TV show quotes
Hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our 'creasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?
I don't know. This here's a spectacle that might warrant a moment's consideration.
[shifting back and forth] Wherever I move to, his eyes keep... followin' me.
Magistrate Higgins, I may presume.
You may. But I only make the people I own use my title. Mister Higgins will do fine.
[Shepherd Book prepares a meal as he absentmindedly addresses River.]
What are we up to, sweetheart?
Fixing your Bible.
I, um... What?
[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]
Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics... doesn't make sense.
No, no. You—you can't...
So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Really?
We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
. . .
River, you don't... fix the Bible.
It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.
Can't be a statue of me, no reason for it. Flies in the face of every kinda sense.
Won't argue with that. [Drinks, then spits it out] Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi?!
Mm. They call it "Mudder's milk". All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol.
[singing] He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor / Stood up to the man and he gave him what-for / Our love for him now ain't hard to explain / The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne!
[Sitting in a bar, listening to "The Ballad of Jayne Cobb" being sung]
Uh, Jayne?
Yeah, Mal?
You got any light you'd like to shed on this particular development?
No, Mal.
. . .
No. This must be what going mad feels like.
. . .
We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!
[Simon and Kaylee, both drunk, chat during the town's toasting of its hero, Jayne.]
I— I reattached a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town.
Hamsters is nice.
To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.
[A drunken Jayne stumbles down the stairs, entwined with a local girl.]
[singing] "The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'." [speaking] Eggs! Living legend needs eggs!
[River is hiding from Book, freaked out by his enormous unbundled mane of white hair.]
They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
River? Please, why don't you come on out?
No! Can't. Too much hair.
Is— is that it?
Hell, yes, preacher. If I didn't have stuff to get done, I'd be in there with her.
. . .
River, honey, he's putting the hair away now.
[Book starts to tie his hair back.]
Doesn't matter. It'll still be there. Waiting.
[Jayne learns what extent the mudders went to show their devotion to Jayne]
[overcome by emotion] You guys had a riot... on account of me? My very own riot?
So, that's where the little "Jayne Day Celebration" we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time to get the goods back onto Serenity.
I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
You better laugh when you say that.
No, really, Mal, I mean, maybe there's something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know, me, Jayne Cobb.
I know your name, jackass!
[Inara's client, Fess Higgins, tells her about an upcoming hearing for a criminal.]
He stole a ton of money from my dad and gave it to the poor, to my father's workers. He's become kind of a folk hero in Canton.
Go on.
Well, he's back. Apparently, he landed here yesterday.
Yesterday? [to herself] Oh, no. [to Fess] I-I know this man. He's... He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this hard-hearted criminal, and he can be unrelenting, but... there's a side to him that's just so...
You mean you actually know... Jayne?
[Long pause.]
Jayne? Jayne Cobb? You're talking about Jayne Cobb?
[Addressing the collected Mudders] Far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'Verse. But you took that end, and you... [pause] Well, you took it. And that's... Well, I guess that's somethin'.
[Jayne's ravaged former partner, Stitch Hessian, confronts him at the celebration.]
For six months, we run together. He turned me out 'fore I could scream!
You'd-a done the same.
No. Never. You protect the man you're with. You watch his back! Everybody knows that! Well, except the "hero of Canton".
[Jayne is horrified after a young Mudder's sacrifice to save him.]
All of you! You think there's someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain't people like that. There's just people like me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Firefly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
