] Coffee. Coffee would be good. You have any espresso?

Crosetti

No espresso! Where do you think you are, Heaven? Sit!

Felton

Twenty to you, Gee.

Giardello

I'm in.

Crosetti

[continues dealing] Okay, we got one more card comin' up here [to Felton], we have another card there [to Gee]…