Ephram Brown quotes from Everwood

Nina

[about Madison] Who was that?

Ephram

Oh you mean Satan? That's Delia's new babysitter. I basically hate her.

Andy

I think I am a pretty good judge of people.

Ephram

Yeah? Like that maid you hired back in Manhattan that stole all the silverware?

Madison

Your dad says you have something to say to me.

Ephram

I apologize... Madison.

Madison

Wow, thank you Ephram. That was very manly, have a carrot stick.

Ephram

So I hear you stick people with needles. Sounds like fun.

Linda

It can be, especially when they're annoying.

Ephram

Oh, so you must really like working with my dad.

Ephram

Ya know, I don't know why they call it a driving test. All they really care about is parking.

Madison

Well I wouldn't worry about it. Lots of guys ride their bikes to junior prom. Maybe your date can sit on the handlebars.

Amy

You were right Ephram, about everything. I have taken you for granted. But hey, you're a better person than I am. Everybody else sees it, I don't know why you don't. As if you didn't know this already, I'm kinda a giant mess right now. I have been ever since you've known me. I might have been more normal in Junior High, I don't know. The point is, you deserve someone great, Ephram, amazing even. Someone a little less like me and a little more like you.

Ephram

For an apology, that sounded an awful lot like a breakup.

Amy

I'm sorry I wasted your time and it would kill me to think I wasted any more of it. I want you to promise me something.

Ephram

Amy.

Amy

Promise me that you won't let me and you get in the way of you and somebody else.

Ephram

[after a long pause] I promise.

Madison

God, Ephram, you don't even know me.

Ephram

I might not know everything about you, but I do know some things. I know that you're the only person who makes my little sister think it's OK to be a girl. I know how you feel when you sing, cause it's how I feel when I play. I know all you really want from this Jay-guy is for him to get you, and he never will because the only thing he's interested in getting is himself. And, I know that all this stuff about me being too young is just you being afraid... because, it's easier for you to say that I'm too young than to risk something that's not what you thought you wanted. And, most of all, I know that, ever since I kissed you at the D.M.V., every time I've seen you, I've wanted to kiss you again. [pause] And I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure you did. And, you have to...

Ephram

Yeah... thought so.

Bright

You have to keep her guessing.

Ephram

And how do I do that?

Bright

By ignoring her.

Ephram

Ignoring her? That's your plan?

Bright

It's perfect. Right now she's expecting you to be all, "sorry for copping a feel."

Ephram

I didn't cop a feel!

Ephram

Madison's sleeping over tonight!

Bright

That's awesome! All systems go!?

Ephram

You know, sometimes you're smarter than you look.

Madison

If I get sick, you're in big trouble.

Ephram

Don't worry. I'm not that sick.

Madison

Well then, get out of bed. Get your ass to high school. I never want to say that sentence again.

Ephram

What I want is to be able to have a life, and I wouldn't even mind having to share it with you. But you won't let that happen. You're too busy controlling everything and everyone, that I don't even think you know what you're controlling anymore. What is so wrong with me and Madison?

Andy

Many, many things.

Ephram

No there's not. I know the age thing freaks you out, but there's more to it than that, I can tell. I just can't figure out what it could be. She's great. She's smart. She loves Delia and she even likes you. What is it that you're trying to stop?

Andy

It's just wrong.

Ephram

[to Spanish teacher] Estamos uh... mucho um... embarazada.

Amy

You just said: We're very pregnant.

Ephram

(To Amy) Well, I'll let you fix this.

Andy

Why aren't you with Madison?

Ephram

Would you believe we decided our relationship was strong enough that we don't have to spend every waking moment together?

Andy

No.

Ephram

Then I think we're in a fight.

Amy

How are you as a cook?

Ephram

About as good as I am at speaking Spanish.

Bright

[about Madison] Dude, come on! She is signaling the pitch!

Ephram

Please don't use sports metaphors... I need to understand what you're saying.

Bright

She's achin' for some Brown lovin'. Dish it up and serve it hot my friend.