E.R. quotes

Susan

Jing-Mei, I am sorry about your dad. I really am, but I keep cutting you breaks.

Chen

I know, and I appreciate it. This'll be the last time.

Susan

Oh, man. There is no way I can get anyone to cover tonight. It's impossible.

Chen

Susan, please.

Susan

I hate to be hardcore, but I can't.

Chen

Look, can you stay?

Susan

I have a baby and a guy who's been watching him 24/7. And I just worked a 14-hour shift. No, I can't.

Chen

Well, maybe Carter can handle it. He's got Abby and Morris.

Susan

We're inundated with homeless from the city roundup.

Chen

I know.

Susan

We're already understaffed. Jing-Mei, please. You have to understand.

Chen

I do. It's okay.

Susan

Good. Thank you.

Chen

I'm sorry, Susan. I quit.

Susan

Chen just quit. Where's Carter?

Pratt

Quit what?

Susan

The hospital. Where's Carter?

Pratt

Trauma 2, I think. Quit for good? Is she alright?

Susan

She's burnt out. We're screwed.

[while pointing a gun at Abby] Scared of big black men, huh?

Abby

No. I'm scared of big black guns.

Susan

I need to talk to you later about your patient satisfaction scores.

Neela

Is there a problem?

Susan

Yeah, they suck.

Luka

Weaver?

Susan

Yep, otherwise known as the four letter word beginning with a "c".

Luka

Crab?

Susan

[to Ray] When people come to the hospital, they want to see a doctor, not a rock star.

He's too young to go, and he shouldn't even be listening to that kind of music anyways.

Luka

I didn't know you already said no.

Luka, I'm trying to teach him the value of a dollar and you go and give him everything that he wants.

Luka

It was only fifty bucks.

For a concert ticket for a ten year old. NO. That's ridiculous.

Luka

I just don't think you should be worried about money so much.

Look, I appreciate your generosity, but I am not going to let you start paying for everything.

Luka

But you don't have to pay exactly half the rent and half the bills every month, that's ridiculous.

You know I've been taking care of me and Alex for 10 years on my own, I think I can handle it.

Luka

You know, this isn't about money at all. You're worried about losing your independence or something and about my role in Alex's life. What, are you worried you're losing control or something?

You know what, you always do this.

Luka

Do what?

This! Telling me what I'm really mad about.

Luka

Most of the time, you don't know what you're really mad about.

Luka

Sam, this isn't our stop.

Kerry

If we don't get our patient-satisfaction scores up, we can't start pursuing HMO contracts.

Luka

Okay, who's low?

Susan

Ray, Neela, Morris-

Carter

Abby's the only one with a decent score.

Kerry

Even Pratt's been on the low end.

Luka

I think Pratt's okay with the patients. It's the other doctors he has a problem with.

Luka

It's a teaching hospital!

Yeah. It's also a real hospital with live patients who didn't get antibiotics and insulin 'cause I was in here doing compressions for 30 minutes!

Luka

OK, so you did some extra compressions. What you really mad about?

Are you in all seriousness telling me for the second time today that I am not mad about what I'm really mad about?

Luka

I have no idea what you just said!

Haleh

You owe me one.

What? No, I don't.

Haleh

Yeah, you do. I put down the NG on Mrs. Leighberger.

I didn't ask you to do that.

Haleh

Dr. Kovac did.

What?

Haleh

He said you were a little "over-extended" today, unlike the rest of us. [leaves]

Abby, will you excuse me? I need to go yell at someone.

Abby

[doesn't look up from her patient] Have fun.

You're really good at teaching other people how to communicate.

Luka

Thanks

We should try it ourselves sometime.

Luka

Yeah.

Luka

But my English, you know? I still need to work on it.

Aw, you're pulling the Croatian card? That's low!

Luka

You were right about one thing.

Only one thing?

Luka

Fifty dollars is too much for a concert ticket.

Abby

You slept with your instructor?

Dr. Gibson had a very tender way with cadavers.

Abby

And you called him "Dr. Gibson"?

Neela

Only in bed.

Luka

Do you have an intern on this?

Carter

I got Ray.

Luka

Uh... what do you think about taking Neela instead?

Carter

Why, is there a problem?

Luka

Just do me a favor, okay?

Carter

Alright, send the Punjabi powerhouse my way.

So, it's the pelvis we have to worry about?

Abby

That's right.

But other positions...?

Abby

Yeah, sure. Get yourselves a six-pack, a copy of the Kama Sutra and shoot out the lights.

Dr. Carter? Dr. Weaver's on the phone for you. She sounds kinda...

Kinda what?

...Weaver-like.