GaryAvocato? It's been three days since you died. I have to say I'm I'm struggling here, man. You said to look after your boy, and I can barely look after myself. I really think you picked the wrong guy. Granted, there wasn't a big pool to pick from, but I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss you, friend. What do you think I should do? I mean, I-I I need a sign, man. You know, maybe rattle some glasses if I should give him some space or flicker the lights. You know, just a little flicker if I should try harder. Any ghost-related stuff at all would be great. Or nothing. Nothing works, too.
[Invictus, free of its prison, emerges from Final Space]
Gary
My God... What have we done...?
[first lines]w
The outcome was never in our favor, Gary.
Gary
Cut it to me straight, H.U.E. What are my chances of getting out of this mess?
In your current state, you will pass the point of recovery in 10 minutes. You are also leaking O2, Gary.
Gary
Huh, look at that. They went with green for a red alert. I mean, I would have went with red, a periwinkle. Heck, I mean, even eggnog. I don't even know if that's a color, but, oh, good Lord, now I just want eggnog.
The rate of the leak will render you lifeless in nine minutes.
Gary
You are really buttering me up with fantastic news.
I'm afraid, Gary, there is no foreseeable outcome where you survive.
Gary
These tickets suck -- right in the nosebleeds.
Gary
The less H.U.E. -- who, between us, is a bit of a dick -- knows about you, the better. [puts Mooncake on the shelf] Okay, let's get you in here. You ready? [closes the door on Mooncake]
Chookity! Chookity, chookity!
Gary
Please close. Okay, it's not fitting. It's not working. [moves Mooncake under the matress] I hide there sometimes. I'm like a mattress ghost. Don't tell anyone. Oh, perfect! Per-- no, it's not perfect. That sucks. Why does that suck so hard?! Okay, how about this? [puts underwear on Mooncake's head] Sometimes I hide -- I like to hide from myself by putting underwear on the circumference of my head. How about that? How's it fit?
Gary
Perfect!
[Gary recording 'captains' log for Quinn]
Gary
...but Avocato is one great card player.
[Avocato spits out the cards he had stuffed in his mouth]
Any more cards and I will shoot myself.
Gary
I'm gonna shoot you, if you don't play cards!
Gary
Um, oh- real- Well, then I'm gonna shoot myself!
Gary
Frickin' figure it out. Figure it out.
GAGreen Alien
I love Mommy more!
BABlue Alien
No, I love Mommy more!
Gary
Okay, just, uh -- stop -- keep -- stop tugging too hard, babies.
[they grab on until they scream]
DDavid
Melanie?! Oh, God!
Gary
So you probably have a few questions.
DDavid
Get out of here, you maniac!
[David starts to cry]
[Gary and Avocato are falling down Tera Con Prime]
Gary
We're falling! Oh, my gosh!
GAGary and Avocato
Wahhh! [they bump into a window]
Gary
Oh, my God, David, kids! It's me, your mother! [the aliens scream] No, my arm! I forgot my arm back up there! [the lasers start to shoot] This is no good! H. U. E, pick up, pick up! [the doors close] Are those what I think they are?
Gary
Okay, that's not good. That's not good! Quick, hug me.
Gary
Hug a friend!
Gary
Hug me! Oh, we're hugging!
[Gary and Avocato hug each other as they fall out the exit]
[the cookies started to come out]
Gary
Aaah! Why am I the only one covered in cookies? You have no cookies!
Gary, de-think the cookies!
Gary
Not sure that's possible. I'm a very creative guy. Like, wouldn't it be cool if they had, like, laser eyes? [the cookies started to shoot] Run! [he and Avocato start to run] Oh, my God!
Think of something else! Anything else!
Gary
What, like tridents?
Gary
Yeah! Yes!
No! Not like tridents! [he jumps]
Gary
I'm thinking about little trident-wielding laser-shooting death cookies! I'm thinking of nothing, nothing, nothing. Oh! Whoa! Oh! Oh, my gosh.
