Gwizdo quotes from Dragon Hunters

Gwizdo

We're not married yet and she's already cheatin' on me!

Gwizdo

A dragon's a dragon, Lian-Chu, and we are dragon hunters, the best in the business. [An exhausted Hector walks into a tree] Although I'm seriously beginning to have doubts.

Gwizdo

I don't believe this. We've got the wrong island here. They're even dirt poorer than we are!

Gwizdo

You gotta learn to trust people more, old boy. People like me, for instance.

Gwizdo

I never lie.

Gwizdo

What the heck does he think, we get paid for goofin' off?

Zaza

Gwizdo, there's something I have to tell you. You and Lian-Chu were orphans, right?

Gwizdo

Yeah, and?

Zaza

Well, don't you think that your tragedy thing there, plus suddenly having a mother, would be a real shock to his mind?

Zaza

Is that what a tragedy is?

Gwizdo

Tragedy, my young lady, is a noble art form offering a symbolic vision of the world, based on the intersection of the written text and the actor's identity.

Gwizdo

It's just not possible. He can't do this. Not to me. Not to him. Not after all these years. We were a team. Two fingers like this. And now he's migrating to a distant land. He's flying with his family and left me all alone.

Jennyline

You know, he's probably happier this way. [She sits next to him] He's finally found himself a family. [She seductively moves closer to him] And you know, you could have one, too. [She wraps her arm around his shoulder so that his head is lightly buried in her bust and strokes his head. Hector scoffs at the sight] I know what it's like to be alone with my three husbands, and I wouldn't like the thought of a little fellow like you abandoned in the world of brutes.

Gwizdo

That's nice of you.

Jennyline

It's no big deal. One more husband...

Gwizdo

Jennyline, that's, uh, very nice of you, but, really, I'd resent myself. I'd have the feeling you were sacrificing yourself for me, and that would just torment me. Really, that... believe me, it's true. Let's just leave it at that, okay?

Gwizdo

It can't be. He's relapsing!

Zaza

No, Gwizdo, he's just saying goodbye to his mother.

Gwizdo

Here's to the greatest huntin' duo of all time. To Gwizdo and Lian-Chu!

If they helped to pay the rent, it would be even better.

Zaza

What about Hector? Doesn't he count?

Gwizdo

Hector?!

Gwizdo

Oh, Zaza. Don't make me laugh like that when my mouth's full.

Gwizdo

[trying to pull the St. George out of a swamp] Whaddaya mean, this never woulda happened with Hector?! If he'd actually tuned up the St. George before goin' off to play Tarzan, we wouldn't have taken off with a propellor full of gunk! You just wait and see if I don't dock his next paycheck!

Lian-Chu

He's never had a paycheck, Gwizdo.

Gwizdo

[panicked] Oh, lordy. Hector! We're too late!

Lian-Chu

That is a Herdaticus Nervous femur. It must be at least 15 lunar cycles old, given the heridity of the soil.

Gwizdo

[sighing with relief] For a second there...

Lian-Chu

[to Hector] I didn't know your species was afraid of dogs.

Gwizdo

[to Hector] And to think we've been tryin' to convince everyone that you were a dog!

Gwizdo

Oh boy... I don't like the looks of this... Whatever you're doin', uh, could you possibly, uh, tell me, uh, what's goin' on here?

The girl didn't want to share her secret with us. So I thought, since you seem to be friends...

Gwizdo

Let's not get carried away, we're not that good friends.

Gwizdo

Heh heh, is this all that necessary?

Give me the Number 2 Dead Man's Doodlewinger.

Gwizdo

Zoria, sweetie, you're gonna have to tell him your secret. The little game is over.

But Gwizdo, I already told you, I don't have a secret.

Gwizdo

[glaring angrily at Zoria] Well then, figure somethin' out! Invent, imagine, envision a secret!

Gwizdo

Nooo, don't hurt meee!... What in the heck?

Gwizdo

No! S-stop! No, no, please stop! I can't take it!

So?

Oh, but I already told you!

Bring me the Number Three!

Gwizdo

No!

Gwizdo

Please, have pity! Not that! I've got a- I've got a- I've got a secret for you!

Gwizdo

Here's the score. We're dragon hunters. Actually, we're the best dragon hunters around. And we're gettin' rid of your pigots for ya!

Baloney. The girl gave us the same spiel.

Gwizdo

It's-it's-it's not baloney! W-we can prove it by mincing up those nasty beasts! Wait! You got nothin' to lose in this deal!

Gwizdo

Hey! W-we'll even gut the monsters for free!

Gwizdo

Maybe this Roger guy just wants free room and board, to sleep in our beds, and eat your cooking.

Jennyline

Kind of like you guys.

Gwizdo

Guess what's in my pocket?

Jennyline

My rent?

Gwizdo

Noo, better.

Jennyline

An engagement ring?

Gwizdo

Look at this masterpiece. I put 'em up all over the place! "Got a dragon pestering you? Gwizdo and Lian-Chu get rid of your trash for a big wad of cash!" [He chuckles to himself] Happy now?

Gwizdo

Look closer. You see what I see? Hordes of desperate customers bangin' down our door!

Jennyline

[grabbing the advertisement] Let me see that. Say, these posters must have cost a bundle to print. The paper, the ink. How would you like to explain where you got the money to have these all made?

Gwizdo

[nervously] Eh, well, eh, the money came from, uh...

Jennyline

Listen here. I just hope for your sake it's got nothing to do with the sudden disappearance of my silverware!