[V.O.] When Nate Jacobs was eleven years old, he found his dad's porn collection. His dad, Cal, was obsessive. His mom always said that's who he got it from. Then, he quickly realized that the colored cases and placement were no accident. It was an elaborate code, that no one fucked with his shit. Every video was basically the same. They'd drink, make small talk... and then his dad would fuck the shit out of some...
Fucking whore. Fucking slut.
...
[V.O.] He made a long mental checklist of the things he liked and disliked about women. He liked tennis skirts and jean cut-offs, but not the kind so short you could see the pockets. He liked ballet flats and heels. He hated sneakers and dress shoes... but was fine with sandals as long as they were worn with a fresh pedicure. He liked thigh gaps, hated cankles. He liked tan lines, long necks, slender shoulders. He liked good posture and fruit-scented body mist. He liked full lips, and small noses. He liked chokers, but the lacy ones with flower cutouts or delicate patterns. He hated girls who sat like boys, talked like boys, acted like boys. But there was nothing on planet Earth he hated more than body hair. That's one of the first things he noticed about Maddy. She was basically hairless. He'd walk her home from school every day. Made him feel good to know that he was there to protect her. He knew the world was full of men who wanted to hurt Maddy. Men who hang out the windows of their cars and scream obscenities at her. College guys who wouldn't think twice about drugging her. Lonely guys who'd spot her at a mall. Men who'd rape her, torture her, sell her into sexual slavery. He didn't even like to think about it. He did, however, like to think about the things he'd do to protect her.
If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I'd kill them.
MaddyYou're, like, the sweetest guy ever.
[V.O.] He also liked that Maddy was a virgin, that no guy had ever put his penis in her.
Maddy
Yeah.
Maddy
Yeah.
What about like... Have you ever been fingered?
Maddy
Only my own.
Maddy
Do you think people are, like, one hundred percent straight? Or one hundred percent gay?
No, 'cause obviously there's, like, bi people, asexual, pan. Sexuality is like a spectrum, you know?
Maddy
Yeah. Totally.
Maddy
I don't know. Do you think straight guys ever, like, watch gay porn?
Not if they're a hundred percent straight.
Maddy
You just said it's a spectrum.
Yeah, on either side of the spectrum is gay and straight.
Maddy
I fucking hate this.
Maddy
No. He's, like, super straight.
Maddy
No.
It would explain why they're fighting.
Maddy
It's not about any guy that I know.
All I know is that most guys are, like, weird, gross, and fucking pathetic.
Maddy
You're not having fun?
Maddy
Yeah, me neither. You wanna do molly?
[They walk up to Fez and Ashtray's pretzel truck]
AAshtray
Welcome to Pretzelmania, can I take your order? [pause] How many pretzels do you want?
Maddy
We don't eat carbs.
AAshtray
That'll be forty.
[Maddy and Cassie each give Ashtray twenty bucks in exchange for two ounces of ecstasy]
So, you think Nate's cheating on you?
Maddy
I don't know. He's just been acting super-weird lately.
Have you gone through his phone?
Maddy
I've never not gone through someone's phone.
Bitch, you're my soulmate.
Maddy
Yo, what's going on with you and McKay? I thought you two were in love.
Nate asked McKay if were were in a relationship, and McKay said that we were just chillin'.
Maddy
What?
Maddy
Honestly, fuck them both.
[Later, they watch the Jacobs family at their chili cook-off tent after taking the molly]
Maddy
Honestly, fuck that whole family.
Maddy
'Cause right now I'm looking at a thousand versions of myself, and not only do I look good, I fucking feel good.
Maddy
So, if they've got something to say, they should just say it to my face, right?
Or you could just say it to their fucking face.
Maddy
Right?
That's what I would do. [pause] I feel like this is a turning point.
Maddy
Totally.
We should just pick the hottest, most confident, bad bitch version of ourselves, and be that for the rest of the school year.
AAnnouncer
And this year's winner of the chili cook-off is... Cal Jacobs! Make it six years and running!
[Nate sees Maddy slow-clapping in the crowd and rolls his eyes]
Maddy
Yeah, I'm not supposed to be here right now because I'm dressed like a hooker, and none of you like me, but I just wanted to say congratulations.
[Maddy knocks over the chili pot]
Maddy
Oops.
MMarsha
What in God's name is your problem?!
Maddy
You, cunt.
[Nate grabs Maddy by the arm and angrily drags her away]
I'm not gonna let you fucking embarrass me like that again, I swear to fucking God. [Maddy just giggles] Shut the fuck up! I'm fucking done with you! I'm so fucking done with you!
Maddy
[laughing] Yeah, what else is new?
Maddy
Yeah, fucking right.
Calling my mom a cunt? What the fuck is actually wrong with your fuckin' brain?
