DRINK! DRINK! (after a few seconds of silence and staring directly at the camera, he breaks the fourth wall) FECK OFF!
“Grant unto Him Eternal Rest” · Season 1
In this episode: Father Ted (7), Father Dougal (6), Sister Monica (3), Father Jack (2)
(Ted and Dougal have suggested to Sister Monica that they visit some of the sights on Craggy island)
That's wonderful. I'll just go and freshen up.
(Sister Monica leaves the room)
Father Dougal (to Ted): She'll be putting on makeup I suppose... to impress the lads. Huh?
Ah no she's probably just going to the toilet.
Ah, nuns are great though Ted. It's good because you don't feel as nervous with them as you do with real women do you?
Ah you're right there.
Even though I only got the courage to talk to her a few minutes ago, it's nice to have a nun around. It gives the place a bit of glamour!
"A woman's touch" (nods head)
(Father Dougal suddenly gets serious and looks at Ted suspiciously)
(later..)
Father Dougal (to Sister Monica): Ted says you were touching him!
(Father Jack's wake has begun. Various priests and nuns are in the living room)
I think it's absolutely great to see. I mean, the level of commitment amongst the African church in bringing the faith to the people is just wonderful! It's marvellous, isn't it?
BPBlack priest
Sure I wouldn't know, I'm from Donegal.
(One of the older priests at the wake is devastated by Jack's death)
FJFather Jim Sutton
Why him, Ted? Why is it always the good ones? You bastard! [shakes fist to Heaven]
Now, Father!
FJFather Jim Sutton
He could have been pope, Ted! But the feckin' Jesuits, they have it all tied up!
Yes...
FJFather Jim Sutton
Imagine, Ted! A Polish pope! It should have been Jack! But it's not what you know, is it? It's who you know!
Ah, it's sad, but sure look at him there; he looks quite serene.
FJFather Jim Sutton
OH, GOD! NO, NO, NO, NO!! HE'S DEAD, TED! WE'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! [continues sobbing]
We'll see him in the next world.
FJFather Jim Sutton
(sarcastically) Oh yeah, sure!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Father Ted pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.