Laynie Hart quotes from Everwood

Laynie

Okay, I challenge you. To an "I Hate Everwood" contest. I'll go first. I hate the fact that the egg rolls at Gino Chang's smell like lasagna.

Ephram

I hate that everything here is a 'fest'. Thaw Fest, Fly Fest, Pie Fest. What does that all mean? And what's so festive about catching some fish or watching some guy melt?

Laynie

I hate that they call it 'Main' Street. It's the only street in town. They should just call it 'Street'.

Ephram

Do you have a subway map of another city covering one wall of your room?

Laynie

Do you choose colleges based on how far they are from here?

Ephram

Have you ever had a dream that you were trapped underground in a sewer full of mice and woke up disappointed to discover that you were still in Everwood?

Laynie

Do you have a packed bag and a plane ticket in your room?

Ephram

C'mon.

Laynie

If you don't believe me I'll show it to you.

Ephram

No, I believe you. I still have the bag packed...I just haven't bought the ticket yet.

Amy

Ephram? What are you doing here.

Laynie

I found him after school at the post office hanging around the outbound mail box. I think someone was trying to return him.

Ephram

I wish.

Amy

What is it you like about him?

Laynie

He's that guy that you'd want to hang out with even if you weren't dating him, and he's cute in that kinda way that's sorta like... you know in the movies that guy you want the girl to end up with that everybody pretends isn't cute, but really is.

Laynie

Nightmare, isn't it?

Ephram

What's going on, except my exact version of 'hell on earth'?

Laynie

Spoils of war. The result of a commercially financed assault against the unattached individual.

Ephram

Valentine's Day?

Laynie

Week after is always the hardest. These newbie couples have the lifespan of a monarch butterfly. By Friday, the halls will be littered with their crispy corpses.

Laynie

Okay, number one... how'd you get us in here. Two, how did you find this place. And three... how'd you get us in here?

Ephram

I have connections.

Laynie

Mob ties?

Ephram

I'm all kinds of dangerous.

Laynie

I don't know how to break this to you...

Ephram

You're married?

Laynie

No.

Ephram

You're leaving the country?

Laynie

"Stop!

Ephram

You're marrying Bright, then leaving the country?

Laynie

You looked so uncomfortable the other day. Like I embarrassed you or something.

Ephram

Look, I'm gonna mess up because that's just what I do. But at least give me a chance to mess up. I mean, I'm capable of such stupidity that you'd be wasting my talent by ending this now.

Amy

I should've called you Laynie.

Laynie

It wasn't your decision.

Amy

No, you, you should've been there.

Laynie

Some days I'm really mad about it. Sometimes, you know, I'm glad I wasn't there. I got a whole extra day to feel normal again.

Bright

Who is that?

Stacy Wilson. It's kinda hard to tell since...

Laynie

Since the hooter fairy paid her a visit.