The idle sister is the Devil's workshop.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Why is it always my responsibility to make sure the anniversary is good while you get to sit back and complain? I spent money on dinner, tickets, a hotel, and what do I get? $250 worth of angry stare.
Nowadays, that stare costs over a thousand.
What you think I am, a snitch?
Yes!
Oh, baby, this is the best make-up anniversary ever.
Translation: You blew it once, don't make it happen again.
We won't be able to use those $150 worth of show tickets to celebrate our anniversary.
Sidney Poitier had nothing on my father's actin' abilities.
APAward Presenter
And the award for "Best Husband Acting Like He Was Sad About Not Going Out On His Anniversary When He Was Actually Upset About Losing His Money" goes to... Julius!
[about watching Drew and Tonya] Ma, I can do it. I mean, I know how much you've been looking forward to this and I wouldn't want you to miss it because of us.
APAward Presenter
And the award for "Best Kid Pretending Like He Gives A Damn About His Mother's Anniversary When He Really Wants To Get Out Of The House So He Can Sneak Out And Do Something He Doesn't Have Any Business Doing" goes to... Chris!
I was married once. For our anniversary, he took me to a Knicks game. I broke up with him at halftime.
And ended up goin' home with Bernard King.
At the barbershop, rumors about Jerome were spreadin' faster than Britney Spears for the paparazzi.
I got all the emergency numbers: Fire, Police, SWAT, FBI, CIA, IRS, NAACP, and the NBA.
In case Chris Mullin breaks in.
I didn't have anything against Big Bird, but unfortunately for me, she didn't have anything against me, either.
Hey, little dude out on a date, lemme hold your money! [Chris runs off]
BBBig Bird
Chris, wait!
No!
Every time the Jets win, I use my green toothbrush.
Four outta five dentists think she's crazy.
That kiss from Big Bird made me feel like Superfly.
Lemme make it up to you. Lemme take you out again.
KKelly
No. Never. Het. Noya. No, no, no, no, no, and no.
Unfortunately for me, Kelly spoke 15 languages.
KKelly
Jo. Cuwa. Momo. Tla.
Was that Cherokee?
KKelly
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
Tonight's episode was brought to you by the letters D, A, M, and N!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.