Maddy
I think you're overreacting.
[Nate suddenly slams Maddy against a trailer and closes his hand around her neck]
You're fucking dead to me. Fuck you. [starts walking away]
Maddy
I do have one question though.
[Later, Nate has no response when Maddy asks him about the dick pics on his phone]
Maddy
I'm just saying, as your girlfriend, those pictures are a little suspicious.
It's not what it looks like.
Maddy
Yeah? Well, then explain to me why you have someone else's dick in your phone.
It's really fucking complicated.
Maddy
How many reasons could there be?
I can't explain it to you right now.
Maddy
What does that mean?
Look, I'm going through a lot of shit right now. I need... I just–I need you to promise me that you're not gonna tell a soul.
Maddy
I am not gonna tell anyone, I promise.
Maddy
Yeah, on my life.
I'm sorry I got so angry at you before. I am sorry. [pause; reaches his hand out to Maddy] I'm sorry.
[Maddy walks over to Nate and takes his hand]
I love you. Maddy, I love you.
[Nate pulls Maddy close to him and they embrace]
I got a lot of sh... a lot of shit going on right now and I'm really confused. I don't know what to do.
[Cassie tells McKay about Nate's dick pics]
He had a bunch of dick pics on his phone.
MMcKay
And was like what? Sending them to other girls?
No. McKay, it wasn't his dick. It was other guys' dicks.
MMcKay
I'm confused. Who told you this?
[Cut to Cassie on the phone with Maddy]
Maddy
What dick pics?
The ones you told me about, on his phone.
Maddy
I don't know if your brain is all scrambled from all the molly you took, but I never said that. If you ever spread a lie like that, I will fucking come for you.
[Cut back to Cassie on the bed with McKay]
MMcKay
Anyway, look, Cassie. I'm really sorry about what happened the other night at the carnival.
MMcKay
No, I should've said something to Nate.
It just really hurt my feelings. I mean, I feel like you weren't proud to be my boyfriend.
MMcKay
Cass... Give me a kiss. [Cassie gets close to him and they kiss] I'm proud to be your boyfriend, trust me.
MMcKay
What do you have to sorry about?
[V.O.] Maddy wasn't doing well. Over the course of the last five days, Maddy had sent Nate a total of 273 text messages. None of which he answered. Plus, everyone in her life was against her.
SSonia
[in Spanish] It's not real love, Maddy.
Maddy
Who the fuck are you to judge?!
SSonia
[in Spanish] Don't swear!
Maddy
Seriously, Mom. Dad has slept on the couch since I was ten years old.
SSonia
[in Spanish] Don't be cruel, Maddy!
Maddy
I'm not! I'm just saying, love is a million things. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it doesn't. The one thing I know is that Nate loves me no matter what. He'd fucking kill for me, and I'd kill for him! It feels good to know that there's one person in this whole fucked up world who has my back! You think I want this?! You live in the same house and you don't even say one word to each other! That's the difference between me and you!
SSonia
[in Spanish] You're right. I felt the exact same way about every person I ever dated! The same!
[to Cassie] I don't know what you're gonna say, but this feels like... really dramatic.
BBB
Yeah, this is spooky.
It is not spooky, BB. I just–I need your advice on, like, two things. And I need you guys to promise me not to say a single fucking word. So, the night of Daniel's Halloween party, something happened.
...
Maddy
Wait, am I hearing this correctly? You wanna tell McKay that you made out with Daniel at the carnival and on Halloween?
Yeah, but, I don't... I don't have to say it's Daniel.
Maddy
Bitch, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard. [looks over at Kat and BB] Right?
Yeah, but I wanna be honest with him.
Maddy
You cannot tell McKay.
But it's not like I cheated-cheated.
Maddy
Kissing is worse. It's so much more intimate. And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny.
Okay, but, I just don't want there to be something this bad between us forever.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever.
Maddy
Kat, what the fuck is your problem? You're being a bad friend now. You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable.
Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times?
Maddy
It was literally the lowest point in my life, so yeah. That and the fact that you're just fucking mean.
Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you talk about is yourself. Your clothes, your boyfriends, whatever superficial shit you think is so fucking important. Sorry I'm no longer interested.
Maddy
I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat. You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a fucking cunt?
[Kat starts crying and leaves the room]
[to Cassie] What was the other thing?
You said you needed advice on two things.
I don't remember. What would you do?
Um, I don't know. I've never really been in a situation where two guys have been interested in me.
That's 'cause you're shy.
I guess so, but I've also never been in a situation where I've been interested in two guys.
That's also 'cause you're shy.
But if you were in my situation, what would you do?
Honestly, I don't think I would say anything.
What if not saying something makes you feel really bad?
Well, then, I don't think you have any other option.
