Andrew Small quotes from Home Movies

Andrew

Oh, by the way, we're going to meet my girlfriend Linda at the zoo, since you've agreed to go to the zoo.

Brendon

What, is she one of the exhibits?

Andrew

Let me tell you something, she could be.

Brendon

Is she an animal?

Andrew

No, you're not kidding.

[in her underwear] Why didn't you wake me?

Andrew

Uh, Linda, could you get a robe on or something?

Brendon

Good morning to me!

You were supposed to wake me at 7:45.

Andrew

I did.

Yeah, well, you didn't do a very good job of it. It's 8:30!

Andrew

I know, but--

I've got to be at the cancer institute at 9:00!

Andrew

I'm sorry, I guess you fell back to sleep.

Oh, so you're only going to wake me once, is that it? I get one shot and that's it. Thanks a lot. Now I gotta rush. Great. I'm going to have a fun day at the cancer institute.

Andrew

How's the documentary?

Brendon

Good.

Brendon

Hates me.

Andrew

Good, everything seems to be in order then.

Brendon

Actually, the way I had it originally planned is that she would like me instead of hate. I somehow mixed it up.

Brendon

Yeah.

Andrew

You accidentally made her hate you instead of like you?

Brendon

Yes I must have mixed something up.

Andrew

Hmm, sometimes that happens, a classic problem. Did you uh, try too hard around her?

Brendon

Yes, I tried very hard, I tried very, very hard.

Andrew

It didn’t work? Have you been acting weird around her?

Brendon

Yes!

Andrew

Unnatural? Did you try acting unnaturally?

Brendon

Yes! I rehearsed.

Andrew

Right. Did you blurt stuff out you didn’t mean?

Brendon

Yes! I figured, I’m gonna make myself more memorable.

Andrew

Mmhmm, right. So she’s never seen you relaxed?

Brendon

No, she’s never seen me-No. And she still hates me!

Andrew

Hmm, well have you told her how you feel about her?

Brendon

Hahahahaha, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Andrew

It looks more like i'm going to my prom than my wedding.

Brendon

Yeah. So you're thinking the green ones, with the big ties--those are better?