Greg the Bunny · Season 1
Yeah, well, at least you have a job. It is impossible for a puppet to find work out there.
Well, they're hiring at the arcade.
Yeah. Dollar fifty an hour to be a whack-a-mole. I don't think so. You should see the guy I'd be replacing. Talks like Mohammed Ali.
Needless to say, we went back to the old Sweetknuckle Junction. Alison told Jimmy that his ideas just weren't jelling creatively with the network. Not to mention all the lawsuits we got from the parents of those twitching kids. Jimmy, you know, the hard-driven creative consultant went back to just being, well... Jimmy. And that's a'ight with me.
You know, I really feel great about this new direction. I just--you know, it's--it's fun, and it's fresh, and it's--it's full of new ideas.
Then why are we testing it?
To see if we like it.
I look fat. P-h-a-t phat.
You think I'm fat.
No, that's--that's Warren.
Would you like a fistful of gold, Liberace?
Oh, Liberace. Tough talk coming from Notorious P.I.G.
Jimmy, I like this outfit, but... don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, my grandmother watches this show.
Well, Dottie, we're not doing this show for the grandmothers. We're doing it for the kids.
Oh, okay. As long as it's for the kids. I'll just be practicing on my go-go pole.
Why didn't you just call a doctor?
Oh, yes, there's a fine way to make my case with the network. "Oh, I am not overweight, I tell you. And, by the way, here's the bill from when my ass exploded."
I am not fat! I... don't be ridiculous! Of course, I can touch my toes! Here, I will prove it to you.
[rip]
Uh... um, something ripped. No, I'm not wearing pants! I... Maury... I--I think I just tore myself a new one.
Yeah, well, like I said, it's not my problem.
But that's what you do. When we complain, you fix.
Top four answers on the board. Show me "Not My Problem." Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Yeah, I'd like to change categories, and take "Television's Biggest Jackasses" for $400.
Jimmy. He's Gil's son. I'm putting him in charge. He's the... P.A.
Wait, I have to listen to the kid who lets my coffee get cold? While you're at it, why don't you make Tardy Turtle the head of the network?
I know you all fear change, so from now on, any changes will be referred to as "enhancements."
Oh, I got enhancements.
You can't put the future of this show in the hands of a P.A. A P.A. who, by the way, only has the job 'cause I'm trying to give that moron some self confidence.
Yes, Alison.
Jimmy just left my office.
Oh, God. Whatever he did, wherever he touched you, I apologize.
No, he was telling me his ideas for the show.
Oy. I apologize for that, too.
See, now this one's the bullet train. So I'm thinkin' silver. I'm thinkin', you know, James Cameron. Like--like, The Matrix.
Yeah, you're thinking The Matrix, but you're babbling like Rain Man.
Oh, please. The cartoon train station?
It's true. You know, kids today don't even like trains.
Everybody likes trains!
No, Gil, have you been on a train? It's depressing. Nobody wants to spend their vacation staring at poor people's backyards.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Greg the Bunny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
