(everyone takes turns telling a bedtime story)
Okay. Once upon a time, there was a pretty girl named Cinderella. Daddy.
And, uh, Cinderella wanted to go to this big fancy ball. And on the way, she wandered into this cabin... and she fell asleep in Papa Bear's bed.
I don't think so.
No, wait, honey. It gets better. So... she's on the bed, she's out like a light when all of a sudden...
(makes a time's-up buzzer sound) Joey.
Um... when Cinderella woke up, she was real thirsty... so she went to 7-Eleven for a Slurpee, where she ran into Bullwinkle. So Bullwinkle says, "Hello, Cinderella. Would you like to come to the ball with me? Not only am I a great dancer, but you can hang your coat on my antlers." Kids love this stuff. So...
(she makes a buzzer sound) Uncle Jesse!
So Cinderella, Bullwinkle. They get married, right? The go on The Newlywed Game, and they win a grand prize selected especially for them. Good night.
(buzzer sound again) Daddy.
Until... the Big Bad Wolf came over. And he said, "Open up... or I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down. And I can do it too, because as we all know... wolves have an amazing lung capacity."
(buzzer sound) Joey!
So--
(buzzer sound) Uncle Jesse!
So the wolf, the moose, the babe... They all fell in love, right? They moved to Sweden, where the people are a lot more cool about that sort of thing... and that's the end of the story. Goodnight and goodbye.
No monsters, no witches... but that story was very scary.
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