Wayne Lyon quotes from Fargo

Wayne Lyon

Well, ya, hon, there was...you were abducted.

Dot Lyon

Stop saying that. I had a bad day. I needed some time to clear my head. Did I leave the house a mess? Well, shoot. I know you think I'm kinda this perfect woman, wife, mother, but you know, even I got a breaking point. Now, you want to set the table for breakfast? Gotta make sure Scott gets her vitamins and minerals for school. Most important meal of the day.

Indira Olmstead

But what I'm dealing with is the fact that the blood on your entry floor is different than the blood type we have on record for you.

Dot Lyon

Records? Those...y'know, I heard a man went into the hospital in St. Paul for a kidney transplant and he ended up with someone else's brain.

Wayne Lyon

No way!

Dot Lyon

Yah!

Arr! Welcome to Gun World! How can I help ye?

Wayne Lyon

I like your eyepatch.

[dropping pirate accent] Actually, that's, uh, that's a hunting accident.

Wayne Lyon

Chapter One: The Hero. Once upon a time there was a girl named Dot. Dorothy. She was the sun's favorite. Y'know, the, uh, the sun? And everywhere she went there were rainbows.

Scotty Lyon

Dorothy, like mom.

Wayne Lyon

Mmhmm. And she could do anything, our Dorothy. Y'know, she could, uh, climb a tree. She could, uh, wrestle an alligator. And everyone she met, she put a smile on their face. But the darkness hates the light and the ugly things come out at night. And so she, our Dot, in order to save the rainbows, she had to go fight against the darkness. And leave the, uh, the flowers and the birds at home. Her family, I'm saying. Because until you go someplace, you can't come home.

Ole Munch

We will finish our engagement now.

Dot Lyon

I thought we were done. You said.

Ole Munch

The debt must be paid. A man's flesh was taken. Now a pound is required in return.

Wayne Lyon

[handing Munch a soda] There you go.

Ole Munch

[confused] A man is grateful.

Wayne Lyon

So, are you from, uh, you from around here?

Ole Munch

Across the sea, but here a long time. From the age of the carrier pigeon and the 600 tribes. The Arapaho, the Cree, and the Tonkawa. A man comes, never having seen a mountain. He cannot remember the year of his birth. He is paid to soldier. But one night, he wanders from his post, drawn by the songs of the river.

Wayne Lyon

Well, Scotty's grandfather took us to the Vermillion last year. My dad Wink, well, he's a big fly fisherman. Remember that, hon?

Scotty Lyon

I caught a cold.

Wayne Lyon

Yeah. Yeah, she did. It's kind of funny.

Dot Lyon

[to Munch] Why? Why must debt be paid? I understand keeping a promise, but people always say debt must be paid. Except what if you can't? If you're too poor or you lose your job. Maybe there's a death in the family. Isn't the better thing - the more humane thing - to say the debt should be forgiven? Isn't that who we should be?

Wayne Lyon

Oh, game's on at seven. Probably time to make the biscuits.

Dot Lyon

You know what? You're right. It's not chili without biscuits.

Wayne Lyon

No.

Dot Lyon

How about you two go set the table, huh?

Wayne Lyon

Oh, well, I was thinking chopsticks.

Scotty Lyon

For chili?

Wayne Lyon

Come on.

Dot Lyon

[to Munch] Whatever it is you think you came here for, we're halfway to supper and it's a school night. So either you wash your hands and you help, or we do this another time.

Ole Munch

A man-

Wayne Lyon

Y'know, I was thinking...

Ole Munch

-has a code.

Wayne Lyon

...I might have a beer. What do you think?

Dot Lyon

Let's do it.

Ole Munch

He has a code, and the code-

Scotty Lyon

[tapping Munch] You're in the way.

Ole Munch

[sighs and steps aside] The code is ev-

Wayne Lyon

[handing Munch and Dot beers] Here you go.

Dot Lyon

Thanks, hon.

Wayne Lyon

Yah.

Dot Lyon

Ok, so I'm gonna tell you a little secret. It says to use water, but I use milk. Even better, buttermilk. So, go ahead and measure out a cup.

Scotty Lyon

[pointing at the line on the measuring cup] This one's a cup.

Ole Munch

Thank you.

Dot Lyon

Mmhmm. Pour it in there. [Munch pours in the buttermilk] OK, then, you add just a little honey. I'm assuming he paid you to come here - Roy - and do what you did. Maybe you're feeling sideways about it, 'cause of what it cost you. A partner. An ear. You go ahead, stir. [Munch stirs the batter] You took a job that had a risk to it. You got hurt. You can't be mad at the risk. That'd be like getting mad at the table you stubbed your toe on.

Wayne Lyon

I might have gone over the deep end on the spices.

Dot Lyon

I know you had a mom back there, across the sea. And she loved you. If someone came for her, don't you think she would've done whatever it took to get back to you?

Ole Munch

You say that as if life is a circle, but it's a line. Mother is the start. This is the other side.

Dot Lyon

Well, I don't know what that means. What I'm saying is it's a choice. You made a choice.

Wayne Lyon

Well, personally, I never been across the sea.

Dot Lyon

Nope.

Ole Munch

By long boat, we came. Three dozen men pulling at the oars, the rain so heavy some drown in their seats.

Wayne Lyon

Jeez.

Ole Munch

First in forest, then on grassland. The man's hair grew long. He rode the horse without saddle or reins, and the people of the plains were his people. But then came the cannon and the musket and he was alone once more. For a century he spoke to no one.

Wayne Lyon

Hmm. I don't know if I could go an hour without talking.

Scotty Lyon

Daddy does sales.

Wayne Lyon

Yeah.

Dot Lyon

Daddy likes talking.

Scotty Lyon

A lot.

Wayne Lyon

Yeah. You ever drive a Kia, Mr. Munch? It's like flying a cloud.

Dot Lyon

I think we should see how your biscuits turned out, huh?

Ole Munch

Before the boat, the man lived on the moors and ate fleas from the rats. He was frightened all the time. Then one day, a man comes on a wealthy horse and offers him two coins and a meal. But the food was not food.

Dot Lyon

What was it?

Ole Munch

It was sin. The sins of the rich. Greed, envy, disgust. They were bitter, the sins. But he ate them all for he was starving. From then on, the man does not sleep or grow old. He cannot die. He has no dreams. All that is left...is sin.

Dot Lyon

It feels like that, I know. What they do to us, make us swallow. Like it's our fault. But you want to know the cure? You got to eat something made with love and joy. [Dot hands Munch a biscuit] And be forgiven.