Stavros Milos quotes from Fargo

Stavros Milos

You're looking at the Supermarket King Of Minnesota, la mercado rey. And it all started right here in this office. Next quarter, we're expanding into Wisconsin and the Dakotas. By this time next year, rule the whole goddamn midwest. You see my mangos? Straight from Ecuador, kiwis too. That's what makes my stores so goddamn superior. I got mangos in goddamn January. And the back of a 90-year-old woman.

Stavros Milos

A million dollars? He killed my damn dog and now he wants a million dollars? "Eat a turd" is my response.

Stavros Milos

Saint Lawrence. Patron saint of hard asses. Burned alive by the Romans. You know what he said? "Turn me over. I'm done on this side." That's a goddamn saint.

Stavros Milos

We're only as good as the promises we keep.

Lorne Malvo

This is kind of embarrassing, but, uh, would you sign a copy of my book?

Stavros Milos

I'd be delighted. You--you want something personal?

Lorne Malvo

Yeah, could you put "To Frank Peterson, thanks for nailing my blackmailer".

Lorne Malvo

It was the Romans, wasn't it?

Stavros Milos

What are you saying?

Lorne Malvo

St. Lawrence, your window, Romans burned him alive.

Stavros Milos

They did.

Lorne Malvo

You know why?

Stavros Milos

Cause he was Christian.

Lorne Malvo

Maybe. But I think it was because the Romans were raised by wolves. The greatest empire in human history, founded by wolves. You know what wolves do. They hunt. They kill. It's why I never bought into the jungle book. Boy is raised by wolves and becomes friends with a bear and panther. I don't think so. I knew a guy once, had a hundred and ten pound Rottweiler, and one night this girl thought it would be funny to get down on all fours and let the dog hump her. Dog still had its balls. Well the dog gets up there, but he's not in on the joke. This is just a bitch in heat as far as he's concerned. He's not leaving til he gets what he came for. Well the girl, too late, realizes the kind of mistake she's made. She wants to get up. But the dog had other ideas. Had to shoot it behind the ear to get it off of her.

Stavros Milos

I don't uh... I don't...

Lorne Malvo

Well, I'm saying that the Romans raised by wolves, they see a guy turning water into wine, what do they do? They eat him. 'Cause there are no saints in the animal kingdom. Only breakfast and dinner.

Ticket, please.

Stavros Milos

I changed my mind. I decided... God. He told me. He has different plans.

God told you not to park here?

Stavros Milos

No, no, no. I know what I have to do now. I didn't before.

Well, sir, I gotta... It's $2 for the first 30 minutes, so...

Stavros Milos

Son, you go to church?

Yes, sir.

Stavros Milos

Then open the goddamn gate. Your Lord demands it.