Smithy quotes from Gavin & Stacey

Smithy

Have you looked in the mirror recently? You look like you should be in Amsterdam doing tricks for Mars bars!

Oh thanks Stace! Thanks a lot! That was over ten years ago!

Smithy

I've been thinking about ending it all to be honest, suicide...bigtime. How many Nurofen would I need to finish me off?

Gavin

You? You'd need hundreds.

Smithy

Can't afford that can I? Not if I'm gonna have an holiday this year.

Pam

What's going on?

I don't know, Pam. All I know is if I don't eat this now I'm gonna faint.

Smithy

Me too. I can barely breathe.

Smithy

There's some graffiti on a toilet brush in the men's cubicle at the Rose and Crown which I reckon is aimed at me.

Gavin

What does it say?

Smithy

Smithy was 'ere.

Stacey

Gav, I need to talk to you.

Gavin

Yeah?

Stacey

On our own?

Gavin

Yeah.

Smithy

So, I have to go, do I? Hideous.

Gavin

There's nothing really to say. She's down there, I'm up here. It's not over it's just...

Smithy

Not a marriage anymore.

Gavin

She's still my wife!

Smithy

On paper.

Gavin

Thanks Smithy, this is really cheering me up!

Pam

I always thought you was called Colin.

Smithy

Colin?

Pam

Yeah, Colin.

Smithy

Why?

Pam

Well, it's been so long, darling. I can't remember.