Ephram Brown quotes from Everwood

Andy

[about Madison] Are you sleeping with her? Answer me!

Ephram

No, I'm not sleeping with her. I'm not sleeping with her and I'm gonna be a virgin for the rest of my life, because that's just how my life is! When something is good, it turns bad, and when something's bad it just gets worse. Is that what you wanted to hear?

Ephram

It's amazing, I, I didn't think things could get any better, or, or I could like her any more, but I do. This is what you were warning me about, huh? You knew I was gonna feel this way.

Bright

Well, I don't think I used the word "feel." I might of used the word "feel up." That's totally different.

Ephram

I love you.

Madison

I gotta go get the iron.

Ephram

Do you think we can just maybe rewind the last couple days? Just go back completely?

Madison

I don't think it works that way, Ephram.

Ephram

Right, the toothpaste, tube. Forget it. [long pause] Do you think we could maybe just pretend? For now, at least?

Madison

Yeah, I guess we could do that.

Ephram

Okay.

Bright

[about sunglasses] These are cool. I don't know if they do me justice. I mean, they look good, but do they say I'm a genius?

Ephram

No because they don't speak.

I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think. She really digs you, you know. She talks about you all the time.

Ephram

Yeah.

You kind of love her, don't you?

Ephram

Yeah.

You have that face. I remember when I had the face. Derek Senn. But we called him Demi-God. You know, 'cause he was basically god-like. I met him freshman year, we dated for like six months. It was the most amazing six months of my life. Then he decided he had to bike around South America, so he dropped out. We said goodbye at the airport and I never heard from him again. Pretty much the worst pain I ever felt.

Ephram

Why does everyone feel the need to tell me how awful their first loves were? I mean, what's up with that?

I don't know. I guess because they're always so awful... and amazing... and usually over before they start.

Amy

You're sad.

Ephram

A little.

Amy

Something happen?

Ephram

Madison and I broke up.

Amy

What? When?

Ephram

About an hour ago.

Amy

Oh my God, the other day you said that everything was fine I thought...

Ephram

Yeah I know, I lied a little bit. Don't ask me why.

Amy

Why?

Ephram

I don't know. I guess I thought if I pretended that everything was great, actually it would be great.

Andy

I'm sorry if I have to put my foot down, but I should have done this six months ago. I knew how this was going to end back then. I told you both. I wish someone had listened to me.

Ephram

What do you mean, "someone"? Did you talk to Madison behind my back?

Madison

Well maybe in two weeks we could do something, have one of those kick-off friendship lunches, or something.

Ephram

No, no, I, ah, I could never do the "friend thing" with you. Let's face it, we were never really friends. We were just--

Madison

In love.

Ephram

Yeah.

Andy

What's going on here? Delia: Ephram fired Mrs. Hammerhead.

Ephram

Over the phone, this morning. Actually, it went pretty smoothly -- I've had some experience letting sitters go before, you recall... Everybody will be happy.

Andy

I'm not happy.

Ephram

Oh, you will be.

Amy

One thing I do know is whatever is going on in there is going to come out whether you like it or not. So, you might as well just say it on purpose and choose your words.

Ephram

You know, it's amazing how you do that.

Amy

Do what?

Amy

There has to be some way we can enjoy this.

Ephram

Sedated.

Ephram

How does he do it?

Amy

What, act like a moron? It comes naturally.

Amy

Ephram, go away!

Ephram

No, I'm not going to go away, I don't understand what's going on, why are you crying?

Amy

Do you know how hard that was for me? To lay my heart on the line like that?

Ephram

Yeah, I think I do.

Amy

Maybe it's easy for you but it's not for me. I don't really like feeling this vulnerable. I told you because I trusted you and now I feel like this whole night you've been lying to me.

Ephram

I wasn't lying to you, I wasn't sure if it was true or not.

Amy

Please, if all you cared about is if it were true you could've just asked me. Instead you created this completely false moment. This whole night, how much of it was a manipulation? Dinner, after dinner, were you faking being nervous at the audition?

Ephram

I wasn't trying to humiliate you, I was trying to get you to tell me how you feel, why is that so wrong? I've told you a thousand times!

Amy

You told me because you wanted to, not because I tricked you into it, all calculated.

Ephram

How many times have you lied to me? With my dad, with Colin? All last year you knew that I would do anything for you, all you had to do was ask, so you didn't. You would just bat your eyes and cry on my shoulder. You played me! Well tonight I played you!