“Rory's Birthday Parties” quotes from Gilmore Girls

Emily

Yes. So, Rory, your grandfather and I thought it might be nice after dinner for you to go around the house and pick out what you'd like us to leave you in our wills.

Richard

Take a look at that desk in my office. It's a really fine Georgian piece.

Lorelai

Why don't I ever bring a tape recorder to these dinners?

Rory

Oh, well, anything you want to leave me is fine.

Emily

Nonsense. You should have what you like. So look around and when you see something you like stick a post-it on it.

Lorelai

OK, you two have officially hit a new level of weird that even I marvel at.

Emily

You can pick out things too, you know.

Lorelai

Oh, well now it's way less creepy.

Emily

Did you hear that Richard? Apparently we're creepy.

Richard

Yes, well, live and learn.

Lorelai

What's that?

Emily

It's dessert.

Lorelai

It's pudding.

Emily

Well if you knew what it was why did you ask?

Lorelai

You don't like pudding.

Emily

Yes, but you like pudding.

Lorelai

Oh, I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.

Rory

I've never had pudding from a crystal bowl before.

Emily

You like the bowl?

Rory

Mmm.

Emily

Put a post-it on it when you're done.

Rory

Mom's famous for her blowouts.

Lorelai

The best one was her eighth birthday.

Rory

Oh yeah, that was good.

Lorelai

The cops shut us down.

Luke

The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party?

Rory

And arrested the clown.

Rory

So, is this party Grandma's having gonna be a big deal?

Lorelai

Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert…again. Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips.

Rory

You ask a simple question…

Lorelai

[whispering as if this is a fairytale] And it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago, I was lying in exactly the same position --

Rory

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Lorelai

Only I had a huge, fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor--

Rory

On leave.

Lorelai

On leave -- right! And there I was --

Rory

In labor.

Lorelai

And while some have called it the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.

Rory

I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.

Lorelai

And I was screaming and swearing and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me.

Rory

There wasn't.

Lorelai

But pelting the nurses sure was fun.