[Fez sees Nate and Maddy park near his and Ashtray's convenience store. Nate gets out of his truck.]
Maddy
Can you get me a mango La Croix? And those cherry rolling papers?
[Maddy shakes her head. Fez watches Nate walk around the store through his reflection on a security mirror]
Yo, can I get two of the rolling papers, too, bro?
Yo, man. I don't know what's been goin' on with you, Rue, and Jules and shit... but you should know, I really do care about her.
...Aren't you, like, her drug dealer?
What, are you in a relationship?
Nah, bruh. That's like my family.
Look, man. All I'm sayin' is, leave her and her friends alone.
Nah, I'm just tellin' you.
We're not gonna be havin' this conversation.
[beat] Fezco, let's get this straight. You're, like, half a retard. You dropped out of school at 20, and now... you're a gangster. What are you, like, fucking Tony Montana? What's the plan, hmm? You gonna be living in a mansion, fucking pet tigers and shit? [chuckles and smiles] Go fuck yourself.
Listen, bruh. All I'm sayin', you keep fuckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'mma kill you. [pause] It's gonna be $5.75, playboy.
What if these are, like, the big moments in life? Like, my mom always talks about how high school was like this big, monumental part of her life. But I cannot imagine being 40 and looking back at this, like, "Wow."
Maddy
Yeah, but that's because most people peak in high school.
I definitely haven't peaked, so...
I feel like I'm not even a person yet.
Yeah, I'm definitely at, like, 25 percent peakness.
I feel like I'm at a hundred. But I can definitely get to 150.
Honestly, I never thought I'd make it this far.
I don't know. I just always had, like, this overwhelming anxiety that something bad would happen.
Maddy
In all fairness, last summer, there were, like, three weeks where I thought you were dead.
Okay, but she's been sober for, like, three months.
Maddy
[to Rue] Weren't you in rehab, like, six months ago?
[In a flashback, Nate fails to get an erection when he and Maddy get intimate]
Maddy
Are you, like, not hard?
Maddy
It... It doesn't really feel like you're hard.
Maddy
Nate, this isn't something you just, like, lie about.
Maddy, I just got a lot of shit on my mind, okay?
Maddy
Like right now? Like, during sex?
Maddy
Stop what?
Talking. Stop talking. Fuck.
Maddy
Okay, I'm officially turned off. Just get off me.
[Nate gets out of bed and puts on his boxers]
Why the fuck are we even having sex?
Maddy
We weren't.
You know what your fucking problem is? You can't keep your fucking mouth shut.
Maddy
Yeah, and you can't keep your dick hard.
Maybe the reason I can't keep my dick hard is because everyone at school is spreading these fucking rumors about me.
Maddy
They're not rumors; they're facts. You literally had, like, 40 different guys' dicks in your phone.
I told you not to fucking tell anyone.
Maddy
Yeah, well, I told people before you told me not to tell anyone.
Yeah, but you told them out of fucking context.
Maddy
Really? What is the context?
I'd tell you, but I don't even fucking trust you anymore.
Maddy
Kind of like how you fuck me, but you're not hard anymore?
[Nate suddenly stands up, gets back into bed and grabs Maddy's face]
Huh? Keep talking. Come on, keep fucking talking. Keep talking, huh?!
[Maddy starts crying once Nate lets go of her]
Maddy
[pause] Look, Nate, I don't mind if you're into guys.
I'm not into fucking guys, Maddy.
Maddy
Sexuality is a spectrum.
The fuck? What the fuck are you talking about?
Maddy
It's not like anyone's one hundred percent straight or one hundred percent gay.
Oh, that is one hundred percent bullshit.
[Nate walks out of his bedroom and shuts the door on Maddy]
[Nate and Cassie are having sex in the bathroom when Maddy knocks on the door]
I'm using the fucking bathroom!
Maddy
Nate?
[covers Cassie's mouth with his hand] Shh! [to Maddy] Uh, just a sec! Hold on! [Maddy knocks on the door again] Yo, just a minute!
Maddy
Open the fucking door, Nate! I have to pee!
[to Cassie] Are you fucking crying?
Maddy
Can you open the door?
[tries to calm Cassie down] Shh, there's no fucking reason to cry. You haven't been caught.
Maddy
I have to pee, Nate! Open the door!
[to Cassie] Calm down and put your clothes on.
[whispering] I can't... [sobs] She's my best friend.
Maddy
Open the door! I need to pee!
I'm just using the bathroom! Just a second! Fucking pee outside!
Maddy
...Are you taking a shit at a party?
...
Maddy
You're so disgusting. I can smell it! I hear you taking a shit!
Maddy
Hurry the fuck up!
[crying] We shouldn't have done this.
I need you to focus, okay?
Maddy
What are you fucking doing?
[gets herself back in a standing position] I'm so scared. I'm really scared, Nate.