CMr. Cookie
I'm going to eat your eyes out.
CMrs. Cookie
And pee in your sockets!
CMr. Cookie
You're never going to leave this place.
Gary
[sees a cookie running] Why is that one cookie lone-wolfing it across the edge? Oh! He's leaping! Whoa! He's like an angel! Oh, my God
CMr. Cookie
I'm going to kill you!
Gary
It's stabbing my eyes! [he and Avocato fall]
Gary
Quinn? It's been a long time.
Gary
Is it really you?
Gary
Get off me! It's part of the trap.
Gary, don't listen to him.
You need to trust me. She isn't real.
Trust me, buddy. We both need to wake up.
Gary
I don't want to wake up.
Then you're really not going to want this. [Avocato punches Gary in the face, the pieces start to crack]
[KVN swooping down in Galaxy 1 for Gary to board]
I'm here to save you, Gary! The day is saved.
Gary
Freaking KVN! I hate you so much! I truly can't wait for the day you die! No one will be sad. There will only be happiness!
Nice work. I need to commandeer your ship. I have a class-three priority.
Gary
Quinn, you look every bit as spicy as the last time I saw you.
Great, and you are again?
Gary
Oh-ho-ho! How I've missed your razor-sharp wit.
No, seriously, I have no idea who you are.
Gary
Really?
You resemble no one I know, so, yeah, really.
Gary
Seriously?
Gary
Oh, dear Lord, you're suffering from amnesia!
I'm suffering from an emergency that's going to destroy Earth.
Gary
[laughs] Quinn, you really expect me to believe you don't know who I am? Hold on. I know how to fix this. This is the real raw Gary.
[laughs] That didn't fix it, whoever you are.
Gary
What a dagger to the heart. I'm the guy who, for the past five years, has been sending daily documentaries to the woman who has no idea who I am!
Wow, that sucks. I never got any of them. Now, if you could just show me where the bridge is It's all good.
Gary
Life, you know? [walks away]
Hmm, cute guy, but issues, definite issues.
[Gary rewinds to his flashback as a kid]
JJohn
How's my boy doing?
Gary
Dad? [puts his hand on his dad] That's unsettling.
WWoman
The new Imperium T-3 Cruiser will bridge us to the next galaxy, and the countdown has begun.
JJohn
Hey, you want to watch the launch outside?
KGKid Gary
You bet! [hops on his dad]
Gary
Dad!
JJohn
Keep your eyes open. It'll be taking off right over there.
KGKid Gary
One day, I'm gonna do that.
KGKid Gary
Yeah, I'm gonna have a whole bunch of adventures.
KGKid Gary
Bunches and bunches.
Gary
Why are you showing this to me? Answer me, you drug-dealer caterpillar! [time files] I remember this.
[kid Gary is sitting at his treehouse and his father comes]
KGKid Gary
I could come with you.
JJohn
There's nothing more in the world that I would want, but not this time, little buddy. I have to do this one alone. You won't understand, but know that I'm doing this for you. Can you make me a promise?
JJohn
Promise me you'll have your own adventures.
JJohn
Bunches and bunches. Here, this fellow will look after you while I'm gone. [gives his pet to him]
KGKid Gary
What's his name?
Avocato and I will scout on foot. The rest of you stay back and repair the ship. Come on, Avocato, let's go.
Gary
[tries to catch up] What?! If I could pour a tall glass of truth-juice for you real quick, Quinn, I am not feeling the trust.
I only trust three people in this world my dog, my sister, and every single member of the Infinity Guard.
Gary
You're insane, my lady. The Infinity Guard tried to kidnap you. And they tried to take over the Galaxy One. And dogs aren't even people.
I have no reason to trust any of you, so I'm going with the guy literally covered in guns. [she and Avocato leave]
Final Space · 75 quotes
