Nina Feeney quotes from Everwood

Nina

[To Andy] Oh please, if I got upset hearing about every guy who cheated on his wife, I'd have to give up my soaps and you know I'd never do that.

Nina

[To Andy] If you talk to me in that crappy I'm a doctor voice one more time I'm gonna knee you in the nuts.

Nina

Jake, I don't care. My best friend lost her husband, Hannah is freaking out, and based on Sam's favorite new word, I'm pretty sure he's been sneaking episodes of Deadwood.

Ephram

So, what's he like? Colin.

Nina

He's a charmer. You know, he's the kind of kid who forgets to mow your lawn for two weeks, then when he finally comes, you end up paying him for three. I think he was All State football. And pretty smart, too.

Ephram

So he's basically like God.

Nina

I hear you're working narcotics, Detective Friday.

Andy

You know, the speed at which news travels around here defies the space-time continuum.

Nina

Well, I'm friends with Irma's daughter, Lily, and she is freaking out.

Andy

Well, I would be too if I found out my mother was growing more weed than Cheech and Chong combined.

Nina

[about her son] How was he?

Andy

Well, I'd say he was a little angel, but there were too many witnesses.

Nina

Oh boy!

Andy

Well, I learned how to make a cape, how to unclog a toilet and how to remove a chewy cookie from a VCR.

Nina

[on the phone] Hello... hello. Stop calling here. Look, I know who this is and don't ever call him again. Do you hear me? He told me all about you. What you had is over. He's home with his family, with his son, with me. He loves me. Do you understand?

I'm sorry. Tell him I'm sorry.

Nina

[about Madison] Who was that?

Ephram

Oh you mean Satan? That's Delia's new babysitter. I basically hate her.

Andy

What?

Nina

Nothing, just... you know how they say 'don't drive angry'? I'm thinking the same thing applies to neurosurgery.

Nina

I told you from the start that you should talk to her if she brought it up and instead you said 'cheesecake'!

Andy

It was a reflex!

Nina, if you have all these different clothes, how come you look the same every day?

Nina

Don't make me cry Delia. I just put on mascara.

Hannah

It's stupid. Boy stuff.

Nina

There is NOTHING stupid about boy stuff.

Nina

Wow...

Jake

Yeah?

Nina

I mean, damn. You can kiss.

Andy

I mean, I could wallow in self pity but what would be the point of that?

Nina

Oh, you don't need a point to wallow, that's the beauty of the wallow.

Jake

It's going to be okay, all right? [starts breathing in and out]

Nina

Please don't go all yoga on me right now.