King Kai quotes from Dragon Ball Z

[about Hercule] I can't believe that guy. Taking all the credit for your hard work. It's despicable.

He is a cheat. But you know what, he's a really good actor.

Well, I'm not amused. Imagine that face on a cereal box.

Yeah man, I could see it now...Hercule puffs.

My...that is funny.

Huh? What's wrong? [West Kai keeps staring at King Kai's halo] What? Stop staring!

West Kai

Uh!

Ahh...!

West Kai

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Uh...what!?

West Kai

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You really are dead!

Yeah, so what?

West Kai

The North Kai is dead! Hee hee! After all your corny jokes, it's about time you were funny. Aha ha ha ha ha!

How dare you call my jokes corny, you little shrimp!?

West Kai

You know, none of us have ever seen a dead Kai before.

Not ever.

And so now...we'll have a big party!

Leave me alone!

An Other World Tournament. I think that's just a killer idea, West Kai.

West Kai

Hah! Why, thank you sir.

And to make things excitin', I'll throw in a free private lesson to whomever brings home the gold, baby!

West Kai

You mean...the winner of the tournament...

...Gets a lesson...

...From you!?

Hey, that sure beats training for ten thousand years, doesn't it?

West Kai

Hey, three of my fighters advanced. I'm incredible.

Yes, West Kai. Incredibly lucky.

West Kai

I dare you to say that again!

Lucky!

West Kai

Oh, your brain's slower than South Kai's fighters.

Guys, guys. Lets not argue. Lets make fun of East Kai. She only has one fighter!

Not so cocky now, are you? Once Arqua is underwater, he is absolutely unbeatable.

But...that's just not fair!

West Kai

Why? There's nothing in the rulebook against changing the ring into water.

There should be.

[Cheering for Olibu] Come on, Olibu!

West Kai

Hey! North Kai! Why don't you just save your breath and cheer for someone good! There's no way he can beat Pikkon!

What!? Just wait and see, you fast talking half-pint! Olibu's gonna beat Pikkon without even trying!

West Kai

Oh! Everyone look at North Kai! He's just told another corny joke and no one thinks it's funny!

Wow. Maraikoh sure got his tail whooped. His coach must be a loser. Oh right, West Kai! He's from your Quadrant, huh?

West Kai

He threw the fight.

Grr...

West Kai

I told him to since it'd be kind of rude for both my fighters to be in the final round!

Wha...!

West Kai

That's right, blue boy! So you better get all that stupid victory dancing out o' your system because there's no way Goku's gonna beat my Pikkon!

Can't you ever lose a match without giving some lame excuse! Goku's going to win this tournament and that's final!

I have my own fighter. His name's Papoi. He saved the South Quadrant from something very nasty.

What? Like boredom?

That's Buu. You fought him yourself a long time ago, remember? Hello? He was wreaking havoc all over the universe... total destruction... a mess...

West Kai

Aah! You gotta be kidding me! That's him? That's Bibidi's madman? He's been revived again? This is terrible!