A character in Dragon Hunters
Lian-Chu
Dragon Hunters · 54 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Dragon Hunters: in 16 of its 54 quotes
Most scenes with: Gwizdo (16)
[trying to pull the St. George out of a swamp] Whaddaya mean, this never woulda happened with Hector?! If he'd actually tuned up the St. George before goin' off to play Tarzan, we wouldn't have taken off with a propellor full of gunk! You just wait and see if I don't dock his next paycheck!
Lian-ChuHe's never had a paycheck, Gwizdo.
[The dog digs up an overly large bone]
[panicked] Oh, lordy. Hector! We're too late!
[Lian-Chu studies the bone]
Lian-ChuThat is a Herdaticus Nervous femur. It must be at least 15 lunar cycles old, given the heridity of the soil.
[sighing with relief] For a second there...
Lian-Chu[to Hector] I didn't know your species was afraid of dogs.
[to Hector] And to think we've been tryin' to convince everyone that you were a dog!
Lian-ChuI like this Spartan lifestyle. No frills. It's ideal for concentration.
[Gwizdo tosses and turns on his bed of straw]
[sarcastically] You don't say.
Lian-ChuI feel sorry for those old men. It's weird. Maybe it's just the candlelight, but I got the feeling Albagore has aged since we got here. Say, Gwizdo, can you explain your plan to me?
Hmm.
Lian-ChuSince it's complicated and all?
Lian-Chu, there is no complicated plan. I just said that to impress the clients, so they think they're gettin' their money's worth. You get it?
Lian-ChuBut what about the plan you drew?
[Gwizdo sits up]
Total bluff. Tomorrow we cross the bridge, wait for the monster and slay it with a slingshot. Wham bam, thank you ma'am, fork over the money, we hope to see you again someday.
[Lian-Chu looks at Gwizdo incredulously]
Lian-Chu, I just thought of something. Today's the seventh day of the harvest month in the Year of the Bull.
Lian-ChuYes, and?
[Gwizdo gets out an elaborate calendar. He presses a button and a number of arrows and symbols pop out]
Well, we have a little problem, because today in Zimbrenelle and surrounding areas, the calendar calls for an eclipse... [The cave suddenly goes dark] ... of the sun.
Lian-ChuGwizdo, I'm not sure, but you know our promised land? I think this might be it.
Huh? Do you have frostbite on the brain?
Lian-ChuYou know, where people accept us for who we are, and welcome us. Our real place in the world. Well, I think it's here.
What sort of gobbledygook are you comin' up with?
Lian-ChuYou're the one who brought it up when we left the inn.
[Gwizdo looks surprised]
First of all, I doubt I ever said any such thing. And secondly, even if I did, it was just to reassure ya. I know how hard it was for you to leave the inn.
Lian-ChuSo you lied to me?
Of course not. I didn't lie to ya. I was just improvisin' a bit.
[Lian-Chu sags a bit. Gwizdo sees Lian-Chu's expression and looks worried. He goes to the wall Lian-Chu is leaning on and sits on it]
Don't you think I was terrified too, with the idea of leavin' it all behind? All I wanted was to run right back to the inn to my big soft bed, the toasty fireplace and Jennyline's delicious cookin'. If I said that, it was just to reassure me, too.
Lian-ChuSo you want to go back to the inn, too.
More than ever, Lian-Chu. More than ever before.
Lian-ChuBut what about the pride of dragon hunters?
When yer cold and hungry, dragon pride can take a hike.
[as he listens to Billy's story, Lian-Chu sees tears streaming from Gwizdo's eyes]
Lian-ChuAre you crying, Gwizdo?
[Gwizdo dries his eyes]
[voice choked and quavering] Course not, you big oaf. I just got some dust in my eye.
Lian-ChuListen, Billy. Gwendolyn isn't Gwendolyn.
[Billy looks at Lian-Chu for a split second, then buries his face into Gwizdo's chest and sobs]
[dryly] You know, Lian-Chu, you have a real talent for comfortin' people. A real talent.
[Gwizdo is sitting on the ground cross-legged, clutching the contract and trying in vain not to cry]
Lian-ChuWhat's wrong, Gwizdo? Is the contract that bad?
[voice choked] On the contrary. It's the most beautiful contract I've ever seen and it's gonna make us rich.
Lian-ChuSo, you're feeling better, then?
[Gwizdo's face morphs into an ugly gurn, his eyes brimming with tears]
On the contrary. I've never felt so awful in my life. You can even negotiate better contracts that I can.
[He bursts out sobbing]
I'm such a loser!
