[V.O.] Ethan made plans with Kat to go bowling that night. Kat was depressed because she couldn’t figure out why she didn’t love Ethan. So she decided to make a list of pros and cons. But she couldn’t think of anything, which made her realize Ethan might not be the problem.
Mmm... [mimics shooting herself in the head and falls aside]
[V.O.] Kat hated herself. But the problem with hating yourself is you can’t really talk about it. Because at some point recently, the whole world joined a self-help cult and won’t shut the fuck up about it.
IAInfluencer Amanda LaCount
[in an online tutorial video] It’s not gonna solve all your life problems, but it is gonna solve... [Kat closes laptop]
IAInfluencer Andrea Somer
[standing in bathroom doorway] Kat. You’re one of the bravest, most beautiful human beings I have ever seen.
[with her mouth full] That’s not true.
IAInfluencer Andrea Somer
Yes, it is. I wish I had your confidence.
But I don’t, like... feel healthy.
IAInfluencer Andrea Somer
Yes, you are.
No, like... seriously. I’m not.
IAInfluencer Andrea Somer
Kat, you just have to love yourself.
But that’s what I’m trying to tell you! I fucking hate myself!
IEInfluencer Emily Roslyn Villarreal
Every day you get out of bed... it’s an act of courage.
That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have, like, fucking mental problems.
IEInfluencer Emily Roslyn Villarreal
Yes, I do. Why do you think I look like this?
Are you kidding? I wish my mental problems made me look like you.
IEInfluencer Emily Roslyn Villarreal
Trust me, you don’t
Trust me, I do! You’re like the most beautiful person I’ve ever fucking seen.
IEInfluencer Emily Roslyn Villarreal
Maybe by a white, cis-male, heteronormative standard.
[lies in bed and covers face with pillow] Oh, my God! Are you fucking joking?!
IBInfluencer Bree Kish
[rips pillow off and yells] Kat! Are you fucking serious?! That’s not you fucking talking! It’s the patriarchy!
It is me talking! You are not listening!
IBInfluencer Bree Kish
No! Society puts things into your mind!
I don’t care about society! I feel like shit!
IEInfluencer Eden Rose
Kat, you need to smash all beauty standards!
But I can’t even get out of bed!
IAInfluencer Annie Hsu
You have to love yourself.
IJInfluencer Jackie Winn
You need to find your inner fuckin’ warrior!
ICInfluencer Chloe Bunce
Become a bad bitch!
IAInfluencer Amanda LaCount
Just like you did last year!
But that wasn’t even real.
IJInfluencer Jewell Farshad
It looked real.
IEInfluencer Emily Roslyn Villarreal
I found it inspiring.
[gets up out of bed] Shut the fuck up!
IGInfluencer Group
[chanting, repeatedly swarming and following Kat] Love yourself!
[goes into the bathroom, shouts with influencers following her, shouting and pointing] Leave me alone! Get the fuck out!
[Kat glances at phone and sees a text message from Ethan:
"Be there in 20 mins".
[She looks up and notices that all influencers disappeared]
[walks up to jock and two friends] Hey, look, I, uh, I noticed the way that you’ve been lookin’ at me you know, past couple days, and I... I wanted you to know, I too, I’m into scat play, and if you wanted to, like, poop on each other–
[The jocks shout and chase Ethan]
JJock
I’ll fuckin’ kill you, goddammit!
If I were a genius, I’d figure out a way to do drugs for free. What if I am a genius? I’m a fuckin’ genius, Fez.
...
It is fuckin’ so because I came up with an amazing fuckin’ plan.
And what would that be, Rue?
All right, so [clears throat] ...all you would have to do is front me, like, $5,000 worth of drugs, okay? And–
Okay, well, before you say no, you kind of have to let me finish, right?
Okay, why do you keep saying that?
I did not like the way that the plan started.
Okay, well, you have to let me finish the fucking plan.
Fuck it. I give up. Whatever. I’ll just take my fuckin’ business elsewhere. It’s your fuckin’ loss, man.
[loitering in hallway with Rue] That’s a good-ass plan.
Thank you. Fuckin’ Fez didn’t even wanna hear it.
Ego shit, man. [to Lexi in hallway putting up flyers over the official "Oklahoma" play production calling for auditions of her original play also entitled Oklahoma] Yo, Lex, what're you doin'?
Oh, just putting up fliers for this play I'm doing.
What play? [V.O.] The only thing is... Lexi hadn't told anyone about the play... including Cassie.
I'd actually love for you to read it. [aloud] Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, send it to me. [enters washroom]
[enters washroom] Hey, Rue-Rue.
Hi, Cass. Wait, are you in the play?
What do you mean, Lexi's play?
Uh, the play that Lexi wrote.
The play's called "Oklahoma"?
No, the drama club's doing "Oklahoma."
Oh my god. Do I look like I'm in "Oklahoma"?
Why would your play be set in Oklahoma?
[facing Rue with Lexi making a slash throat (meaning; stop talking) gesture behind her] You thought I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
[Lexi frantically makes waving gestures (meaning; PLEASE stop talking) behind her] Are you making fun of me, or did you actually think I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
[walks up with Kat] Why the fuck would you audition for "Oklahoma"?
Then why the fuck do you look like you're auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
Has everyone read "Oklahoma" but me?
"Oklahoma"'s not like a play you read.
Oh, I've just... nah, I've just been smokin' a little bit of weed.
Wait, I don't understand. If you're not auditioning for "Oklahoma," then why do you look like that?
