“Rites and Wrongs Of Passage” quotes from Home Improvement

Mark

Hey Mom, did you get the notebooks?

Oh, yeah. Well, they didn't have any Terminator left, but they did have these two blank ones and this one. (Brad and Mark grab the blank ones, leaving Randy with the other one)

Randy

Mom, this one has a puppy and a rainbow on it!

It was either that or a ballerina and a pussycat.

Randy

Why don't you just pin a note on my back that says "Kick me and take my lunch money"? I can't take this to school!

Yes, you can. You can be creative. You can...you can draw a tank here at the end of the rainbow, and, like, some fighter planes dropping bombs on the little puppy.

Tim, come on. Our son took a dissected frog and placed it on a lettuce leaf. (Tim laughs) It's not funny! This is serious! The principal ate it!

Tim

Well, it's a step up from those fish sticks they serve.

Tim

You wouldn't be just teasing a gal, would you?

Randy

(To Tim who's wearing a kilt) Hey Mom, where's Dad?