How's it goin', big buddy?
[Lian-Chu hangs his head sadly. Gwizdo awkwardly looks around]
Lian-ChuYou should have seen it, Gwizdo. There was nothing left. Only ruins. A massacre.
[Gwizdo looks sympathetic] I try not to think about it. It hurts too much.
I know what you're sayin', Lian-Chu. I feel the same way about my family.
Lian-ChuHuh? Really? So you're not mad at me about the contract, then?
Ah, come on. Contracts are a dime a dozen. Although this one was a real beauty. We were gonna make a fortune, a mountain of gold. I had it all planned. The dragon was a wuss. We woulda bagged him without breakin' a sweat and walked off with more gold than we've ever seen.
Lian-ChuI fear the worst.
[sarcastically] It's so nice when you try to cheer me up.
Lian-Chu[looking at Gwizdo's poster] That face says something to me.
[Gwizdo snatches the poster]
Oh, yeah? You wanna know what this guy says?
[He holds the poster up in front of his face to speak as the person on the poster]
"Hello, Lian-Chu. It's me, your competition. Let me tell you: Your dragon hunting days are OVER! Your successful career: OVER! Life as you know it in that cozy little inn where you like to hang your hat: OVER! Nyahahahahahahahaha! Easy come, easy go. Nyehehe. See you. Buh-bye. Sayonara. Have fun in the poor house. Nyahahahahaha! Ruin. Ee-hee. Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee."
[He looks up at the interior of the Snoring Dragon]
I gotta admit, Jennyline, it is a cozy little inn.
[the Mimikar inspects our heroes, who are chained to a wooden frame]
Lian-Chu, the reason you can't feel your body anymore is not because you're clean. It's because you were poisoned.
Lian-ChuYou mean to say you took all those risks just to save me? Oh, Gwizdo, I don't know what to say.
Well, given the present circumstances, "Farewell" might be a good start.
[the Mimikar spits fire onto its hands and rubs them together]
Lian-ChuIt's not farewell. You wanted to save me, now I'll save you.
[Lian-Chu tears the chains off of his hands and lands on his back with a crash. With all his might he starts pushing on both sides of the wooden frame from the middle. The Mimikar prepares to breathe more fire]
Lian-Chu, you wanna save me? How about now...?!
[Lian-Chu shatters the frame to pieces, breaking the handcuffs on Hector and Gwizdo at the same time just as the Mimikar breathes out the fire. The Mimikar starts bawling]
[ecstatically] Lian-Chu, buddy, I'll say it for the millionth time: You are simply the best.
[Lian-Chu gives Gwizdo a feeble smile and collapses]
Hmm? Lian-Chu?
[Distraught, Gwizdo runs over to Lian-Chu]
No!
[He shakes Lian-Chu's arm desperately]
Wake up, buddy! Wake up, my friend! Don't you worry, Lian-Chu, we're gonna save you!
[He looks up with a look of grim determination on his face]
The gland. Hector?
Yes, sir!
[picking up a piece of the wooden frame] Get ready. Get ready!
[Gwizdo springs forward with the piece of wood in his hands and charges towards the Mimikar. He swings the piece of wood back, aiming it at the gland]
Hold Lian-Chu's mouth open!
[the Mimikar breathes out a gale of fire. Gwizdo hurls it forward, stumbles and lands on his face. The piece of wood is sharpened into a stake by the flames and it lands straight in the Mimikar's gland]
[Gwizdo, Lian-Chu, Hector and Chief Big Beard are flying through the sky in the St. George]
Hey, am I paranoid or do you guys not like me too much?
[sarcastically] Us? Not like you? Get serious. On the contrary, we think you are the greatest. Why, just this morning I was saying... Oh, wow, look at that beautiful little island!
[the dwarf goes to the edge of the St. George and takes a look]
[under his breath] Lean over more. You'll get a better view.
[With a look of vicious rage in his eyes, he reaches a trembling hand out to Chief Big Beard to push him off]
Lian-Chu[under his breath] Gwizdo!
[He raps Gwizdo's hand with a cane. Gwizdo clutches his hand, seething with pain, and looks up at Lian-Chu angrily. Lian-Chu waves the cane in an "uh-uh" motion. Gwizdo grudgingly continues steering. After a while they land on the island where the dragon is located and get off]
[discreetly, to Lian-Chu] We'll try the discreet approach some other time.
Flippin' fleetin' fortunes, my gold! Whatever happened to my gold?!
Lian-ChuDragons to dragons, dust to dust.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dragon Hunters pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