Like a country music star.
In a good way or a bad way?
Bitch, you better be joking. Are you okay, Cass?
No! Yes, fuck it! I am in love with Nate Jacobs and he is in love with me! And don't you fucking give me that look, Maddy, because I didn't fuck your boyfriend! You two were broken up for three weeks and three days before we even had sеx, so I didn't betray you! Plus, you guys are terrible for each other and you know I'm right and you guys can all judge me [turns head over left shoulder to Rue then back at Maddy and Kat] if you want, but I do not care! I have never, ever been happier!
[V.O.] But she didn't say that. In fact, it was much weirder. She just stared straight ahead like she's doing now and didn't say a word.
I think being single's really stressing you out.
Yeah. I think Nate really fuckеd me up. [Theo gasps] I said, "Messed me up."
I keep trying to figure out if I feel worse now than I did when I was with Nate.
I mean, you were really unhappy.
Like, I remember how the good parts felt. But when it was bad, was it really that bad? Or am I just telling myself that because I'm lonely and bored?
[shakes her head] No, you... you deserve someone who's passionate and loving. Who yearns for you, and–and can't wait to see you, who... who you're not gonna fight with, and just who's gonna love you. Like... really, truly love you.
Yeah... I don't know. [to Theo] Do me a favor... when you get older, don't be an asshоlе to girls you like, okay?
I know you and your drug addict friend. That girl... who tried to extort my son.
Because of what I did to her friend.
The fuck are you talkin' about, man?
[sighs] Look, man. I didn't know she was 17.
...You tellin' me you had sex with Jule?
The fuck are we even talkin' about right now, bro?
FFaye
Jule... Jule, Jule.
Yo, you recorded that shit?!
You didn't know that you were recording?
Obviously, man! Yo, who the fuck even told you I gave a shit about this anyway?
Your son? The one that's in love with Jule?
That's not cute, man. What the fuck?
What kinda weird-ass father-son shit is goin' on around here, bro?
...I'm extremely confused.
You're confused? I'm fuckin' confused, bro!
So, Rue, the $64,000 question is… What’s in the suitcase?
Ah, is that why you’re in that getup? You became an honors student?
I’m not in the mood for a lecture.
Lecture? I like to think we have conversations.
Okay, what? Did a hornet crawl up your ass or something? What’s wrong with you?
Look, I’m–Man, I’m not trying to hear a fucking lecture about how my life would be better if I stopped doing drugs, or believed in God or Allah or whatever the fuck.
Okay, well, you’re the one lookin’ like a Jehovah’s Witness. I just don’t think that there’s Bibles in that suitcase.
Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me? "Shut the fuck up?" Don’t play that shit with me. I've always accepted you for who you are: The good, the bad, and the ugly. Don't tell me to shut the fuck up. I'm not some parent you can just treat like shit.
Yeah, well, good thing nobody's really looking to you to be a fucking parent.
Yo! Excuse me? [uncomfortable pause] Excuse me?! [scoffs] When I sit across from you and tell you something about my life, you don't get to use that shit against me. You cross that line again, we're done. You talk back right now, we're done. One more fuckin' disrespectful word outta your mouth and we're done, you hear me? HEY! YOU HEAR ME?!
Or what, Ali? You gonna hit me?
[Cassie sitting on Nate's bed while Nate is in the bathroom]
But you knew I had feelings for Maddy.
But I didn't know you were gonna get back together with her.
How many times do I have to tell you that we're not back together?
Right, you just hung out and talked about love.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
If I would've known you were gonna get back together, I wouldn't have done this.
You have this image of yourself as so fucking sweet and innocent... but it's bullshit. If you were a fucking sweet person, you wouldn't have fuckеd your best friend's boyfriend.
[shakes her head] You two were broken up.
That is a comfort to nobody but you.
What, you wanna go tell Maddy?
You're afraid that I'm still in love with Maddy, so you're gonna do whatever the fuck it takes to destroy that. This isn't about being a fucking good person, Cassie, or being a fucking good friend. This is about you getting what you want. [pause] You can fucking leave, or you can get into bed. It's up to you.
You know what you don't realize, Nate? Is I don't care what happens to me. I don't care how angry Maddy gets. You two shouldn't be together. You're toxic.
Because she's my best friend, and I'm in a relationship with you. She's not good for you, you're not good for her, and I will do everything I can to prevent it.
Maddy, that's literally fucking insane! [Cassie gasps] Madd... Cassie, I s–
See?! This is what I'm talking about!
I–I said Maddy because we're talking about how fucking crazy Maddy is, which you can't seem to fucking comprehend!
No! What you don't understand, Nate, is I AM CRAZIER!
That's not something to be fucking proud of, Cassie!
No... but it is something you should be scared of.
[quietly] What the fuck? What the fuck!? You can't fucking blackmail me into a relationship with you!
Blackmail means you don't have choices. But in reality, you do have choices. You just have to own up to the consequences of them!
That is the LITERAL FUCKING DEFINITION OF BLACKMAIL! If you don't do this, I'm gonna do that! That is blackmail!
FINE, IT'S BLACKMAIL! I don't care! It doesn't change anything!
You know what's fuckеd up, Nate?! You telling me that you love me, and then going and being in a relationship with my best friend!
...OH, WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
[sighs when Cassie leaves the bedroom] For fucking...
[Cassie walks down the stairs as Nate tries to stop her from leaving]
Cassie, stop. I love you.
[Cassie stops for a moment, then continues walking downstairs. Nate punches the wall in anger.]
