Brendon Small quotes from Home Movies

Brendon

I'm leaving. Doctor, I'm sorry you had to see me this way.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Brendon

What?

You heard me.

Brendon

No, I was outside. What?

Brendon

I can't believe the water is hotter than the air!

Jason

Don't talk Brendon, I'm peeing.

McGuirk

Alright, look! Here's what i need. Food. Fast food, preferrably. Beer. Light Beer. Preferrably.

Brendon

Alright, Melissa, do you mind fake writing this down?

Melissa

Yeah.

Brendon

OK. Go ahead!

McGuirk

I need a satellite map of this entire area

Brendon

OK. Melissa write it down

Melissa

Got it.

McGuirk

I need some hair dye, a fake moustache, i need gunpowder..

Melissa

Coach, Would you settle for some marshmellows?

McGuirk

Oh you got marshmellows?

Melissa

We can get you some marshmellows.

McGuirk

Yeah! Ill take 'em. Hey!, lets make smores! You got graham crackers?

Melissa

No.

McGuirk

Sh*t.

Fenton

He punched me.

Who did?

Brendon

Fenton.

Fenton

Uh, me did. It's a lighting thing.

Brendon

Well let's kill Simon and eat him.

Jason

Let's just kill someone.

Brendon

Yeah.

Jason

Yeah, I mean how many times do I have to hint.

Brendon

Okay, well we're all in on this you know that?

Jason

Thank you, I mentioned it like seven times.

Coach McGuirk

It's called creative use of words. It's like poetry. Robert Frost, stopping by the woods on a snowy [censor beep] evening. That kind of [censor beep].

Brendon

Yeah, that's good stuff.

Coach McGuirk

But it's my poetry. It's the everyday-man's poetry.

Brendon

Yeah, yeah.

Coach McGuirk

Alright, 'cause we can't find good metaphors like the woods... or the snow, or the horse or that kind of stuff. [to referee] Oh [censor beep]-ing [censor beep] me, ref!

Hey guys.

Coach McGuirk

Hey Erik. Want a [censor beep]-ing donut?

Melissa

Brendon, is your grandfather really dying?

Brendon

We're all dying, Melissa.

Melissa

That's insane you don't have any poof.

Brendon

Poof?

Melissa

Proof!

Jason

So are there any questions or comments?

Junior

Well, that was not so great, but it was better than that fairy princess bull-shit.

Melissa

Hey!

Fenton

Um, that's not a twist, it's just stupid.

Jason

Save it for the comment card Fenton.

Fenton

I'm sorry, but it was bad.

Brendon

Fenton, we know you have opinions, but if you could keep them to yourself that would be great.

Fenton

Well, what's the point of having a screening if we don't keep our opinions to ourselves. You just don't want to hear criticism that it was bad.

Walter

I have an idea! What if in the end me and Perry...

Perry

Uh huh.

Walter

Walk up to the front of the camera...

Perry

I like it, I like it.

Walter

And dance like this.

Fenton

Don't touch me.

Junior

This guy needs to loosen up, and you know what I think Walter and Perry. MAKEOVER!

Walter

I hear that!

Perry

Me too.

Fenton

Don't touch my hair.

Junior

I've been looking at you this entire focus group Fenton, and I have to give you a facial scrub so bad.

Walter

And your hair needs some gel.

Perry

I want to pluck your eye-brows so bad.

Fenton

I don't even know what you guys are talking about you morons. Clean up your own backyards.

Clean up our own backyards?

Brendon

Get out of here!

I'm sick of findin' myself on the road. It's been takin' way too long. These hotels are too expensive - and I'm sick o' lookin' at the map and the road at the same time. I'll get killed if I keep doing that.

I don't wanna find myself either. It's more interesting not knowing where I might be.

Maybe we should build a house together out of our bikes and random trash and live in it together, forever.

Brendon

This is gonna sound really weird, guys. I don't - honestly - I don't think our movies should be watched.

Melissa

They shouldn't?

Brendon

No.

Melissa

Then why are we making them?

Brendon

I - I have...I have no idea why we make them. All I know is this: we keep coming here after school every single day... and we just keep doing it. And then, I dunno, its just - and then we just do it and then I guess it feels like we should just be doing it, I guess! I dunno!

Jason

Sigh, huh. Weird. Weird - we are...god, we're weird.

Melissa

What's wrong with us?

Brendon

I don't know!

Jason

We're weirdos!