I was happy Doc had a girlfriend. Too bad I have to kill her.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
While I wanted less attention from my boss, Tonya wanted more attention from boys.
If I don't have a woman by the time I'm 60...
I'll kill myself.
I was like Cupid's retarded little brother. Damn, I'm good.
It is the same thing over and over again, and Stacy is tired of it! Stacy is not a fool! When Stacy smells smoke, Stacy doesn't stand around and wait for the fire! Stacy is leaving!
Referrin' to yourself in the third person. It ain't just for athletes no more.
Get that bottle of whisky for me.
At least he didn't ask me for a box of tissues.
While Doc was feedin' the bums, losin' Stacy was eatin' him up.
Stacy was back with Doc and out of the store on weekends, which was all I ever wanted. Doc said he was gettin' another cashier. Whoever it was, they'd have to be better than Stacy.
Hey, Lionel Richie, you're late! Get busy! Scrub floor!
No matter how much you think you may hurt a woman's feelings, you have to tell the truth. She may hate you, burn down your house, pour bleach on your clothes, attack your new girlfriend with ants or take every dime you make. She may scratch your car with a rake or use your home phone to call China long-distance. She could put milk and detergent in your gas tank or put turpentine and nail polish remover and itching powder in your underwear. [2 hours later] She may glue your private parts to your leg or send an assassination threat to the President with your return address.
Believe it or not, Doc's girlfriend was the second-worst boss I've had. Mr. Fong was the worst, and I could only imagine how hard it would be workin' for him again.
Hey, quit imagining what it would be like to work for me and get back to work, Lionel Richie.
I love Stacy. She came by today and brought me a pie. And if she was 13, I'd probably have to take her from you, Doc.
You'd have to get past R. Kelly first.
Captain Obvious only gives you the obvious solution. The rest is up to you.
Kinda like Google.
Stacy said it's over, called me every name in the book.
You can never find that book in the library.
What's the matter, past your bedtime?
Yes!
After The Last Dragon, karate became more popular in the ghetto than poverty. Everybody was doin' it. Boys were doin' karate, girls were doin' it, even old people were doin' it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.





