I can't believe the water is hotter than the air!
Don't talk Brendon, I'm peeing.
Home Movies · Season 1
I can't believe the water is hotter than the air!
Don't talk Brendon, I'm peeing.
Alright, look! Here's what i need. Food. Fast food, preferrably. Beer. Light Beer. Preferrably.
Alright, Melissa, do you mind fake writing this down?
Yeah.
OK. Go ahead!
I need a satellite map of this entire area
OK. Melissa write it down
Got it.
I need some hair dye, a fake moustache, i need gunpowder..
Coach, Would you settle for some marshmellows?
Oh you got marshmellows?
We can get you some marshmellows.
Yeah! Ill take 'em. Hey!, lets make smores! You got graham crackers?
No.
Sh*t.
He punched me.
Who did?
Fenton.
Uh, me did. It's a lighting thing.
Everybody move, I got to back up. [he backed up but got bumped by a box] Oh, my God. Somebody move that box over there! [He backs up again, but got bumped yet again] Oh, [censor beep] it. [he backs up again but this time the car hit down the stage]
[clapping]
Okay good and action!
Wait. Let me get back in the shot.
Sorry about that.
Okay and action!
Wait. Cut, let me get rid of my gum. [throws her gum away] Action!
Hey, I'm thirsty.
Cut! Jason, could you get him something?
Thank you. Jason.
No, Melissa you get him something.
Jason, I asked you to get him something.
Well I'm telling you, you get...
Someone get me a soda, please.
Right. Melissa go get him a soda.
You get him a soda.
I'm not gonna.
Please! Stop fighting and just get me a soda.
You know, lets forget the soda and action!
Oh, let's not forget the soda and get it!
Get him soda.
You said action.
Listen to my [making sounds with his tongue] drying mouth. [making sounds with his tongue]
(sigh)
Well let's kill Simon and eat him.
Let's just kill someone.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean how many times do I have to hint.
Okay, well we're all in on this you know that?
Thank you, I mentioned it like seven times.
We get trophy if we win race, at spaghetti dinner it is also award ceremony. Ha ha, I will be victorious over you.
There's something very diabolical and informative about Eugene.
Naturally, our director is extremely busy. I'm sure-
[on a telephone] I don't think he's coming.
Scurrying around the city finding new locations.
[on a telephone] He's not coming!
Melissa, please.
[hangs up the telephone] Our stupid director isn't coming.
Melissa, you're blowing the deal.
Why me? It's stupid Brendon.
All right, I agree, he's stupid! You know something, this is stupid! [knocks a calculator off the table]
Jason, you're blowing the deal!
No, I'm not, it's Brendon, Melissa!
You're the one who dropped the baby.
So, it's a fat baby! How was I suppose to hold it? You try picking it up, Melissa!
I'm not picking up fat babies, Jason.
What's the matter, Melissa, chicken to pick up a fat baby?! There it is, pick him up!
That's it, I'm leaving!
Good-bye! [Melissa leaves, to investors.] I am so sorry for what you just witnessed. But I'd like to talk to you two about back end points.
Coach McGuirk- I've got to agree with your mom, Brendon. Cursing is a sign of ignorance. [to referee] Oh [censor beep], ref! Please! [to Brendon] There's no place for cursing in a civilized society.
It's called creative use of words. It's like poetry. Robert Frost, stopping by the woods on a snowy [censor beep] evening. That kind of [censor beep].
Yeah, that's good stuff.
But it's my poetry. It's the everyday-man's poetry.
Yeah, yeah.
Alright, 'cause we can't find good metaphors like the woods... or the snow, or the horse or that kind of stuff. [to referee] Oh [censor beep]-ing [censor beep] me, ref!
Hey guys.
Hey Erik. Want a [censor beep]-ing donut?
He's been splattering poop like a monkey's racehorse.
Next time that thing comes near me, I'm gonna eat it. I'm serious!
Chase the butterfly!
Smash the butterfly!
Brendon, is your grandfather really dying?
We're all dying, Melissa.
Did you just say "weeeow?"
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