[Cassie continues crying as Maddy continues banging on the door]
Hey, look at me. Look at me. I need you to trust me. I need you to trust me, okay?
Maddy
Wipe your ass and come out! I need to pee!
[to Cassie] I need you to listen to exactly what I say.
Maddy
I'm gonna break this fucking door, Nate! Open the fucking door!
TTravis
You waiting for the bathroom?
Maddy
Do I know you?
TTravis
A lot of people know me.
Maddy
Do you know me?
TTravis
Yeah. You're the girl I met on New Year's Eve standing in line for the bathroom.
Maddy
[softly] Oh, God.
[Nate finally opens the door and walks out of the bathroom]
Maddy
Wait, did you not wash your hands?
What the fuck are you talking about, Maddy?
Maddy
I can't believe you took a shit at a party and you didn't wash your hands.
TTravis
Yo, wassup? My name's Travis. I would shake your hand, but I don't wanna get hepatitis.
[to Maddy] Yo, can we talk somewhere in private?
Maddy
No, because I have to fucking pee. Move.
[As Maddy walks into the bathroom, Cassie is revealed to be hiding in the bathtub]
Maddy
I feel like I would look so sexy pregnant.
Maddy, please do not get pregnant.
Maddy
I wouldn't wear any of those nasty maternity clothes. I would just be me, plus pregnant.
BBB
Remember when I got pregnant?
Maddy
Yes, and it would be nothing like that.
BBB
[to Kat] Well, speaking of baby daddies, I seen the photo that Ethan posted to you. It's cute as fuck.
Maddy
Yeah, Kat, stop flaunting your healthy, non-abusive, wonderful relationship. It's actually triggering.
Yeah, he's um, really sweet.
[loitering in hallway with Rue] That’s a good-ass plan.
Thank you. Fuckin’ Fez didn’t even wanna hear it.
Ego shit, man. [to Lexi in hallway putting up flyers over the official "Oklahoma" play production calling for auditions of her original play also entitled Oklahoma] Yo, Lex, what're you doin'?
Oh, just putting up fliers for this play I'm doing.
What play? [V.O.] The only thing is... Lexi hadn't told anyone about the play... including Cassie.
I'd actually love for you to read it. [aloud] Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, send it to me. [enters washroom]
[enters washroom] Hey, Rue-Rue.
Hi, Cass. Wait, are you in the play?
What do you mean, Lexi's play?
Uh, the play that Lexi wrote.
The play's called "Oklahoma"?
No, the drama club's doing "Oklahoma."
Oh my god. Do I look like I'm in "Oklahoma"?
Why would your play be set in Oklahoma?
[facing Rue with Lexi making a slash throat (meaning; stop talking) gesture behind her] You thought I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
[Lexi frantically makes waving gestures (meaning; PLEASE stop talking) behind her] Are you making fun of me, or did you actually think I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
Maddy
[walks up with Kat] Why the fuck would you audition for "Oklahoma"?
Maddy
Then why the fuck do you look like you're auditioning for "Oklahoma"?
Has everyone read "Oklahoma" but me?
"Oklahoma"'s not like a play you read.
Oh, I've just... nah, I've just been smokin' a little bit of weed.
Wait, I don't understand. If you're not auditioning for "Oklahoma," then why do you look like that?
Maddy
Like a country music star.
In a good way or a bad way?
Maddy
Bitch, you better be joking. Are you okay, Cass?
No! Yes, fuck it! I am in love with Nate Jacobs and he is in love with me! And don't you fucking give me that look, Maddy, because I didn't fuck your boyfriend! You two were broken up for three weeks and three days before we even had sеx, so I didn't betray you! Plus, you guys are terrible for each other and you know I'm right and you guys can all judge me [turns head over left shoulder to Rue then back at Maddy and Kat] if you want, but I do not care! I have never, ever been happier!
[V.O.] But she didn't say that. In fact, it was much weirder. She just stared straight ahead like she's doing now and didn't say a word.
Maddy
I think being single's really stressing you out.
Maddy
I hate it.
Maddy
Yeah. I think Nate really fuckеd me up. [Theo gasps] I said, "Messed me up."
Maddy
I keep trying to figure out if I feel worse now than I did when I was with Nate.
I mean, you were really unhappy.
Maddy
Like, I remember how the good parts felt. But when it was bad, was it really that bad? Or am I just telling myself that because I'm lonely and bored?
[shakes her head] No, you... you deserve someone who's passionate and loving. Who yearns for you, and–and can't wait to see you, who... who you're not gonna fight with, and just who's gonna love you. Like... really, truly love you.
Maddy
Yeah... I don't know. [to Theo] Do me a favor... when you get older, don't be an asshоlе to girls you like, okay?
Euphoria · 97 quotes
